Girlfriends.

p/s : Its not that I only value this circle of friends in my life. I have many more which lasted for many years and I always cherish them in my life meski tak reveal pada dunia luar. 

Its been ages since I wrote down about my Ge'ef 

recycling the same kind of photo since ge'ef doesn't really take pictures when they meet ahaha.

Though for countless time I watched videos like ditching down the display ( the smartphone in this case ) and start to interact in real life , I might still found myself melingkar bawah duvett sambil bergelak ketawa melayan manusia yang dah penat study dan berkira kira untuk bertukar menjadi seekor singa kerana singa tak perlu study. ( cc Hannis Sofea )

Currently semua ge'ef kat Malaysia sibuk hadap exam namun singa masih aktif di whatssap kerana singa memang jenis yang kuat study ( mencapai level sakai tahap 6.79 ). Ain dengan Qila ( another 2 ge'ef yang currently dekat USA , sorang Iowa sorang Seattle ) berjumpa dekat muktammar San Francisco. Seronok tengok gambar diaorang sama sama , which everyone is the person the used to be , yang akan menginjak umur 21 tahun. Lols dulu whining about being 20 sebab dah habis umur belasan tahun dan topik dalam group mainly discuss pasal shopping - then share exam schedule - then release tension in between breaks sebab jadual pack - then buat sharing sikit pasal what we got from our surrounding ( which includes tadabbur ayat , or reflection on anything surrounds them ) then most of the time akan end up discussing insecurities takde siapa nak umur dah 20. Wahahaha. 

They're the one who I felt okay nak reveal almost everything - beberapa hari lepas I couldn't keep it to myself how hurtful it was to see the street is empty and memang homesick yang sangat teruk , cuma tak mampu dizahirkan dalam bentuk tangisan. Dah lepas share pasal keretakan emosi , teringat pulak sharing masa pergi Scotland about da'wah , then terus randomly share dengan these set of wonderful girls.

And today when ibu sent me a text " ibu nangis baca blog anis " I couldn't help myself . I miss her. Then I told my GE'EF ( basically shares the printed screen ) , then tetiba boleh tercerita pasal mak mak and the memories. Since dari form 2 , since I lived in Melaka , selalu I'll bring my ge'ef to sleepover at my house which among us , rumah yang selalu dijadikan tempat berkumpul dan berhimpit seramai tujuh orang sambil bercerita is my house. We used to sleep in Ain's room as well untuk attend tution chemistry in 2011 hahahha ingat balik macam kelakar sangat because semua macam sardin berhimpit.  And basically my mom is like manager a girls group named Ge'ef muehehehhe. Sebab I know my mom is a kind of person yang nak tahu with whom I be friend with and one of them is Ge'ef and she's kind relieved sebab my life go revolve around these people and basically gak my mom have met them all and memang kalau apa apa , I'll go frank with her anything. 

Dulu my family ( semua ahli keluarga ) used to go to Hannis Sofea's house in Yong Peng. Melaka - Yong Peng , back in 2012 kot I couldn't remember but that was like one good start which signify kitaorang bukan just like kawan - hai - bye , but because of us two , both families meet and my brother used to play chess with her brother . 

Our moms used to ask about one another . Piya okay? Yana okay ? Ain masih ..... * tanda soal bersama tanda tanya , eh tertanya ke hahaha ) ( conversation hanya difahami oleh ge'ef sebab selepas beberapa tahun , topiknya hanya sama apabila melibatkan ain haha ) , Qila macam mana dekat US? Syida Aireen okay dekat Uni? , and I know from there , our friendship is like more than just people who used to go makan dekat Dewan Makan sama sama , or orang yang used to tidur dorm yang sama.

 I must say adanya whatssap kinda help to strengthen our bond despite ada timezone berbeza , I kinda missed those days I sent 6 same messages to 6 people and nanti memang macam oi gelabah siapa reply dulu semua haha. Days I used to contact them through telefon rumah je gayut tak ingat dunia padahal nanti jumpa dekat sekolah. Padahal sekarang phone rumah ke phone rumah dah free , takde pulak gigih nak gayut dua tiga jam hahaha. Pastu bila sorang tak angkat call sorang lagi sampai panas telinga pastu the thing kinda berangkai rangkai sebab we called the same people and share the same thing ahahhahaha sumpahlah apa yang kita cakap sampai tiga jam wehhhhhhhh ya Allah. ahhaa. Zaman layan facebook secara berjemaah , comment berangkai semua. 

Hahah sekarang everything was done through whatssapps and skype , the least is to give a selfie sedang berkabung bawah duvett .

