#RoadToUK Its either mixed or confused feelings.

The internet wasn't that good each time I am trying to spill something here , 

So I guess its been a long time since I am able to write something a bit personal - these days I've been writing about all those little guidance regarding visa and stuff. 

sedang bermalas malasan seperti kucing dan berharap semuanya dimudahkan. 

Earlier I went to an open house - its raya open house and we're now in Zulkaedah. ( month after Syawal in the Hijrah calendar ) .  And my father's bestfriend was asking 

" Berapa hari lagi nak fly " 
tengok jam . 30 / 8 dah hari ni hmm start date 22nd September , hmm 18 kot ( tak masuk kan perkiraan? haha abaikan )
" Aaaa dalam 18 - 20 hari ? "
then he pointed his fingers dekat makanan ( there's laksam , nasi kerabu and all kelantan food ) 
" Aaa makan semua tu , nanti kat oversea dah tak rasa "

it hits me when I said " Aaa dalam 18 - 20 hari " , me myself realized how time flies 5 tahun dekat Selandar , 2 tahun dekat Intec , those 20 days would definitely fly real fast. 

Still , I'm kinda lost , confused and  having mixed feelings. 

its either
MIXED.
CONFUSED.
LOST

Visa belum settle. 9/9 baru appointment . And one thing kept bugging my head and it scares me whenever it came across my mind. 

Sigh. 

Allah , mudahkanlah. 

Next week pre depature ( you'll get your blazer and allowances ) , all these things kuatkan lagi thought yang " Its happening soon " " Its happening REAL SOON GIRL "

Looking back at those days kita random random cerita - sambil meeting JPA main pass pass notebook acah acah macam skype conversation " You kat Manchester sejuk tak? " - " I kat Cardiff dengan ehem ehem ( sila masukkan apa apa nama ) " and we laughed padahal masing masing tengah tak senang duduk dalam hall luls . Itu cerita awal semester 4. Now semester 4 sudahpun melabuhkan tirai. Anxiety result Alevels dah reda - timeline pun dah takde siapa sembang result - kalau tidak scroll timeline macam baca sets of cerita seram. 

Gelak sendiri. 

Though lots of stuff dalam kena , everything is about moving forward to next stage and all , still dalam kepala terfikir nak jejak kaki dekat Selandar jumpa cikgu cikgu yang tanpa mereka , I don't think I'd be where I;m standing now. Me sounds cliche? But thats the reality.  Nak jumpa adik adik , bagi some appropriate words supaya tak ulang my combos of bad studying attitudes masa dekat sekolah. And nak juga acah acah throwback bila mana jejak kaki masuk surau - pastu bayangkan those days lepak lepak cerita hal dunia dalam rumah Allah ( uhuuu macam terbakar je diri sendiri ) 

Drama betul. 

Nak jugak jejak kaki dekat Convent . Nak jumpa cikgu cikgu . Nak jumpa library yang dulu aku selalu malas nak bertugas as librarian. Nak tengok padang , dulu dekat Selandar , tak dibuat orang lari lari dekat padang time rehat ; semua lari cop tiang semua buat dekat primary school. Nak tengok kantin ; sebab rasanya macam dah lama tak nampak kantin sekolah ( motifnya tujuan ) 

Pada masa yang sama ,

Tengah kira kira duit nak beli wishlist yang panjang. Setakat ni alhamdulillah documents semua insyaAllah dah settle and dah dibuat copy untuk dibawa terbang + untuk simpanan keluarga. Tinggal wishlist macam belacan , ikan bilis dan kengkawan. Benda yang tak jumpa dekat UK - tengah brainstorm habis habisan dalam kepala. Banyaknya kerja. Memang kenkadang tu rasa nak give up sebab macam Ya Allah kenapa susah sangat. Tapi kalau nak give up pun , dah final stage , jadah apa nak berundur sekarang. 


tarik telinga sendiri. 

Pastu pasal rumah dekat Cardiff nanti , macam belum positively moving forward , tapi sebabkan aku ni cuba nak menjadi positif dengan rencana Allah , aku serahkan 99% pada Allah untuk mudahkan perjalanan setiap urusan , dari Melaka - ke KLIA - dan insyaAllah ke bumi Cardiff soon. 1 % dan kurang , usaha aku untuk usahakan rumah mana nak duduk , jujur walaupun muka ni nampak confident , hanya Tuhan yang tahu betapa serabutnya neuron kepala - bertapa gelisah organ hati. Aicewahh. Takpe Anis Najwa , yang penting confident. 

