Finals and May.

Last published post was on 19th , was before my first paper , habis dah paper Public and Contract Law , tinggal Criminal ( lusa ) and Legal Foundation.

So lama gila actually dah tak rakam suara baca random post : haha here you go.  saja.
Listen to Finals and May at Theanisnajwa.blogpsot.com by annnazari #np on #SoundCloud

http://soundcloud.com/annnazari/finals-and-may-at-theanisnajwa

Doakannnn :))

I don't have much thing to share to be exact , selain hati luluh melihat semua sudah pulang ke tanah air , sambil menyeka air mata jadi jatuh membasahi selimut aicewah , I tell myself , " Sabar , lagi berapa hari je lagi , sikit lagi , beratus hari boleh sabar takkan lagi dua minggu tak boleh kan? " , this woman , eh eh woman k I'm 21 well I don't exactly know pakai measurement apa nak distinguish a woman and a girl , I am perhaps a girl , eh mungkin toddler by heart ( masuk laut ) . I'm constantly having this homesickness and selalu fikir macam mana nak survive another 2 years. But certainly nanti satu hari I'll hope insyaAllah , I'll look back and pat bahu sendiri " You did it girl " I hope. InsyaAllah. 

ps : btw aku sangat suka cakap insyaAllah in between lines for the things in the future , kalau dulu aku suka question , contoh " Kau pergi tak esok " and they replied " insyaAllah " then I'll go " Pergi ke insyaAllah ( KE is OR in this context )  " sebab me in the past see " insyaAllah " as macam hmmm tengoklah cemana. Tapi recently , not that recent , sejak kat sini ni I remember going through Surah Kahfi , dan sangat selalu kalau aku random selak Quran nak dapat apa yang Allah nak bagi hari ni dekat aku , aku akan banyak kali banyak banyak kali terselak this page : 

aku suka sebab Allah yang suruh :) even sekecil kecil perkara , saying insyaAllah , Allah suruh kita buat :)

Alhamdulillah dah 21 last 24th May. I remembered being so cranky a day , two days before my birthday. Tah tetiba kenapa tah nak makan dekat this one Malaysian store because I've been craving for ( tak jelas crave for apa ) ( nak makan kuey tiau tapi end up makan nasi ) ( tapi craving aaa ) sampai tahap kalau tak keluar that day taknak keluar esoknya wakakaka. And my housemates were like " Kita keluar esok eh " " Esok petang lah " , pastu knowing my housemates , kadang tu bila kata nak keluar esok we end tak keluar pun ( most of the time , tapi in some ocassions gigih aaaa gak keluar ) , I had no idea they're planning for a suprise sebab birthday ceqq ahad. Ceqq nak keluaq Jumaat , like why surprise me on 23rd. ( najwa's logic ) ahahahha. 

I guess aku sebenarnya spoiler suprise diri sendiri sebab a day after my birthday tu my housemate mentioned yang memasing dah kalut najwa taknak keluar sabtu tu ( and I mentioned that masa speech birthday ) ( wakakakkakak pastu everyone goes " tahuuu " ) ( my crankiness is now known to the public miahhahaha ) . I was walking with Ajlaa to the restaurant time tu , and masa hari tu tau la kot tengah nak ada party , sebab yea even tengah busy mana pun , I was at the age yang masih ingat birthday sendiri and got fancied looking at the clock yeay dah pukul 12 , 24th May. 



I personally love birthdays. Dia hari yang random people wishes you - a good day - a best day - a blast day - and even strangers mendoakan kita on that particular day , surely its a reminder untuk kita lebih tawadhu dalam beribadah , I'm twenty one dahhhh. Perhaps the best thing I could wish for on my 21st birthday is kefahaman dalam beragama. I hope I am not the person whom I used to be in the past. Certainly , insyaAllah better. 

Terima kasih untuk sesiapa yang mendoakan , :)

I guess not everyone gonna read this but special thanks for the surprise - My kakak kakak Cardiff. Thank you , for putting my heart at ease hari tu. I was not in the mood. Satu malam takleh nak revise contract sebab I was crying. Hari yang rasa nak nangis je taktahu kenapa padahal Contract was one of my killer subject , at least to me , which sepatutnya aku takde choice pun sama ada nak nangis ke nak revise . It went well alhamdulillah. I did promise to give my birthday feedback , which sebenarnya I had none , sebab its a terharu beyond words tahap speechless ( escaping hahaha ) , eh tak serious ni , terharuu. Seperti tahun tahun sebelumnya , aku kira aku banyak sambut birthday luar rumah compared to dalam rumah sebab May is a busy month - kat sekolah , time ni tengah HKSBP so basically celebrate biasa biasa. Tak berapa nak fancy , but I bet this is the fanciest among all celebrations?