Writing this down I really felt kitaorang macam berkawan dari zaman Flintstones ( camni ke eja?) ke zaman teknologi dihujung jari yang kebas dek kesejukan kardipp yang melampau, hahaha. 

Its a long way , ada masa I kinda question , are we like really friends sebenarnya , or its just for the sake of being nice and tada there's a group and to kick anyone out from the group sounds so wrong , tapi as time passes by , with tested relationship , Allah did show yang our friendship is more than that , its not merely a courtesy relationship because I did value everyone in that circle and every single of us , match-make by Allah , dan ditakdirkan untuk glorify the almost 8 years friendship together despite having different parents or living in different states. It do shakes for many times before ( the realtionship )  bila there's doubt in our hearts , tapi I know by now , they're the very true friend I always want to keep close. 

Today we've unlocked the sister level friendship bilamana tetiba singa di atas ( masih Hannis Sofea ) hahahaha tetiba nak randomly call my mom. Then we shared our moms contact detail , so maybe lepas ni the relation could be tighten sebab mak sorang is kinda like mak semua orang. ( comelnya I kennot ) . 

Its a long way process isn't it?

From a dormmate ( me ) and another ge'ef ( syida ) having this negative perception on a girl yang bertudung bulat ( Hannis sofea the lion which literally lion in real life hahahha ) , yang bawak baju sampai tujuh keturunan on 8th of January 2007 , then befriend with people yang sekelas , 1 Perdana dulu ( Aireen , Aqila , Noorliana ) . And the friendship grows apart sebab masing masing masuk kelas berbeza , me staying with Aireen for five years in the same class , and there comes Ain Syuhadah , which I thought she shakes the relationship in 2009 ( nyata its just my thoughts because what happen after that miraculously arranged by Him )  . But eventually being selected as one of the member in the high comittee bench bersama Ain , kinda complete the ge'ef circle and insyaAllah moga kekal sampai bila bila :')

You guys , meski jauh , you guys cherish me almost everyday with hundreds of notication setiap hari. then bila exam semua completely senyap kriks kriks. But I always know you're there. 

sweet habis la ni? Belum. More sweetness left for many more years to come !

I swear singa ni rajin studyyyyyy ! haha. abaikan typo singa akau jadinya hahahha kbye.

Wrapping up 2014.

Too early I bet for a whole year reflection posts since 2014 berbaki  lagi berberapa hari. 

I was supposed to start writing my criminal assignment the moment I wrote this , four days before first of January  ( 2015 ) appear. I have this urge inside me to write down about my Scotland trip - my Ini Sejarah Kita camp , but it feels so wrong to share my personal joyful moments on the timeline when everybody is having tough moments with floods back in Malaysia , even my family as a whole tak directly affected , but standing as Malaysian , I guess I shall keep those posts in my mind , hopefully tak hilang the details. Moga tabah :'(

2014 had been such a tough year. A year untuk accomplished whats written in the JPA contract back in 2012. Which to pursue my degree in United Kingdom. After two years , after being showered by tons of similar questions ( Bila fly? ) ( Bukan hari tu dah fly? ) ( Nanti fly ke mana? ) ( and all sorts of flying questions ) . Finally I am here , breathing Cardiff's air , leaving the people I love , the food I miss , the warmness back in Malaysia. 

Aku sebenarnya hampir lupa pressure hadap Alevels , from trials to the real exam , which sebenarnya I faced all of that this year , early this year and somehow deep inside I feel paid off. The pain tunggu result yang pending when everyone is moving to the next step. Masa tu rasa yang macam takut sangat sebab I've spurred my efforts and due to technical issues which memang Allah dah susun , berkemungkinan tak boleh nak fly sebab the missing grade. 

Road to United Kingdom



Berpeluang melanjutkan pelajaran ke UK , aku rasa aku lebih kenal diri dan fitrahnya ( berbalik pada agama ). Di bumi yang Islam itu asing , standing as minority with a very small group of muslim seniors and friends , I'm experiencing the moments yang Allah jawab repetitive questions dalam kepala - like kenapa kau Islam? Kenapa kau wujud? What is the purpose of living ? , Allah grant people surround me to show all of that Allah dah bagitahu dalam Al-Quran ( yang I've been living with for almost 20 years - minus zaman bertatih dengan muqaddam , its been like 13 years I bet ). 

which the main purpose of living is to be a khalifah ( Al-Baqarah , 30 ) . And to do ibadah ( At Zaariyat , 56 - 58 ). One thing that coolly illustrate this is , once upon a time , masa zaman nabi , there's this one guy berpuasa among people yang buat kemungkaran sekeliling dia. And dia despite dia menjalankan ibadah pada Allah , the guy ditegur for failing to make the people surround him to stop kemungkaran , he abandon his duty as khalifah , which as far as I am concern , is to sama sama educate the people surround you and tak cukup ibadah alone as a sole duty to Him , but to work along with the people and together to straight path ( heaven ) . 

