fee-yuhh

Its a motiveless tajuk of FIUH but spelling fiuh itself its like below my negative creativity level harhar so here I am trying to make things fancier ( insert firework 1.32 metre ) , so here I am again , writing comfortably in this once-wished-to-be-abandoned page , I guess time heals don't they?  ( they or it? how we call time? leuls najwa stawps. Though sebenarnya azam nak tulis balik when the page view hits 0 a day but looking at the statistics , if I strictly followed my kind of ridiculous dream ( by setting the page accessible to public some more ) I might not write for another a week I bet? 

Actually I had fun by shutting myself off from the 'alam maya' , walaupun takdelah buat apa sangat in real life aside from getting to know more people , classes , housemates , then housemates lagi sebab my life literally revolve around my housemates and my course-mates and end up masih juga rumah , but its still feels livelier more than ever sebab most time spend masa jana pemikiran produce lawak lawak hambar yang surprisingly people still reacts to my so deserted lame jokes. * lambai lambai artis lap hidung sambil memakai gloves tangan putih crown di kepala senget sebelah haha * 

for anyone like anyone yang terasa or terkesan dengan lenyapnya daku dari mana mana medium alam maya , I'm sorry , I will try to detach this bad behavior because yeahs I ( thought )  ( like I ) don't really think people do care , but thank you if you does. Thank you :) ( semalam bercakap pasal knowing people is a responsibility , like we need to keep a good contact with people , and I'm literally headshoting myself sepanjang bercakap tu sebab tak lunaskan pun hak hak berkawan ni  * pengsan tergolek * )

Banyak k sebenarnya I kept inside my notes or anywhere that I can write privately. Like how lame an almost 24 hours journey travelling from Malaysia to Cardiff with that heavy hearts that no one can ever explain , how it feels like spending your raya on the plane eating buns with undetectable dish when you can smell ( in my brain ) ( like how can you najwa ) sup tulang dimasak tatkala lembu sudah di qurban , ( meniarap secara drama menarik kaki lembu sambil meraung ) hahaha. I was glad sebab pilih tarikh balik sehari before hari raya aidiladha , so that all my siblings can gather around and send me off , indeed their efforts are priceless. Abang jauh dari Perlis , Nadzmi dari Palam terus tunggu dekat KLIA when he have class on that same day , and in a way it brightens up that gloomy day , what a great summer I had , dapat spend masa tengok muka ayah ibu , dan yeah sekarang tengah homesick kejap , tolong sesiapa pindahkan Malaysia sebelah UK please , like once ( like many times pun ceqqq sukaaaa ) ( I don't know if I've said these things in the previous post but in case I'm repeating , its to show how grateful I am , how happy I was thinking about their priceless efforts )







i miss everyone :(


I did planned some rangka nak tulis post on how that day feels like tapi eventually dia telah bersemadi dalam draft and that vibes aren't there anymore T.T 

cuba menceriakan hati dengan menulis leuls. 

I just partially done my first tutorial for the year , which I tell you susah gilaaaaaaa k nak gather that wanting to finish your workloads after having three weeks classes without tutorials , and after an almost five months breaks from sets of long tutorial questions , kali ni memang rasa ya ampun seksanya kerana malas tanpa sebab. I might find myself golek kekiri kekanan atas katil for like two hours then terlelap jap mimpi luar petala ke sembilan putera raja whatssap ( because melamar sambil melutut sounds cliche enough ahah sampailah my housemate wakes me up with " Najwa jom solat jom " tiba tiba daku tersedar tercari cari eh takde whatssap ke tadi kah kah pooooooooooofffff hilang semua putera hilang ( I sounds weird now I know haha ) ( in case kalau confius kan , * if you read this line * you can shut your browser off hahah ) 


DAN SEBENARNYA SERONOK WEH BELAJAR NI , ( nada serious yang teruja ) ( aku serious ni aku serious )  because when you start , you slowly grabs the understanding and slowly seru balik the spirit and eventually it feels so gooooooood dapat manfaatkan masa , so takdelah rasa sia sia sangat kehidupan ni , moga kekal aaaa momentum rajin tuu. 