Allah pun janji , ustaz ustaz dalam corong radio pun banyak berpesan tentang adab adab berdoa / berhajat , kalau berhajat , yakin yang Allah tunaikan. YAKIN. aihh kata pegang rukun iman , percaya qada' qadar , jangan takat cakap je , laksanakan. * ketuk diri sendiri *

Setakat ni belum lagi bayang nanti suasana dekat KLIA macam mana , mungkin sebab ada bayangan visa depan mata. Dang ! 


Dah usha usha nak upgrade dumbphone ke smartphone.
Belum fikir nanti nak bawak ikan kering ke tak .
Barang dah mula dicampak dalam luggage. 
Dah kira kira baju kurung mana yang nak diangkut. 


.
..
...

Cinta mana nak ditinggalkan. 

Aww snap !

#RoadToUK Visa Oh Visa ( Online Application )

Visa Oh Visa sounds like a deep sigh I supposed. Well so read it in a deep sigh. 

Pre Script : Sebelum membaca , harap beristighfar dahulu kerana points saya lompat dari sini ke sana seperti saya melompat dari  bas T ( Transnasional ) ke kereta kawan A ( Aishah ) ke kereta kawan N ( Nazira ) ke kereta kawan A lain ( Aliff ) ke kereta kawan D ( Dini ) dan akhir sekali lompat masuk well not literally hopping haha ke kereta N & N ( Encik Nazari dan Puan Nurul Inawati ) keh keh  untuk completekan perjalanan saya dari Melaka ke Putrajaya ke Melaka semula dalam satu hari. ( if you my A, N, A, D friends reading this , thank you for the day ! _ moga Allah mudahkan perjalanan kalian ) 

So yesterday ( Read Thursday 26th of August ) was quite a hectic day for me , it was unplanned but I couldn't wait any longer for my Financial Affidavit ( FA ) which supposedly I'm expecting JPA to send it by post to my house since I live like quite not that far ( Melaka - Putrajaya ) but having no one to bring you here and there except for pakcik pakcik pengangkutan awam , Melaka - Putrajaya dirasakan seperti Melaka - Perligh hahahaha hiperbolanya penipuaan. 

kamera 2 mega pixel dumbphone kesayangan. Ambik gambar pun kena sorok sorok wahaha. 

But still I need to understand the sponsor menguruskan like hundreds of us , itu baru INTEC , belum campur dari kolej persediaan lain , so the only option left for me is to go to Putrajaya and get my FA. 

So in case the one who read takdok idea apa benda FA ni? FA , atau nama panjangnya Financial Affidavit is a document ( a piece of paper I can say ) with list of fees - expenses sponsored by your sponsor , in my case its Public Service Department Malaysia ( JPA ) . Its a kind of perjanjian dari pihak sponsor for your university yang they will pay the amount stated ( kira macam kita takyahlah nak keluarkan duit kita to pay any kind of university fees , wohoooo kalau kena bayar dulu , mahu menangis lapan tahun 3 bulan )

so basically my course fee ( tak termasuk allowance ) is GBP 13500 which kalau darab dengan duit Malaysia ( kali 5 I guess) and for that big amount , I personally thank , deep inside thank Malaysia citizens + my parents ( all the taxpayers in the country )  for helping to support my study soon . I don't know how to repay each and everyone of you , but the least I can promise is to spur my whole efforts for my study and insyaAllah I'll be returning back home and serve for the country. I always keep it to myself since the start of Alevels dulu , yang kalau I use the money sambil lewa tak pergi kelas belajar main main , its kinda same as I'm eating riba' ( sebab kita dapat duit untuk something yang kita tak usahakan ) and it'll be obvious yang diri sendiri berdosa bukan hanya pada diri sendiri tapi pada rakyat Malaysia keseluruhannya. So , I'll definitely try my very best Malaysian !

Moving on to the next phase of Visa Oh Visa.

So note that if you're going to study in UK for a period of time ( in my case its 3 years ) , you'll be needing a visa. To do a visa , we need to apply it online first untuk secure appointment dates and stuff. So apa yang kena ada nak buat visa ni ? ( kemain drama soalan kau haha ) 

You'll be needing a CAS Statement ( Confirmation of Acceptance for Study ) , FA ( Financial Affidavit if you're sponsored ) and passport ( termasuk passport passport lama in a period of 10 years * kalau ada * ) . 