Which itu buat aku sedar yang to blog , to write something , I have more responsibility than just expose my thoughts to public , but to sama sama educate peole and at the same time , it makes me remember the sole idea why I am writing , which to bagi manfaat to the people yang maybe randomly going through the lines. 

heart breaks and tested friendship .

my cardiff families. ( housewarming 2 months ago )


I couldn't really remember the details what's happening through the year , tapi bila baca balik blog posts dari January. I certainly know I've been going through lots of things , dari tested friendship early this year , after berjuta persoalan / faking emotions and heart breaks , it resolved somewhere around October bila masing masing dah jauh. 

I learned in my travel days to Scotland from my usrah mate ( the happy sharing circle ) yang ada tiga degree of friendship which reflects a lot in my life. Which is berlapang dada ( bersangka baik ) - sama rata - and itsar ( which melebihkan orang lain , highest degree of ukhwah ) . Because to achieve the three degree is friendship is tak senang , lagi lagi the third one , because it involves altering ego's and maybe your prides. Kadang kita rasa yang we're the one who hurts the most and overtimes kita allow diri sendiri to take the blame solely because we're willing to face the pain instead of shaking a friendship , which even in pains , indirectly you have achieved the highest degree of friendship ( which itsar , melebihkan orang lain daripada diri sendiri ). Sedikit sebanyak , with knowing this , it heals the hearts that breaks , it give peace in the people who're willing to sacrifice more. 

somehow this three degree of ukhwah ( friendship ) actually give a one measurement on how ukhwah tu dikira. Sometimes kita tak sedar that a simple act of bersangka baik pada orang could ease someone's life ( which overtimes it ease your own thoughts sebab bersangka buruk leads you to hatred ) . Sama rata is when in friendship we give and we get , we share the joy and pain , which its a goal in any friendship which to share gembira sedih. And lastly , the ability untuk mengutamakan sahabat , we certainly did that in many points , and kita taksedar pun sebenarnya we've achieved the highest degree of persahabatan , 

of all heart breaks and tested friendship , pat your own back , meski susah ahahahhaha , pat bahu sendiri atau mintak hanger baju pat kan . You've unlocked the highest level of ukhwah !  

Family joy !

once upon a time , four months ago.

2014 juga telah mungkin memberi kegembiraan kepada keluarga when abang graduated ( when I just started my degree ngeh ) ( and dulu pernah je sebut , " Doakan adik tak datang graduasi kau " says Anis Najwa to her abang ) ( and betul Allah grantkan the wish , since I'm already here in middle September ). When I flew off to Cardiff , mengurangkan rasa gelisah ibu ayah yang signify my ups and downs sepanjang Alevels - dengan subjek bertukar tukar , Math masa semester 2 dapat C , and all worrisome comments from the people surround me. 

Dan mungkin untuk adik adik yang nak pursue / having dreams to pursue degree over the seas , despite seeing the cheerful me uploading pictures " Yayyyy UK in a month " or something , I must say , IT'S NEVER EASY . ( before reading this line bolehlah start stalk past 2 years posts miahahha ) Tapi bukan maksud NEVER EASY , you can't make it through . Because I've seen many people able to go through their preparation years , I told myself , " WHY NOT YOU? " " WHY CAN'T YOU?" . Sebab dulu I used to see my seniors and friends yang dah fly semua and rasa macam whoaaa bestnya bestnya fly nak fly gak. Which ( I did have the thoughts yang senangnya fly ) but eventually as time passes by , experiencing everything by myself - I must admit , LIFE IS NOT A BED OF ROSES , ITS A BED OF THORNY ROSES MIAHAHAHA. nampak cantik namun berduri , itu diaaaaaaaaaaa ! haha. 

You'll get this one day. Be inspired ! Putus asa mungkin berlaku di tengah jalan , tapi bangkit semula dan sambungkan balik semangat tu aicewah haha. 

My adik adik , sorang tengah degree first year jugak , sorang baru habis SPM , sorang bakal masa form 2 , sorang lagi baru habis UPSR ( lama dah kot ) , and that means takde dah adik yang dekat primary school. Bila jauh dengan family , it always give me this one kind of relief mode and happy mode bila cakap through telefon / skype dengan orang dekat rumah. Orang orang ni yang telah menjadi tulang belakang , to give the strength virtually sepanjang hidup. ( the moment I'm writing this , I am looking at their pictures on the wall , the smiles , rindunya semua oranggg ;') ).

#Theanisnajwa travel project - family photo everywhere !