 Kakak kakak ni ,

 aku kenal tak lebih setahun pun , nearly but tak lebih dari setahun pun , tapi they're all blessings from Allah , sebab tak lokek kongsi ilmu - buat aku rasa I'm not alone here - and shows sayang tu tak limit sebab kenal baru kejap or anything. Duduk negara orang kan , you can't help but to have them as sisters instead of just friends sebab this is only the comforting choice yang kau ada dekat sini , and insyaAllah moga Allah secure the sister-ship sampai syurga . ( with all these new terms I beg to join the dictionary team hahhaha ) . And for the treat too , semua yang terlibat dalam menjayakan birthday najwa yang ke 21 gaya buat filem hahah. I ticked my craving nak makan Malaysian food thanks to my Machinants kat sini. 

terima kasih semua , and thanks pakcik with pro shaky hand haha.






Despite dalam blessings physically , my family sent me love ( and mental torture ) in a video form wish birthday tapi sedang makan bersama sama di luar MAKAN SATAY SOME MORE. hahhahahaha mentally tortured. But I guess 15 hari je lagi kan, apa ada hal , sabar najwa ! , aku punya clingy sekarang ni mengharapkan ibu untuk rakam or ambik random pictures of semua orang , supaya aku tak rasa macam lonely leuls ,  mungkin taknak rasa di left out , well everytime my family gathered home sarapan sesama , hantar gambar dengan caption (( ibu makankan untuk anis )) (( nasi lemak bungkus weh ala sedapnya )) . Thank you for the thoughts. Not to forget my GE'EF for the video , aku suka concept bagi video on birthday ni kah kah motif siap request awal awal. Perasaan dia is you woke up in the morning pastu banyak gila notification ( this was given before my family gave their video to me ) , I choose to see GE'EF birthday wishes first pastu nangis kueng. Cengeng gila dah kenapa dia ni. Susahnya nak jadi anak tabah di perantauan T.T 

But anyways , I shall stop now. Ada lagi dua ni paper baki. Perjuangan masih belum selesai. I got amused as the first timer face degree exam , sebab the hall muatkan like a total of 500 people in one sitting , and gaps between meja tak besar , cukup untuk manusia berjalan senget going through , and setakat ni aku punya tempat selalu macam terjauh terpisah diriku dengan budak budak law lain.  Aku amused tengok invigilator semua pakai sempoi pastu berjalan je sepanjang exam and they make you feel gila at ease during the day sebab kadang tu gelabah tak reti nak eh koyak side mana paper ni aaaaaa apa ni , tapi they will make sure kau tak risau on that little things?  Aku tak tahu situasi exam degree kat malaysia macam mana tapi yeah teruja aaa kot first time en , miahahhaha. They even provide glasses of water in case kalau ada orang nak minum ke  . Najwa dan keterujaan tidak mengenal circumstances. 

okay , bye. (( coldest conclusion of the century ))

The birthday videos. 

fyi , we have 3 May babies dalam GE'EF and jenuh k nak tunggu sensorang punya birthday hahah. Aku sekarang menggunakan konsep wish tiga sekali harung dalam satu post miahhaha. 

From the family : weeeeee


Berkongsi mungkin membahagiakan.

I was in the midst of revision while tetiba popped out dalam otak nak sort out souvenirs nak bawak balik Malaysia , sort out benda benda yang dah beli sepanjang travel winter and spring dulu. Of course menjadi manusia yang banyak khilaf , banyak lupa , plus tak buat notes zzz I left out many people from my lists. 