Camne nak dapat benda benda atas ni? Its from University and Sponsors. And lets say kalau yang baca ni tengah buat Alevels semua , you guys need to wait laaa sampai habis Alevels bro , tengah tengah Alevels takdok university nak offer kau CAS ) - BE PATIENT , hakak pun dulu tunggu Alevels dua tahun habis + 2 bulan tunggu result . Sesungguhnya 2 tahun berlalu dengan pantas sepantasnya , jangan risau , kita ni memang cepat tua ( wakaka tetiba ) 

Semalam pergi Putrajaya , tak sampai 1 jam tunggu ( which apparently 30 minutes camtu ) dapat dah FA , I got it real fast compared to yang baru datang and baru nak buat. How? HEHE , last week I've faxed my CAS and UO ( Unconditional Offer letter - also request from University ) and email them ( like 2 3 kali jugak - perempuan yang menulis ni memang insecure tahap tinggi ) , so kira bila kat sana they've settled your FA so yeah. 

Ada banyak detail dalam online application yang kena isi - which it include personal details , travel history and details on financial dekat UK nanti ( that one through time you'll face it and insyaAllah takde apa masalah ) , kalau cam cuak cuak gak isi entah betul tidak , you can go to Mabecs ( Agent yang uruskan pasal UK ni from your personal statement masa nak apply uni sampailah ke tahap apply visa ni and its all free - maybe sebab JPA/INTEC dah bayarkan their service kot idk I am not sure ) . Mabecs office situated betul betul tepi highway at Petaling Jaya ( ini mintaklah tolong Waze dan adik beradik untuk membawa anda ke sini ) . Since I went there with my friend's car , so I don't really feel the adventure naik LRT lols. Nearest LRT kata google is LRT Asia Jaya , a 12 minute walking distance. ( which idk google jalan kaki berapa laju per minute lols ) 

melepak menunggu turn isi online application ( ni semasa belum stress maka bolehlah silang kaki gaya boss wahaha tak lawak najwa tak lawak please jangan gelak ) - gambar belas ihsan kamera 2 megapixel

Nanti dah habis isi and submit semua , you'll need to choose a date for appointment. Which this is by your luck haha , isi awal dapatlah awal , isi lambat dapatlah lambat cenggitu , tapi Visa ni ada je kalau your case very urgent nak fly lagi 8 hari ke , they give option for that which kena bayar lebih sikit. ( lebih banyak kalau anda tidak mempunyai income tetap zzz seperti saya zzz lagi ) . 

And kalau nak securekan masa and tarikh appointment visa ni , you need to like pay your booking within 3 hours. Contoh kita book date 9/10/2020 ( kah kah motipnyaa nak letak 2020 ) , 9.00 am , kita book waktu tu pukul 7.00 malam 25/9/2020 , in order to get that 9/10 9.00 am punya appointment , last payment to secure would be pukul 10.00 malam 25/9 tu. Kalau tak , your booking tu cancel and you need to choose perhaps other dates ( kalau time tu peak time semua nak fly , memang sekelip mata 9/10 tu boleh fully booked ) - eh paham tak analogi kuasa tinggi ni? Haha. 

To fill in your online application always make sure your credit cards , not yours aaa tapi anyone yang you'll be using his/her card , please do make sure the card boleh pakai and sebaiknya adalah bersama pemegang kad ketika waktu pembayaraan. Sebab semalam I'm almost masuk fasa hilang akal 23 minit haha sebabnya I'm contacting my parents through phone sebab iols pergi Mabecs sendirian dia Petaling Jaya and my mum dekat Melaka sibuk buat kertas soalan peperiksaan - untuk mintak detail kad kredit. AND SEMUA PAYMENT UNSUCCESSFUL MENANGIS AKU HAIH , dari appointment 5/9 cancel pergi 8/9 pastu payment problem sebab dah try banyak kali ( so dia locked takleh bayar , pastu kena redo balik application ) , last last dapat secure date 9.9.2014 9 pagi. Fiuh. 