( I know its a long way to go with this pink dress but nayyy haha , I know I always have you guys bukan hanya dalam gambar tapi juga dalam hati sanubari itudiaaa ! haha - London trip , November 2014 ) 

my jaulah mates - iwani humaira ( my humaira II ) , Haziqah , Kak Naurah , Kak Ain , Fateen and Kim the Maria's and Nadilah :D - Scotland winter trip !

WSW families back at PMS :)

And it makes me remember my #theanisnajwamusafir travel project , which to bring them virtually here , to have them anywhere I go , to have them in the pictures , sebab dulu before buat , I feel so unfair jalan sensorang when they're the reason why I am here . Many people asked whether they could do the same , YES YOU MAYYYY PEOPLEEE and you don't need to ask me to do the same. I want to inspire this thoughts of being thankful to the people - sebab aku tahu aku fly bukan hanya kerana usaha yang memang tak boleh tanding kuasa Allah , kuasa doa everyone involved untuk menjayakan misi Anis Najwa ke United Kingdom . Even nanti tiba masa they would just perceive the existence of my family picture in the pictures I took as biasa biasa and a must in every picture , to me , its valuable and it gave me this one sentimental value , and maybe for my family , to show yang they've been there even before they're physically here. Biar di mata orang nampak biasa , namun di mata saya sendiri , itu istimewa. 

Menangkis motion lalai dalam hidup ! 

2014 juga menyaksikan yang talking about zauj , mencari imam yang hilang , mahupun tulang rusuk spine tah apa apa yang banyak makan masa dulu dulu , yang pernah bawak diri ni going astray from what I shall achieve that time , merupakan salah satu kelalaian yang besar I ever made in life. Sebab I kinda realize talking and discussing about this , filling your mind with these thoughts couldn't make you any better in person. Malah kadang when you kept this thoughts , it kinda make you go day dream and kadang boleh buat kita lupa the bigger responsibilities yang kita ada dalam hidup. I guess I've stopped talking about those things. Sebab mungkin dah lebih tua dan telah menjadi lebih realistik dari dulu. Takpelah , ada jodoh tak kemana. Takde jodoh pun di dunia , harapnya ada nanti disyurga. 

jodoh masih kuat bersama dress pink di Scotland dua minggu lepas kerana merasakan muka yang tak berapa putih nampak putih dengan dress ni haha 


If you asked me what I want to achieve in 2015? Or what I've achieved back in 2014? 

in 2014 , many things I wished for , Allah mudahkan and the biggest hope and challenge is the Road to United Kingdom. In 2015 , dah siap siap lekat dekat dinding , which to be better in the 10 challenges must have personalities in a muslim ( inspired by Imam Hassan Al Banna )



1. Aqidah yang bersih ( to have better understanding in Al-Quran , and healed by it )
2. Ibadah yang benar ( nak kenal buat list list amalan fardhu and sunat - Nak practice balik Mathurat pagi petang and also more tahajjud insyaAllah )
3. Akhlak yang kukuh 
4. Kekuatan jasmani ( I went up to the Arthur's Seat in Edinburgh mengikut google 822 ft above sea level though tak sampai puncak sebab we got lost in the middle sebab dah gelap , which its kinda tough for me and I cried emotionally up there ( thank you ya Allah dah gelap ) - though I kinda hate climbing up the hills , I guess I should seek kinda similar activity like this bahahah to build up the stamina - eventually kat Scotaland banyak climbing punnnnn ) 
5. Intelek dalam berfikir. ( tak nak ngantuk dalam kelas T.T * which Idk ni intellect ke tak haha )
6. Melawan hawa nafsu !
7. Pandai Menjaga waktu 
8. Teratur dalam segala urusan. 
9. Mandiri dari segi economy ( gotta save more money )
10. Bermanfaat bagi orang lain. 

mungkin for the time being it sounds too general , but I gotta keep some for my personal to do list and achievement . Tapi insyaAllah whatever I am going to do later , I'll make sure insyaAllah inclined dengan these ten ciri ciri peribadi muslim. 

Allah , thank you for this wonderful year yet a very tough one for me and my closest people in life. Nothing I could ask for more because I had more than enough things in my life. I know overtimes I disobeyed You , above all mistakes and wrongdoings , Your Blessings datang tanpa henti. And to know and realized bertapa beruntungnya diri ini , I hope this would definitely make me feel closer to You. Above all nikmatMu yang aku dustakan , I know I can never withstand Your neraka , its too painful , and even if aku dah bayangkan how painful it'd be , I know neraka is much more beyond what I think and I know I can never withstand that. And I know no one in this world could withstand that , guide us to straight path. Ease the people in Malaysia , from all the disastrous events , give them strong hearts to go through this test. Because I know you wouldn't give something beyond apa yang manusia mampu.  

