You know when it comes to the tittles, I kinda envied my brain like its mine but sometimes the creative parts come from nowhere - how can you be fancy at times like this haha hope this is making some sense, at least. 

Blergh here sounds cute, if you ever watched Hotel Translyvania , this will come with Sir Dracula impression of saying ' yo I don't say blergh blergh blergh' God guys please watch this for the sake of imagining how the tittle sound. 

So here I am still in MELAKA weh I was literally so over the moon for being able to come back home again, left home on Friday , went to a career fair, carefully dropped eight CV's since I printed only eight of them , I guess there's additional two I put it somewhere in the file for filing purpose ( need to print more and save one copy in case ) 

Went to my mum's friend house earlier, her Umrah friend, she's just so good at making friends, and I will be forever grateful that I have that partial traits. Ngueh ngueh. 

they said the best meet is the unplanned one, I guess haha. And my dad is smiling brightly, hence I need to put it here :p

yeah I rejected my first work offer - I don't understand myself really. I went to the interview twice, after each interview I was like nayhhh they won't call me for the second time, they turned don my negative thoughts and called me late evening when I was meeting my GE'EF. 

Had a serious working conversation in the Uber ride because I was negotiating about the working hours since I have classes to juggle with. 

They said it can be discussed and I went to the second interview, after I had a long tiring day walking around KL Central trying to figure whereabouts of Plaza Central for a conference producer interview. I can say that it is my thing, educational professional and networking with CEO's with all the travelings. 

But I have CLP ahead me and I can say for that like 45 minutes interview most of them is about how I am going to do CLP and this work. 

Of course the answer to that is I don't know, I need to try. My life is so uncertain and I am accepting it, like how can I offer you a very certain convincing ideas sir. 

They called for second time but one question they asked, the work requires me to travel around, will I be okay with that? 

THAT'S MA THING OF COURSE I'LL BE OKAY MY MUM SAID I NEVER STAYED HOME FOR THE PAST ONE MONTH but I said, if its not too much, I am okay ( because realistically I have CLP ahead me) and I invested quite a lot of money in that. So as Malay quote says 

Yang dikejar tak dapat, yang di kendong berciciran? 

I tell myself that maybe after one year I might consider applying the same position if they offered one, tempting isn't it. I got rejected of course but that's for the best. 

And I've put my stuff in my new home in Kuala Lumpur, and will be going back on Wednesday I guess since my class starts at 6. Facing the reality and I don't mind commuting from Melaka to Kuala Lumpur, got to enjoy the chilling time before turning into a complete adult. 

blergh, sometimes being an adult seems fun because you're taking control of your own life and fancy all the responsibilities but part of me dislikes it. 

Someone used to say to me that soon I'll mature ( cehhhh saying I'm not matured la tu ) through these phase. 


And on the side note, I confronted my mushy feelings with the person who caused it. I thought initially I'll opt for an unrequited love which sounds E W W W W W but its not me. 

To me its a waste of time, feelings and energy - I hate being in that draggy phase. But no offence I have my respect for those who does. ( hats off ) 

So I tell the person all the things I had in mind and I am thankful that he's cooperating . He made me think and as I expected , I am able to move on faster, healing better than dealing it alone, and for now I am trying to go back to my old self. 

I went brutally honest, ignored the butterflies feeling, I guess I am just that blunt when it comes to this not so important thing but occupying my head like there's no tomorrow. 

Rasa macam girls power sangat sebab able to talk about matters like this, because I know girls tend to keep it to themselves and have massive of doubts and expectations, like a mere view in an instagram stories from the person they're expecting to view it - means hell lots of things that can cause different species of butterflies flying inside the stomach, can make butterflies zoo also.

when in reality they viewed to kill time, or its just there, changing stories - sometimes they don't even bother unmuting the sounds. Blergh.

I hate to be in that blergh phase.

Gurlllll , you need to be realistic and just don't overthink.

Confront while you can. And resolve it fast. You have tons of things to be achieved ahead you, be it careers, travelings , owning properties, giving back to your parents while they are still alive. Don't settle for less, or put marriage as the only goal. I mean you're lucky if you already found your another half, but for those who don't , seriously muster up and brace the world !

ceh said someone who had troubles dealing with her own emotions 🙊

I am taking control haha 💃

Love, the'ann