suasana kehidupan second year ni rasa macam way better than my first year sebab like almost semua solat , solat jemaah sesama dengan housemate , alhamdulillah rumah baru ni is a blessing insyaAllah , ada common room to gather psst fyi its even nearer to the school ( ballet dance pusing pusing tengah dapur ) no more lisvane bye bye hello thesiger ( jangan tanya camne nak sebut , masih fail , lidah melayu , masih ) hahahha  , lazimi mathurat every morning though ngantuk tahap tak boleh cerita , then we do breakfast like a king and a pauper masa dinner ( more berpagi-pagian though sometimes we cheat ) ( its the only thing we can cheat , kasi can please ) , dia rasa macam hidup atas landasan yang lurus insyaAllah hendaknya. Moga terus istiqamah diri sendiri dan sekeliling :) 

picnic with le sisters :)

baby ji got more new friends :DDD

The wall of a distorted love size because I'm obviously pendek dan tak reti memanjat haha 

tilt your head - with Humaira and Haziqah :)

my housemates , my blessings in life :) 


jarang dah sebenarnya stay up but I exceed my usual sleep time ( because its weekEND ) ( and I can ) haha 

so there goes my feeeyuhhh post . 

det-ache-ing

Its been a while I bet. 

( I was emotionally complicated ) ( hypothesis shall come first ; women memang complicated ) 

I'm a woman 
I AM COMPLICATED 
hypothesis accepted , 


I've been constantly writing through other mediums ( laying low as for now ) till my friend ask me a short question " Kenapa Najwa dah tak tulis blog ? " knowing that she don't ( really ) read my page hence why question . I spent quite some time explaining on why I choose not to write on this site  ( plus with all the protections I put on the comments site ) , I guess it was meant to comfort myself. 

In fact I was trying to do the same for other social medias. For comfort. Disappear to give myself a little space ( though by not writing suffocates me inside , because its been always be writing that sooth me * in a way ) I sounds depress aren't I? Well to be exact , I'm not since I'm enjoying what life offers me at the moment . Tipulah tak rindu all those babbles moment nak spur your heart out , nak tells whats inside your mind in the limited 140 characters or even share the happy moments on the instagram and to store all the stories inside the blog . I miss the 'ME' that spends a portion of my life trying to fancy the life we put on our (not that) social medias but its for good cause kot ( like living a livelier present ) , so I (hardly) choose to detach myself from these things. 

it ache. it does

For someone who I can say , were very attached to all sorts of social medias , detaching is always the hardest part. You need to restrain yourself dari nak update segala macam perkara , I do take pictures like OOTD (har har ) like everyday and till one moment ambik gambar sebab suka suka bukan sebab nak put in on the timeline ( which kejap lagi you see yourself checking on the likes ) , if its not you , its me . Tapi entahlah , I just feel like not publicizing my life anymore which that includes me reflecting over stuff - storing memories. Kot. Truthfully what happened in the past regarding the blog really affect me in many ways and to write back , to be able to inspire some eyes is so hard for me now. 

I write because there might be someone who've been reading through my rumbles and thoughts .  You must be that someone that secretly delivers love and support which I appreciate that so much :) Time heals don't they?

It heals a bit since I've loosen the protection towards the commenting site ( dah vanish dah kot all the super menganggu fikiran comments ) 

I hope you stay healthy , bright like you always do , have a good day  ( You applies to anyone who're still scrolling through ) 

Do send me bundles of doa. You might see me actively writing in the future. I hope to see some improvement with my perspective and my spirit towards (public read ) stories. or whatever you call it heh. 


Nah , ( for I don't know what ) but it was the first day of class , and I was excited sebab first time duduk atas sekali ( tak atas sekali but atas la ) ( me being asian sits at the third row from down below dari sem satu ) but this semester punya jadual memaksa daku untuk berlari lari anak dari law school ke this lecture theater hence explains why I need to sit dekat atas hew.