Perhimpunan Musim Sejuk 2014 , Hope - Derbyshire

Above all in debt posts , I choose to write about PMS first ! Assalamualaikum and a pleasant day I bet to the eyes who're reading through. Moga ini memberi manfaat.

pre note :

One of the challenge I have masa nak tulis this post is the usage of wording like tarbiyah , da'wah ( educate and spreading knowledge ) , ghuzwatul fiqh ( serangan pemikiran ) , which I need to write it in better explanation to make the message sampai kepada yang sudi membaca. Sebab for those yang dah biasa with all the term will find it understandable without being explained tapi I know yang different people with different level of exposure come and go to my blog ( acah acah ada reader lima saat ) , and I guess that's challenging. Sebab the difficulty to understand the wording would somehow affect the reading .  If you happened to have questions on what these wording is all about , maybe you can note me down here or any places yang I'm kinda reachable , kalau satgi nak ketuk pintu rumah kat Kardipp pun I sedia membantu. mih mih mih.


The original idea on why I choose to go to this camp because I was attracted with this idea of spending your winter break in camps which UK offers me with various of camps and basically with these choices , obviously la kan kena pilih satu. ( kewangan tidak mengizinkan nak langgar tiga camp sekaligus - sambil main biola tepi jalan ) .

I personally masa awal awal macam tak clear dengan pengisian PMS. or even the jaulah ( travelling ) before PMS , note that , PMS is Perhimpunan Musim Sejuk. I can say macam membuta tuli jugak masa apply nak join , and we're ( my housemates ) were in the waiting lists and memang awal awal dah cakap , kalau rezeki , insyaAllah Allah mudahkan jugak jalan nak pergi and beri peluang untuk pergi , which kalau tak dapat pun , bukan jodoh. Kot. Kira macam the urge to join tak di tahap eager gila. Ketahuilah saya tidak berperasaan sangat sejak sejak winter break , sebab tengok luar rumah banyak rumah dah kosong semua balik hometown masing masing , dan secara tidak langsung ini sangat menganggu emosi seorang Anis Najwa. To say that I want to make myself better as the original niat pun macam tidak. I just feel like going sebab nak the experience and why not kan?

But as time goes by , bila dah datang the camp , through slots , I know what I exactly want. Frankly , I acknowledge apa yang berlaku in the society , on how sad we could be , how we allowed ourselves to be influenced by the world agendas to ruin the good personality a good Individu muslim shall have. I've been attending such camps since sekolah like almost every year and still , I know diri ni belum sampai tahap nak bawa perubahan lahiriah ( physically ) .

Despite being in denial dengan hati yang separuh terbuka , I know , sebenarnya what I love about the camp is the surrounding. I ponder yang orang yang datang camp ni adalah orang orang yang choose to be there , because to be there you have to sacrfice your money , your time , perhaps your sleeping time berhibernasi seperti beruang di bawah duvett .  And certainly no one was forced to be there , even me myself . Because at the first place masa nak sign up for the camp , I consented my participation and I have the choice to decline . Tapi memang Allah dah susun , yang Anis Najwa did spent her 4 days of winter break dekat PMS. And what I could say , saya rasa sangat bersyukur. Like sangat sangat !

I reminded myself for countless of times , this is a circle of people yang nak seek to be better , as a believer , as the one who practice the religion thoroughly , so I know these sets of people would somehow positively affect my life. Sebab I always love he quote yang kalau kita berkawan dengan orang yang jual minyak wangi insyaAllah wangi tu akan ada pada kita nak jugak sebaliknya.

Through my four days there , all of us we're trying to seek the hero in us. The theme is also about seeking " Heroes in You " . You know that its not a five second searching untuk tahu the heroes in you. As for me , I've acknowledge hero hero yang once upon a time had bring Islam to the very peak masa zaman khalifah dulu instead of making all those superman batman dan kawan kawan sebagai icon superheroes ( well mungkin aku manusia yang attracted to these characters so I don't really see them as heroes since kecik )  . As for myself , I acknowledge my parents and my families as my heroes as for me how I define a hero , is someone who're able to change , from the least perspective to the biggest change in someone's life , or taking it up to the next level , changing the society as a whole like what Rasulullah had done in the past years along with the lines of great sahabat. 