* escaping from the revision *

And tadi mula put into notes for whom this stuff should be for , for this person nak bagi apa , for this person nak provide apa , and plus the financial plans. Deng people might say weh lama lagi kau nak balik ( its 26 days today till Malaysia Here I Come ) , tapi yeah I usually plan my financial like months earlier plus alhamdulillah siap dah calculation expectation expenditure for second year.( semangat haha ) , takdelah , aku tahu aku jenis manusia yang tak berapa nak cermat dengan duit , I overtimes overspent pastu menangisi poket sendiri , though aku tak boleh nak janji I follow hundred percent my plan but this was to make myself aware with my money flowing in and out. Lagi lagi duit yang insyaAllah sekarang aku dapat ni amanah from people back in Malaysia , people pay taxes to support our studies here , and for what reasons I may recklessly use the money en? 

so masa sort out Malaysian Money tadi ( this is for dekat Malaysia nanti ) , yeah certainly I kept an amount of money untuk dibawak balik Malaysia , sebab aku kadang rasa macam it seems unfair I'm living a good life when maybe my adik beradik struggling with minimal money usage , I understand that I came from an average family financially but insyaAllah kaya dengan values agama and morals insyaAllah . Maybe for some people choose to save their money in UK's account because they have like stable financial usage back in Malaysia , not to say that I don't have one but I always want to make my siblings or anyone around me to feel the blessings too , maybe to tick some of their craving list. Nayyy I know that feeling having that one top-craving tapi takleh nak tick sebab you need to prioritize whats important first. Sebab bagi aku , berkongsi mungkin membahagiakan , bukan mungkin, tapi insyaAllah membahagiakan. 

Aku teringat dulu masa apply for scholarship ( mungkin cerita yang tak berapa masuk dengan tajuk but yeah hahah ) , instead of thinking pursuing studies overseas , aku lebih berfikir to ease my parents burden , aku melalui fasa mohon privately for University dekat Mesir for pharmacy , and seeking for financial supports from various private companies and hospitals , I was naive at that time , aku random hantar emails to many companies and some did reply me and channelkan the conversation to relevant departments. Not that I know aku jelas dengan apa yang aku buat time tu . My parents played part as well , pergi pejabat zakat to see whether they can provide me with any financial support with my missing one A ( when most of the places requires 8A's to apply for any supports available ) , dan dari situ aku mula untuk menerima dan belajar yang , kalau if its meant for me , Allah surely ease that way for me , and looking at almost half sejuta punya pharmacy courses over the sea that time , with six siblings yang semua tengah belajar , I guess it wasn't meant to be. Sikit pun sebenarnya takde rasa terkilan tu , sebab lepas SPM actually banyak ajar aku untuk assimilate dalam kepala yang rezeki tu rahsia Allah. 

Many times kita kena ajar diri yang selalu ada rezeki orang lain dalam rezeki kita. And kita kena ingat yang rezeki tu tak tertakluk pada duit semata , rezeki include your understanding in something , your wisdom towards something , or any kelebihan yang kau ada , even kekurangan is indeed rezeki , but the illustration maybe selalu berbentuk financial.  Like giving coins dekat orang yang duduk dekat pasar ke. Tolak tepi isu tipu ke sindiket ke apa , sebab bila kita nak bagi , bagi je , isu sindiket tipu ke segala bagai tu urusan dia dengan Dia. InsyaAllah tak rugi bersedekah. Dan berkongsi ni sekali lagi tak tertakluk pada duit semata , berkongsi ilmu juga membahagiakan. Kadang aku sangat suka bila masuk satu situasi where someone wanted help to clarify on certain issues , tak kisahlah bentuk ilmiah ke masalah ke , aku sangat suka seekkan jawapan for that matter sebab indirectly it seems beneficial to you and the very least , kongsi bahu virtually , kongsi pandangan baca whatssap pepanjang en. Because after all , later in akhirat your anggota badan would be the one yang do the talking part , and wasn't it a good feeling bila tangan kita kata , dulu tangan ni selalu korek purse dia bagi syiling dekat si polan si polan , mulut ni selalu bagi nasihat baik baik dekat orang. 

Even the act of sharing good vibes of words , kongsi potongan ayat Allah , like how delightful it feels like to came across that words , and maybe apa yang kau rasa tu , bila kau kongsi , dia punya kesan refleksi sama pada yang membaca. And at the same time , ( like magic ) , somebody out there mungkin tadi dia fikir no one understands him / her , tapi tetiba baca your thoughts yang you share somewhere on your fb / twitter / insta walls ke kan , he or she might feel like there's more reasons to stay alive because somebody out there understands him / her , pernah sama sama duduk in the same shoes , and overtimes , berkongsi insyaAllah membahagiakan

Maybe that's why I blog. Because I want to share. Mungkin ada masa its for myself to reflect so later aku akan look back and mungkin gelak sendiri , like I've been there , in that tough position , so anything ahead insyaAllah He'll ease through. 