#IniBukanKebetulanTapiTokdir 

Harga buat visa ni differs from year to year. Dulu tanya senior in 2012 , its RM 1000 , which dia sempat buat before September its less than RM 1000. I paid USD 530 for the Visa ( well its not me paying haha ) which roughly darab tiga RM 1600 duit Malaysia. **ANDDDD You may claim this money with your sponsor. Termasuk dengan tb test ( which dalam RM 210 - 250 ikut resit ) 

To process visa , they usually took 2 - 3 weeks ( as informed ) to process. So lets just say nak fly awal tapi visa mungkin lambat siap , you guys can opt to pay for Priority Visa which they process within 3 -5 working days , which semalam I tengok harga dia RM 580 + ( I'm opting for this too tapi this one can bayar masa appointment tu , kira macam boleh bayar cash kat kaunter and say " I want to do Priority Visa / Express Visa lols  ) or bayar online ( pening lagi haku ) 

And kalau sesiapa yang insyaAllah soon flying tu and non of family members ada credit card , usahakanlah untuk ada sorang with credit card sebabnya when it involves transaction luar dalam negara ( for purpose nak fly ni ) , they use credit card. Ada je yang pakai debit card ( card yang terus tolak duit dalam akaun ) tapi urusan dia akan jadi macam leceh sedikit. I understand how it feels like kalau family ada yang tak mampu ada credit card semua , sama sama doa dan usaha Allah mudahkan setiap urusan kita insyaAllah ) 

SO MY POINTS JUMBLING UP EY? YESSZAA SEBAB SEMALAM KEPALA AKU PUN JUMBLE UP GAK SEBENARNYA MIAHAHAHA my caps lock means nada stress dan tetiba rasa nak gelak gak sebab stress sangat nanti many wrinkles on faces lols tetiba. bunyi cam gilaaa kan? * cries sambil gelak lap air mata palsu * 

Post script : Kesabaran anda sepanjang berurusan dengan mahkluk bernama Visa ni amatlah diharapkan berada dalam level yang paling tinggi . sekian. 

One tough week with pretty good ending. UK in a month !

Hello , rasanya takde blog post pun orang dah paham what I am trying to say here , well the tittle above portray it all , oh yeah twitter taught me a lot in terms of summarizing your points ngeh apa kaitan twitter dengan ayat ni pun aku tak paham. haha. 

Its been such a tough week , really tough at least for me yang Allah dah bagi kesempatan bernafas selama 20 tahun , bukan tak pernah kena uji tapi ujian kali ni rasa macam lebih berat dari biasa - dan untuk suruh diri sendiri stay calm , cool , ini semua ujian Ilahi memang tak makan aaa segala macam nasihat dan mantera. * uhuii siap nak mantera diri sendiri pehal * rolling on the floor. 

WHY?

Because its ALEVELS RESULT WEEK , siapa yang hidup takde anxiety terhadap perkataan result ni memang wa tabik awal awal , but my kind of anxiety is orang yang nak cepat cepat get it done and I'll feel better , saya tak tergolong dalam manusia yang boleh tunggu 13.57 jam untuk check result sendiri. This time around anxiety dia antara sama level dengan nak ambik result SPM or sikit tinggi , I'm not the first one to see my own result , I ask somebody else to see it for me ( because obviously Najwa and waiting is never in an equation ) . Well imagine aaa eh , result keluar dekat INTEC pukul 12.00 , boleh tengok dapat university pukul 3.00 petang waktu Malaysia ( sebab UK pukul 8.00 pagi , and boleh check result online pukul 4.00 petang . Faham tak ketidak fahaman aku terhadap timing timing sebegini rupa? 

Sebenarnya dah ingat ingat lupa dah perasaan ambik result sebab the hell water come after the result kinda overshadowing the memories - well alhamdulillah , rezeki Allah nak bagi , I got 13 /15 ( alhamdulillah lepas requirement both university and sponsor ) which tipulah kalau aku tak kecewa , sikitlah sikitlah tapi itu yang baik Allah nak bagi. 13 means A for Law , B for Economics * nangiskan yang ni please * , anddddddd * drumroll * PENDING for English. 