I frankly love the last slot of the camp which mainly discussing ways to be a hero , because I'm living in the society yang partially dah sedar whats happening and often question , sebenarnya apa yang aku boleh buat? Because to see myself speaking up to any united nations in the world to stop genocides in the middle east countries ( is something that I can never see ) , what I can say , even after the disastorous surrounding we're leaving , kita ditinggalkan dengan persoalan , 

sebenarnya , apa yang aku boleh buat?

dan blank untuk seketika. Was it normal / cruel to be that blank ? I guess its written yang human do meet points yang mana dia keliru nak buat apa sebenarnya because dulu by the time the first wahyu turun pada Rasulullah , Baginda pun menggeletar and bingung taktahu nak buat apa as mentioned in ( 93 : 7 - Surah Ad-Dhuha ) . But did he stop there? The answer is no. Because if by the time the very first ayat Quran turun and Baginda Rasulullah saw terus berselimut dan menggeletar , and choose to not do anything , perhaps , kita yang Muslim sejak lahir ni , tak tersampai tarbiyah agama pada kita. Even kita mungkin bukan Islam sejak lahir. Because he took the responsibility and spread the dakwah , we , shall be the one yang appreciate it and bukan setakat menghargai , tapi hidup as a muslim in and out , bukan hanya pada nama. 

For someone who I never met , knowing you through the history , the hardships you're going through to educate people in jahiliyyah ( bodoh , berpecah belah , sesat ) , I know I am now in that phase even untuk educate diri sendiri untuk keluar dari jahiliyyah pun rasa berat ( menangis ) and here I am , merasakan ada tanggungjawab dalam diri sendiri untuk educate the people surround me , yang mungkin bila dia baca through this line , dia pun boleh rasa the little spark in them , yang dia pun shall educate people to be close to the religion , to not just know saya Islam tapi tak deeply know what Islam is all about. 

So sebenarnya after lines of explanation , still apa yang kita boleh buat? 

Tarbiyah. Kita kena baca dan sampaikan. Dan I'm currently doing one of the component tarbiyah , which 1.Membaca dan menyampaikan ( I'm delivering what I get from the camp ) , 2. Membersihkan and lastly 3. Mengajarkan pedoman. 

Sepanjang program jugak , there's this one slot I don't really remember the whole slot is all about tapi what attracted me is how someone can read through Al-Quran and understand the wording through arabic phrases instead just baca terjemahan. Which it hits me hard sebab dulu rasa berat sangat nak belajar Bahasa Arab Tinggi and never once I use that knowledge untuk understand tafsir. Sebab ada satu ayat tu , the ustaz mentioned about penggunaan huruf 'Lam' dan 'nun' mati untuk menunjukkan ayat itu ayat penegasan dari Allah , because He used both huruf to show the serious intention in the ayat Quran itself. ( which frankly I am amazed sebab I know yang dulu pernah je belajar benda benda ni dan tak take serious pun the importance of knowing how to understand Al-Quran through what I learned ) 

Thats serba sedikit what I got from the camp. I couldn't recall what hits me the most tapi sepanjang dekat sana , one thing  , I feel glad to be surrounded by people yang boleh randomly distribute an answer book to common questions asked by non muslim sewaktu kita dah lay down on our bed dan menyerahkan diri diserang serangan dunia seperti scroll timeline instagram dan twitter ( jatuh berdebuk seperti nangka figuratively ) , yang mengingatkan untuk baca Al-Mulk before tidur sebab last slot that night tak include Al-Mulk , yang ajak Mathurat atas train sebab sepanjang camp all of us dididik dengan adanya Mathurat pagi petang. Which I personally dah rasa all this good feeling masa JOM dulu and I'm kinda expect the same kind of surrounding yang buat kita feel at ease. Yang give us virtual messages yang everyoneeeeee there semua , not even sorang left out , semuaaaaaa nak jadi baik. I don't need to define baik sebab dia mengikut indicator masing masing , if someone is able to cover her aurah dari tudung 1 cm menutupi dada ke 2 cm menutupi dada - or membiasakan diri membaca Mathurat part ulang 3x , or even kepada sekecil kecil niat untuk berubah ke arah kebaikan , me myself note that as baik . 

The surrounding termasuk the place itself was beyond beautiful dia punya tenang , sebab dia terletak di kawasan yang sangat kecil dan comel bersama biri biri yang sangat banyak. And its very windy with rains bersama coverage internet yang sangat rendah ( which this is kinda helpful because less distraction you'd have) and eventually you'll be ditching down your gadjets and started to know people in real life ; sambil bertanya " Awak dari mana? " " Nama siapa eh? " dan tak kurang juga ayat seperti " Eh macam pernah nampak awak ni " dan juga ayat fanclub * kipas angin di tangan * " awak comellah najwa " berguling seperti anak panda. 