Tadi aku baca balik emails , yea banyak from strangers asking mostly about INTEC , and adalah some people came up with their personal thoughts and problems , which sebenarnya blog ni a very good medium for me to connect with strangers , and indirectly knowing more people yang incredibly sangat baik , because usually at the very end of the long and shorts essay , most of them will say " Good luck akak " or " Good luck awak " or " Saya doakan akak berjaya " , these people you never meet in real life , ( I met some of them in real life after connected through mails heee ) , yang cuma came across your alam maya yang mungkin menipu banyak ( like me banyak cakap dalam blog ) ( in real life ... MASIH BANYAK BERCAKAP WHY hahhaha ) , people give prayers , and these prayers insyaAllah jadi sebab for the blessings I'm blessed with today. 

So berkongsilah apa jua cara  , insyaAllah membahagiakan :)
dan insyaAllah , berkongsi tak pernah membuatkan kita kurang , miskin or anything , BECAUSE , GOOD THINGS HAPPEN WHEN YOU SHARE :)


sumber image : The Google who shares a lot. 
Quick update - sebab aku rasa nak spill something , maybe its the urge of wanting to write. Tapi takde benda pun rasa nak share sangat because most of the time kalau aku malas tulis blog , aku tulis atas instagram ngeh.

Sekarang busy with revisions. Sungguh sungguh punya susahhhhhh nak grab balik kerajinan tu , bersilat ( figuratively ) jugak nak melawan kemalasan ke'slow'an tu. And menangis sebenarnya nak paksa diri untuk rajin ngeh.

I MISS HOME. Guess what?

Malaysia , in 34 days weeee ! bye for now. Doakan che' rajin .


Lets not jump into conclusion !

Heyyyaa , I was in the middle of sleepless night because the sleep cycle gotten worse. Mana tak nya , though I restrain myself from sleeping after asar , kadang tu collapse gak nak tunggu maghrib berzaman nak nak sekarang siang lagi panjang dari malam. Dulu setakat baca theory je , waktu musim panas siang lagi panjang and nyata masa dekat Malaysia kau susah nak brain benda cenggini sebab Malaysia kira macam proportionate sepanjang tahun , maghrib pukul 7++ dekat Semenanjung. Which kalau mak kata " Hah balik before maghrib , kita tahu maghrib tu area pukul 7 " , lain aaa kot dekat sini , ikut jadual , ending May , Maghrib pukul 9++ ( menangis guwe ) pastu subuh pukul 3 lebih , ( not yet in the peak of summer ngeh ) ( nangis lagi ) ( apa ada hal , kau balik Malaysia yang ada proportionate timing k summer nanti )

( tadi aku cari image lets not jump into conclusion , pastu ada image tu kata " Just because you heard its Islam , is it fair to jump into conclusion ? : Hahhh islam , terrorist ! " sakit kan accusation tu? Fair enough?

So these days seperti hari hari sebelum , banyak sangat news pages yang aku subscribe atas timeline facebook , itu semua kerana dasar page page yang suruh like page dia sebab nak baca one article so I end up liking like banyak gilaaaa berita tah sumber mana mana. And menjadi kebiasaan aku prone untuk melihat dahulu how people respond to the news , the comments , saja , nak tengok perangai manusia. Then bila dah baca like berkajang comments , aku akan proceed untuk baca the news sambil struggle nak click X pada kucing yang berjoget tetiba tatkala kau tengah nak menelaah news tu wakakkaka sabar je I love cats but exception  aku benci kucing joget tu .( tolonglah kata anyone had experienced the same thing pleaseee haha )

And you know what looking through comments  , sedih sangat. Tengok how judgemental people could be. Seeing people judging a situation without enough information about it. 

In the recent case involving the ICL students ( an example on the recent news on my timeline ) , the math genius was arrested for possessing sexual abusing videos which according to the news , he admitted all the wrongs. Okay set aside this thing , then baca pulak comment Malaysian ( secara specific ) , ada tu " Kau takde agama ke ? ( mencarut ) " " Bazir duit rakyat bla bla ( mencarut lagi ) " and many more harsh words yang kau tak boleh nak bayangkan , kalau family dia baca , benda tu akan menambahkan luluhnya perasaan mereka. You know what , when you can't make it any better with your harsh words , diam itu lebih baik. Dan untuk kau kau yang cakap " Kau ni takde agama  ke " then mencaci tak ingat dunia , kau tahu tak - orang yang memaknai agama dia , apa jua agama sekalipun , yang faham agama , yang kira beragama sangat tu , they don't do things like you do. 