Ehee gelabah tak? * rasa nak tampar diri sendiri pun ada ni * 

Our class English result was pending. I'm gonna act maturely regarding the issue walaupun memang sebenarnya gelabah ayam English pending - alhamdulillah the college settle this thing fast sebabnya by the time I writing this , I'm holding an unconditional offer from Cardiff University , South Wales , London reading ( read pursuing ) in LLB Law. * insert firework , mercun pop pop pun boleh gak *
Moga ini yang terbaik dari Allah :)

Which I got a B for English . Alhamdulillah , baik dah tu :) * pujuk diri sendiri * . Result week menjadikan aku manusia yang merasakan weekend is not pleasing at all sebab kau nak tengok progress pending result - manusia yang pi refresh email everytime she's on the line - yang tetiba je peka UK pagi ke petang , siang ke malam - dan juga menjadikan seorang hamba Allah yang foresee hikmah ujian Allah ni sebenarnya mendekatkan .  Mungkin sebab tulah punyai agama itu fitrah manusia , sebab dia akan selalu berbalik pada Dia . ( which we shouldn't practice this , bila susah je baru rasa nak patah balik - susah senang biarlah berpaut pada tali Allah )


Hello tough girl ! * she consider self praising is a vital component for an inner motivation * haha 

I did cry , A LOT memikirkan result yang pending ni , pastu datang pulak list JPA yang tunjuk nama nama budak yang fly , and you're not there because obviously grade tak sufficient , seeing people progressing with all kinds of visa , at the same time tak boleh langsung nak jawab whenever mak ayah tanya " How was it" , dalam hati " How was it what * cries * "

Maybe the way I wrote it down sounds pretty exciting stories " Najwa tak stress pun cerita kau " lols. But to me , its a tough week , seriously very tough for me to handle , sebab banyak benda yang jadi adalah luar bidang kuasa kau and patience is virtue. The key is patience. 

so begitulah cerita yang tak berapa nak thrill mungkin tapi I finally can feel happy and tak spread negative vibes. Terima kasih untuk pihak yang tak putus putus mendoakan , to both my parents yang non stop bagi moral support - constantly checking on my emotion and progress , my family members , my friends and mungkin jugak anyone dari pelusuk alam yang mungkin baca tweet tweet perempuan depressed ini * rujuk diri sendiri * pastu dia cam tergerak hati nak doakan . Terima kasih sangat sangat. 

And for those who're reading up to this line , doakan kemudahan urusan phase phase lepas ni , with all the visas and siblings - I don't know how tough it could be , tapi harapnya mudah insyaAllah.

p/s : I sent off my bestfriend last week , she's pursuing Actuarial Science at University Of Iowa , United States , take care my Ain Syuhadah mih mih mih , wanted to do a post tapi dah buat short post dekat instagram so yeah ( Najwa being exceptionally sweet yipee )

So finally I can say , insyaAllah UK in a month ! 

My Biro Tatanegara ( BTN ) and Journey Of A Muslim ( JOM ) week.

So marilah bersama virtually lap lap blog usang aicewah haha , sumpahlah dalam kepala ni nak tulis post , like Syawal post - Ramadhan reflect post ; And yeah at the end semua reflect dalam diri sendiri ditambah dengan ketidak adaan capaian laman sesawang , so yeah yeah ( sambil ala ala kibas  tangan gaya emoticon LINE * cincailah cincailah * )

Makanya hari ni , I'll sum up a seven day in a week hidup dekat camp , which I personally think hidup macam perlarian which takdelah perlarian mana ( wakaka jangan sedih sangat diri sendiri please ) - serious both camp stated above SERIOUSLY WORTH the time invested , which masa ni bukannya milik kita pun , tapi pinjaman dari Allah and kita ni cuma seharusnya menggunakan masa masa yang dibagi ni dengan benda benda yang berfaedoh ( read faedah ) .

pre script : // I have like limited pictures sorry phone dumbphone memang buat dengar lagu , buat calls and messages je , and kamera sekadar 2 mega pixel so yeah kalau ada gambar pun belas ihsangg orang // 

BTN is kinda wajib , you have no choice and leisurely say NO to BTN , its a must course for JPA sponsored student who're going to overseas and some other sponsors - despite berperang dua ideologi pengalaman manusia lain  * ye ye nak pakai perkataan ideologi * tarbiyah BTN wahaha *  " bosannya BTN " dan " OMG BTN seronok no worries " , when I personally experience it , I personally love the camp.

BTN ,

I can never deny yang I felt burdened bila sedia maklum yang BTN tu seminggu , and bila datang je Kem Ulu Kenas Kuala Kangsar , Perak tu * its my first time there so excited ala ala kera tu mungkin ada keh keh  * , my first impression wasn't that bad , kem cantik alhamdulillah pastu two four seven dengar bunyi sungai which right behind our dormitory. Then we got the tentative and I saw like " whut with this NINE LDK LOLS apa sembilan banyak sangat ni " which bila dah lalu ke sembilan sembilan LDK , kejap je rupanya sembilan ldk ni , which yeah cliche , time flies fast haa. 