I guess for those yang bakal baca this thing ( which might include the AJK's, kakak fasilitator , mungkin juga orang sebelah yang duduk masa sharing atau pun kakak yang tidur katil atas - okay kita mention jugak all the 160+- ( plus or less ) , I'm sorry kalau mungkin ada mana mana benda yang tak tersampai message atau pun terkhilaf sana sini on delivering , atau mungkin nampak diri ni tak bersemangat sepanjang camp , atau pun kelihatan seperti rebellious monster , atau pun kelihatan seperti manusia yang tak bercakap atau juga creepy , maaf dipinta. Its been such a great opportunity to meet you guys , to be included in this good surrounding , the hospitality is beyond perfect from the very beginning , the places , THE FOODS ! , the people , semoga Allah merahmati usaha usaha kalian semua. 

Ketahuilah I got more than what I wrote down here. Hidup ni macam adaptasi novel jadi filem , banyak little details left behind but for those who read / know , knows that its inside the story / me. Camtuuuu haha. Jzzk sisters ! 

Lets include some of the pictures I took there. Seperti biasa tidak mengikut turutan.


at Hope train station , with hope the program would change something in me ( masa baru sampai ) - baju juga banyak kali diulang pakai kerana ketiadaan washing machine miahaha.

during talks. 


Yes , saya nak !

najwa excited because she looks like one of my batchmate haha. May Allah ease your project kakak !

I never know ferroro rocher ( tah camno nak eja ) could be sweeter with the comfort dedications awwww. * wink eyes *


closing ceremony.

the sisters najwa drama tetengah mohon disepuk.

our dormitories , Mews 14. Antara benda yang make me feel so good here. ! Thanks Kak Syaf , Amelia , Farah , Kak Fizah , Yasmin , Nabila , Aina Zamirahhh , Kak Syawal , Kak Shashu :**

seeking the heroes in us !

meet my SBPI Selandar mates ! Ain. Najwa. Kak Tiqa.

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

Anis kuasa dua. I met Kak Anis masa JOM dulu and still masih excited jumpa kak Anis sebab dia orang Melaka jugak weheehe.

with kak Beilaaa, our dearest camp commander. Wahah sebab pernah dah jumpa kak beila before ni masa usrah , so rasa macam yeay rapat dengan camm com ( takde kaitan hahaha )

Meet Ajlaa , my no choice but to meet her everyday hahaha housemate.

meet Faez , kakak Fazi ( junior debate dulu ) . Lols its like meeting Fazi in Faez , sebab macam lebih kurang sama haha.

hello goats ! adios

In debt posts , with plural 's'

Hello I know I've been promising people with postS screw me I was too 'busy' spending my winter break outside Wales like finally yeay ! Pastu disebabkan emosi naik turun bagaikan lautan air di lautan pasifik , there's Ini Sejarah Kita post ( a camp , weeks ago , month I guess ) , then post enjoying the days in Cardiff dengan adanya kak ekin ( well I need to mention this , akak please baca pastu call kita dengan nada excited kerana nama disebut nayyyl it haha ) and up next , kelab jaulah kak maria yang bertukar ke kelab jaulah Humaira ke Edinburgh dan Scotland. And next PMS , Perhimpunan Musim Sejuk. 

Ya Allah serious banyak , nak tunggu mood datang memang macam sepoi bahasa habis T.T , plus to recall the details is another set of drama. Sudahlah sepanjang PiEmEs kalau orang tanya what your minat , time , and energy inclined to , I would definitely say  Tulis Blog - which I know I am exposing this site to a larger group of people and I know , I need to write.Itu belum kira in debt with sharing circle punya inputs which I personally admit dah lupa details details sharing , kita memanglah ada jot down en all the notes , but to recall the surrounding is kinda hard , sesungguhnya saya banyak khilafnya sebagai kahlifah di dunia ( tudiaaaa tarbiyah PMS ) haha. 

So I guess. I shall start writing very soon ! Ketahuilah banyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak gila draft post , yang I end up masuk draft semata dan itu dia. Sebab menerawang ke pelusuk mana I isz sad yknow, 

Takpelah , insyaAllah ikhlaskan diri nak share good things , moga apa yang akan ditulis dan dipost memberi saham baik pada saya dan juga orang yang membaca dunia akhirat ! :) 
sebenarnya dah kira kira nak update pasal ISK.

tapi sebabkan baru homesick yang extreme ( sebab bercampur tangisan )

maka nantilah dulu.

Ayam Panggang self proclaim sedap recipe.

Oh well I am stuckkkkkk with my contract exercises awatlah gini blurr dia. 