Can't you guys don't just straight jumping into the conclusion? 

Berhenti sejenak. Fikir. Open your heart with husnuzhon ( bersangka baiklah ) , kadang kau taktahu pun the struggle that he might faced. Because for me its a sickness , dia tak bodoh tahu , mesti ada masa , mesti punya ada masa yang he struggled distingushing the good and the bad yang kau takkan pernah tahu how he struggle untuk keluar from that darkness. And bersangka baiklah when he was arrested , its the best solution Allah boleh bagi dekat dia to get out from the miseries. 

Its never right for anyone to believe sebulat bulatnya any kind of news. News agency are doing their works , they need catchy info's they need to highlight things which attracts us , sekalipun satu benda yang diaorang siarkan tu betul , there's always room for exaggerating things . Takkan kita nak salahkan news for doing their jobs? Berbaliklah pada diri sendiri , you must remember yang ITS NEWS FOR GOD SAKE ! News might be bias , news might be pointing to this one person to take all the blame , janganlah mudah termakan dengan news-memakan ni ngeh. 

I don't remember who say this but once in the past " Info is info and for it to become our knowledge , kita kena selidik yang betul selidik " ( aku rasa benda ni dulu aku dengar dalam context belajar , like for an info / cikgu ajar ke , cuma akan jadi sekadar info kalau kau tak revise balik , sebab to make it your knowledege , kau kena revise masuk sekali understanding semua ) , and if you're spreading an info tanpa selidik , its like spreading benda yang tak sure and its like giving doubts in many hearts , which kau ni sebenarnya kan bersalah la for triggering that doubts to people . 

I once asked someone , " If we're defending someone and kita taktahu pun dia ni bersalah atau tak , even by feelings takleh nak tahu , sekalipun kita rasa dengan feeling yang dia ni hmm muka macam bersalah je , how? " 

The answer is yet so simple , " Kita takde dekat that scene , so there's a big room for assumptions , kita tak boleh nak straight jump into conclusion yang hahh muka dia macam pijak semut pun tak mati , mungkin penyek hahah then tak bersalah " 

and you know whats even more " What stands in court tak semestinya benar " when courts are supposed to upheld justice. Banyak banyak mahkahmah , mahkamah mana paling adil? Shah Alam ke Melaka? Tak , mahkamah Allah. Sebab what stands in courts might affected by admissions of evidence , which evidence , ada masa kita sendiri tak boleh nak verify the validity of evidences. Its human system anyways , so kau tak boleh tolak the assumptions of lacks in any sense sekalipun kau claim it was done by professionals. So nak cakapnya yang its never right untuk kita straight jump into conclusion just because kau baru baca article bla bla yang kata anak makcik joymanhuxryeths ( hahah kena cari nama makcik peliks sikit supaya takde kaitan dengan yang hidup dan mati ) bersalah on this and this. 

Suprisingly learning law makes me less judgemental , I read many cases ( nak nak sebab exam dah dekat ) , ada banyak je kes yang kau rasa eh tak adilnya kenapa outcome macam ni . Aku taktahulah sampai ke tak mesej this post since I was jumping here and there , tapi I hope it did left something for you to ponder. Bersangka baiklah . Dan bila kau tak mampu nak menyenangkan , jangan menyusahkan. Bayangkan yang kita stood in the place orang yang kau sedap maki berkajang berjela tu , will you be able to take it? The pressure? How about seeing someone you love dearly were put in that kind of pressure? Sakit kot. Kita ni jangan cepat sangat menghukum orang , sebab we're in no position to accuse and blame people , dan kita mungkin tak diletakkan lagi dalam position dihukum , hanya kerana a set of catchy article . Kau tahu kan bumi ni sfera pastu dia pusing pusing? Macam hidup la , satgi kena kat diri sendiri sebab roda dah berpusing dan sekarang kau berada di bawah?

Berlapang dadalah , dalam setiap pekara.

Bila bicaramu tak mampu menyenangkan , akan selalu menyakitkan , bukahkah diam itu lebih baik , lebih senang. Aku tak mampu nak menyekat hak bersuara kau , tapi eh wait a sec , kau rasa rasa dari mana datang hak bersuara kau tu?