Rough ideas for those who're seeking what BTN is all about ;

BTN ni I guess it differs to what kind of group you're , contohnya as for me , its Program Transformasi Mahasiswa Ke Luar Negara and we have more indoors than outdoors and generally we had like 4 Wacana Minda , in a simpler way ceramah la . So yeah expect la anything when it comes to ceramah haha. And we had like LDK's with the facilitators and some physical activities + pengisian rohani like tazkirah lepas maghrib and it basically ends pukul 11 lebih camtu everyday. And ada exam at the end of the camp , yeah exam k exam

Through the five days , you'll learn more about your own country , learning the history - and preparing yourself to be an ambassador for your country . Kira lepas ni kalau orang tanya " Kenapa sayang Malaysia ?" I can sum a karangan lah kot selain mengatakan Malaysia ni ada Rafflesia , * motifnya jawapan * . One and a half year duduk intec sibuk belajar history why Korea split into two and how Vietnam end up as a communist country , tang negara sendiri ( dulu adalah waktu SPM tapi kan dulu SPM belajar nak taknak memang sebab nak ace exam ) lost .

And the outcome , now I feel like bertambah jugak knowledge on various area especially about the country and takdelah rasa kosong untuk jadi duta kecil negara di tempat orang nanti insyaAllah . Now that I value " MERDEKA ' is not just a simple phrase that you utter masa sambutan hari kemerdekaan sekolah , deep down you should feel grateful that our previous nenek moyang dan generasi sebelum kita did fight for our indipendence , which certainly not easy sebab simplest analogy - untuk kita sendiri merdeka daripada anasir anasir tak sihat ( you list it down ) pun tak mudah , thats individually , how about seeking for independence for the whole nation yang dah dijajah for 446 years . Definitely our almost 57 years of merdeka shall be something yang kita kena hargai dan jaga. 

After a week of BTN , melayan my super endless falling for someone - which eventually its one sided miahahahahahhahahahahaahendlesslaughinglikeforeveralonebutIdontcare * hehe yele tu tak kisah starlight diri sendiri sikit zzzzz 

I went to another camp , Journey Of A Muslim ( JOM ) dekat camp El Azhar Morib , Banting. Frankly kalau ikut rasa hati penat seminggu ni , I sometimes in between feel yang macam malas je nak pergi JOM ni , because its by choice and takde pun apa harm kalau tak pergi. Looking at some of my friends sorang sorang tarik diri from the camp , memang rasa nak menarik diri bersama dan menghabiskan masa basuh baju dan bergolek di rumah. 

TAPI ,

I had no idea about flying. Though sebenarnya faktor utama ' NO IDEA' tu sebab result tak keluar lagi makanya feeling nak tahu tak berapa nak sampai. Triggered by factor sanak saudara mara jpa ( hambar sangat sila cuba lagi anis najwa ) - yang banyak kali remind diri ni 

" Anis kena ready mental fizikal "
" Anis kena get ready cabaran dekat luar sana "

Then I was like , k ready , k , but certainly I never knew whether I am ready or not - maybe sebab taktahu dekat mana nak start , so I assume maybe nak kena ready dari segi masak kot sebab apparently takkan nak bawak Puan Nurul Inawati sampai UK en ( so telaah la beberapa resepi melayu yang kot kot nanti mengidam nak makan kat sana sebab western food dah tahap master dah kah kah tipunyaaaa ) , so I considered that as a step for me getting ready for the challenges outside there. 

BUT , JOM had successfully changed my ' ready ' perspective. A wider , foreseeing the challenges that I'll face outside there. 

Sumpah rasa macam jahil kerdil in combos bila tengok akak akak even yang sama baya had like wider knowledge and deeper understanding towards the religion and certainly they portray it physically , and at some points rasa macam terpukul sangat sebab at the age of 20 , being born as muslim , I can't be the answer bilamana orang tanya . what is islam? Because for me the simplest answer would be how you portray it despite kita explain the piles of islam and all , and I believe I would be betraying my own religion if I answer the question with " Islam is me " and I am not behaving like one. 