I remembered my cravings for Ayam Panggang for the past two weeks after viewing Tesco's website konon nak online shop groceries ahaks. Well nay pastu ternampak ayam panggang. Oh god tuhan je tahu bertapa rasa nak click dan order ayam panggang and you know its not halal , mourn inside the bedddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd T.T

Selepas mengharungi hari hari penuh malas nak masak , my food will rotate from Ajlaa's cooking , bread , muffin , eggs , and m-a-g-g-i-k-a-r-i mungkin satu masa di masa hadapan I am going to face this 'maggikariphobic' where my taste bud couldn't accept more MSG's from the yummy maggi curry. I finally got a grip , nak gak masak ayam panggang ! dan mulalah menggoggle phrase ' Ayam panggang sedap senang ' because selalu benda sedap ni complicated durrrhh dan memandangkan jarak rumah dengan kedai halal / meski juga yang tak halal adalah jauh sebab kena daki bukit yang landai , I did like thoroughly research. Weh serious cravings duduk oversea ni benda paling leceh kau nak layan sebenarnya , nak satay la pastu dapat satay tak rasa satay malaysia pastu sedih berkala. Nehiiii he nak buat dghama ( drama with pelat r ) hindostan nak pintu doraemon. K merepek. 

So gigih la cari bahan , sampai part nak pakai mixed herbs ke jintan manis dah pening. Guane nak tanya shop keeper , hang ada jintan manis dok? Pastu gigih google, tambah satu vocabulary , Fennel ! Fennel tu jintan manis. Dan resepi nak serbuk jintan manis , aku pi mintak jintan manis je ( and rumah takde lesung batu ) , sumpahlah buruk perangai masukkan dalam plastik ketuk pakai belakang pisau ( drama bawang putih bawang merah haha ) 

So letssssss start !

The original recipe is here, but I mend it a bit yeah thank youuuu !
  • 1 ekor ayam , rebus bulat bulat / atau korang maybe nak potong terpulang ( sebab diri ni nak yang bulat taknak potong , so gigih pergi beli sambil banyak kali mention , please dont cut the chicken and clean it all for me, no cut please <-- sambil tersengih macam kerang )
  • 5 ulas bawang putih. 1 bawang besar. 1 inci halia ( I use my thumb to calculate inch , tapi ikut la kot. ) all this thing blend ! 
Other ingredients :
  • Madu , 2 table spoon. ( I put more since I campak banyak jintan manis pastu pahit , well I don't exactly know where the pahit come from but since other ingridients macam tak pahit , jintan aaa ni haha )
  • Kicap , 4 table spoon ( I put more as well sebab colour dia terlalu bland. )
  • Sos tiram , 3 sudu ( I put less this one sebab sini punya sos tiram tak manis tapi masin , Malaysia Knor sos tiram manis , so bolehlah masukkan lebih )
  • Jintan manis si fennel seed , most people says put 2 table spoon but please takyah aaa kot bebanyak. Sikit je , 1 sudu okay kot. 
  • Black pepper seed ( ni sukalah nak letak berapa banyak ) 
  • 2 teaspoon garam.
  • As mentioned tadi , sos tiram Ukayy ni masin , so I put inside sugar like 3 teaspoon untuk balancekan rasa. Tadaaaaa. 
  • Butter yeah I lupo. 
1. Tadi rebus dah kan ayam? Kalau belum rebus dulu sampai air dia menggelegak ( is this the right term err ?

2. Mix the blended bawang halia with the Other ingredient mentioned above. 

3. Tos ayam si bulat dan perap bersama bahan (2) selama satu jam. Then bila habis sejam dua camtu , sapu sikit minyak dekat ketiak ayam , badan badan dia haha. 

mungkin in between ni boleh sat buat video miahah. 

4. Maybe can consider panaskan oven. Bahahha tapi aku masukkan je tak tunggu oven panas meh.
5. Bakar for 40 minutes , 180' celcius. Tapi I roast it like 50 minutes , and vary the celcius. Sambil tu in between bukaklah oven sapu butter on the ayam. And letak perapan ayam tadi to give more flavours yummyyy ! 

So after 40 minutes / 50 minutes , siap !!!

tadadadada ! Pictures in turutan yang betul haha. 
























After 40 minutes battling ( chicken battling with the oven heat haha )







note bunga hanya hiasan. 

SELAMAT MENCUBAAAAAA sesiapa nak cuba :3

nah video adaaa beberapa haha tapi malas nak upload semua  kbai. 


I guess I miss the feeling of falling in love with a human , an opposite gender. * tergolek  *

JPA pesan 3 benda bila ada dekat sini last meeting , 3 P * gaya Abang Salleh ( Upin Ipin ) buat langkah P Usahawan Muda lols *

Pengajian , insyaAllah 
Persatuan , insyaAllah ni malas sikit 
PASANGAN , insyaAllah ni pressure.

Kbai.