How I end up thinking like this? Langsung takde any kind of force from the seniors like other camps did yang psycho psycho semua , which allied dengan kata kata Allah , tiada paksaan dalam beragama , its just me myself wondering about the questions I listed ( yang selalu student oversea encountered ) . How can I answer them kalau diri sendiri tak in deep kenal pencipta , tak in deep faham and hayati balm dari Allah which is Al Quran. 

I guess JOM did spark the start , the inner me in a journey as a muslim , to seek for the purpose of every aspects I am doing in life . Like 

Kenapa Islam?
Kenapa pakai tudung?
Kenapa solat?
Kenapa jaga ikhtilat?
And all the why the whats. Which jawapan dia selain daripada " Allah suruh " . InsyaAllah I am going to spend masa cuti ni to seek for the answers and mula untuk faham and hayati mukjizat Allah. 

Despite all the spiritually changes ( I can't say its already a change but soon or even now its better ) , I did learn about khuf ( which sebenarnya macam samar samar lagi tapi akan diusahakan pemahamannya ) and experiencing solat dekat tanah and get to know macam macam benda like ingridients makanan halal haram . 

Ada satu slot ni , nama dia Pencarian di Luar Negara * kot * , where a muallaf give the talk , * sorry my bad I couldn't recall his exact name but from what I could catch , nama dia Haji Nicholas ) . I always fancy people who convert and able to understand the religion better than the people yang dilahirkan sedia ada muslim. He converted as muslim at the age of 18 in America and  he was asked what triggered him? The only thing that he answered " Hidayah Allah " . From the start of his talk sampai habis , dari ngantuk yang macam ya Allah ngantuk takleh cerita , jadi segar sepanjang talk and I am just like amazed alhamdulillah. 

Moga Allah merahmati hidup dia dan keluarga . 

One thing that really makes me think yang JOM is super different unlike the other camps yang I pernah pergi ( dari zaman selandar ke zaman post alevels ) was the first night I am there. I went there a bit late than others sebab pi singgah rumah nenek basuh baju . Nak dipendekkan cerita , I put my bag dekat kawasan brothers , and masuk tang tung tang tung dengar forum perkongsian senior semua then balik tu baru nak carik bilik and angkat beg.  My dormitory / chalet serious dekat gilaaaaaaaa dengan kawasan beg tu which I can just turun tangga , sepelaung macam panggil jiran sebelah rumah je jarak dia. But a senior stopped me from going there alone. Dia sanggup macam siap siap balik pakai tudung semua , pakai kasut and teman pergi ambik beg tu which basically I can do it myself. Pastu I was like sumpahlah macam amazed gila , its a very simple act sebenarnya tapi from that point I know , soon nanti dekat sana , insyaAllah with the muslim being minority there , I would never be left alone , even in the simplest act . 

sebab memang lepas tu masa sharing dengan seniors ( which they put prospective students with the senior dari uni yang sama dalam dorm yang sama ) , they already offer many kinds of help , from free sim card , to houses and hospitality. 

And to sum up the long post , I would say yang BTN is not a boring camp / camp yang dikatakan sebagai 'brain wash ' - because if you're a smart person , you'll be able to distinguish mana ilmu yang nak diguna pakai and mana ilmu yang nak dijadikan sempadan. 

I would also recommend future adik adik yang membaca sampai line ni hehe ( konon ada reader , tolonglah najwa haha ) JOIN JOM PEEPSSSSS ! Serious join ! Hakak ni penat penat balik BTN , sekelumit rasa kecewa pun takde bila guna pakai energy untuk 3 hari 2 malam punya JOM. And if anyone that I met there, I would like to say infinities of thanks for the hospitality and to the seniors , insyaAllah soon senior Cardiff , Kak Naurah , Kak Nini , Kak Haziqah ( dia sebaya tapi went there earlier and I see her as a senior haha ) , Kak Anis , and all great sisterssss , I am so glad Allah make us to meet , Allah gerakkan and kuatkan hati untuk ke JOM , and I already miss the good vibes there * cries * 

Marilah belanja satu dua gambar. :3 


my law kool kidz dekat BTN Kuala Kangsar. I guess up next bila dah gather gambar gambar , there'll be like a special post for wordless monday / tuesday / wednesday / cuak thursday result omaigee aaaaa 


omg taktahulah kenapa dia tak nak clear sangat , gambar pecah lols sorry keluarga B3 , hehe my cardiff , warwick and ...... * isikan tempat kosong * family :D - a wonderful short meet 


so there goes my week in camps !