With hardship, there is always ease.

I find it hardest when it comes to reflecting over sirah in Quran, especially when it revolves around the prophets life. I found it hard sometimes to relate with my life generally. I can even remember the feeling of wanting to finish reading Surah Hud as fast as I can since there's abudance of prophets life story. 

I guess the first prophets' story that enlightens me is the story of Musa a.s , 

Cerita keyakinan ibu Musa yang terpaksa menghanyutkan anaknya setelah mendapat ilham dari Allah. Luluh hati seorang ibu yang baru melahirkan, tapi untuk keselamatan anaknya, Allah ilhamkan pada ibu nabi Musa untuk menghanyutkan Musa di sungai. Yang kalau kita fikir , tak tentu pun anak tu akan lemas/selamat dibawa arus. 

Cerita tentang kelemahan manusiawi Musa yang sangat dekat dengan kita. Aku suka ada satu doa Nabi Musa ni mintak supaya lidah dia dilancarkan dalam menyampaikan kebenaran. Kita sedang berbicara soal Musa yang Allah bagi mukjizat tongkat bertukar menjadi ular, boleh jadi je Nabi Musa lempar tongkat dia, * dan semua orang amazed * tanpa perlu pun beliau untuk berkata kata * sebab apparently Musa seorang yang gagap. Nak kata yang disebalik kekuatan dia yang lain, dia masih meminta Allah untuk bantu dia memperbaiki kelemahan diri dia. 

💕 💕  💕

There's so many things about Musa we can learn about :) But as for today I would love to share about Prophet Yusuf

I guess, if you were about to ask me what's the most popular thing to be attached to Prophet Yusuf , people will be talking about his charm and he's said to be so good looking that Zulaikha and the women in Surah Yusuf were fascinated by his beauty. 

One of the surah that are advised to be practiced / read by pregnant mothers is surah Yusuf. I initially thought the reason why so, is because to have a good looking son/daughter .  But it came to me today , that the meaning of Yusuf itself came from a root word of 'asaf' which means overwhelmed by sorrow. 

And almost the whole content of the surah speaks about the journey of Yusuf a.s , thrown away in a well by his step brothers, then being saved to be put into the prison after the story of Zulaikha and the women who's attracted to Yusuf a.s , and despite being in the prison , he spread the wisdom of the religion to the prisoners , and later became the Minister of Finance of Mesir that time .

The story of his father, Prophet Yaakob ( Jacob) were saddened by the fact that he lost Yusuf. 

all in all, the content of the surah is telling us that everything belongs to Allah. Allah wants to remind us that life in general is not a smooth sailing one and despite the challenges you faced, be like Yusuf and Yaakub that never loose their faith and hopes in Allah. 

After all, WITH hardship, there's always ease. 

Its not AFTER hardship then there's ease. Its WITH. As Allah portrays twice in Surah Insyirah (94) 

And as we speak, we talked earlier about Death. 

I specifically remembered this discussion delivered by Ustaz Muhaimin when he asked the value of a breath? About how we are going to assert value in our life? which makes me realized that perhaps 99% of my life are wasted without values in it. Then he said , give values to your life with zikir , for example 'La illah haillah ha illallah ' which amounts to the world and what's in it . Or with good deeds. 

And as someone who believes in meeting the Al Mighty later , 

should be preparing him/herself , in the best way possible. Be among those who is doing good deeds/ibadah with ehsan ( do it as if Allah is looking at you from every angles ). We might not be among the first forerunners in Islam who fought for Badar, but we can be among those who follows them in a good manner insyaAllah. 

After all , death is reminding us that there's an end to this life. 

for something that definitely have its end , wouldn't it be one of the greatest reminder that we should give our all to prepare for the life after it?

InsyaAllah moga akhirnya pengakhiran yang paling baik insyaAllah 

Husnul Khotimah :)

May we be the witnesses to each other later in the hereafter.

Yang selalu mendoakan , yang selalu memudahkan urusan orang lain, yang meletakkan orang lain dihadapan,

Semoga Allah balas kebaikan kalian selayaknya dan sebaiknya :) * missing Kak Naurah * with my fellow Taman Syurga ameen. 

Mutabaah Amal

I am reminded on how sensitive I can be when it comes to a very selective wordings that only specific group of people with certain level of knowledge would understand , like why don't you use a simpler version so the wisdom of it can be shared to everyone , but later I learned some words are best to be described by its own language , I mean same goes to other languages, like how oppa/orabi ( I am not so sure how it's spelled , which both means 'abang' but in different context and usage. 

So mutabaah amal is basically a check list of your list to do in a day/ week , it mainly focuses on ibadah wise that you want to achieve/forcing yourself to achieve it,  but it can be more than that , like sometimes we can list things like 'call parents once in a week / day' well it really depends. It basically to discipline yourself till it becomes a part of your habit / your life. 

You can construct it yourself , while my general mutabaah amal were discussed among me and my usrahmates , 

For now ,

Its 
Tilawah 4 pages a day 
Puasa 1 time a month 
Dhuha 2 times a day 
Qiyam 1 time a week 
Solat sunat rawatib ( either before or after ) 1 time a day 
Infaq 1 pound a week 
Hafazan 1 ayat a week 

which all of them is the minimum level of it , you can definitely do more , personalized it for yourself and it can be detailed as possible. 

and today I am focusing on the ibadah wise. 

I make puasa once a week for myself as a matter of training for patience. Tomorrow its already Rejab and why not start fasting together, to prepare ourselves for Ramadhan? which is less than two months now. 

Fasting once in a week was my set up mutabaah amal by my usrahmate/kakak usrah last year but it was really hard for me last year , you can tell each time we checked through everyone's mutabaah amal , I was perhaps the worst in the group, who fails to take care of my own list of amal 😢

And as for Dhuha too , I try to do it once a day, and its a real struggle too. 

Mutabaah amal should not be just between you and your kakak usrah , its not a mere list you chase and ticked. Its about training yourself , which what we called 'tarbiyah dzatiyah' , training for you personally . The inner you. 

I think the first time I formally heard about the 'tarbiyah dzatiyah' was from my housemate Ajlaa during the tazkirah session. And recently I heard it during the recent tazkirah ( by Ajlaa as well ) for the juniors a night before a programme held at the local mosque. 

And for me, when there is something , I mean the same thing being reminded again and again whether directly/indirectly to me, it means there must be something about it that I need to take care of. 

I am lacking in many sense especially dealing with my patience and laziness. It includes all the bad feelings and thoughts I had inside me, overtimes what's happening inside me doesn't aligned with what I say to people and it makes me feel so bad, as if you're among the one who never walk her own talk. 

So I am in need of something to self control myself. 

Which to educate myself through the list of the mutabaah amal, fasting is to test you with patience and to be empathy to others and infaq is for you to realize that there's someone's else rezeki in your rezeki.  

No matter how good you were with your words, your relation with your friends/ or with anyone else, you always need to go and recheck again and again your relationship with the Al Mighty. Set of mutabaah amal is in a way to give you a private time with Him , even actually a private time/space for yourself, its a matter of polishing up your qualities spiritually and it can be physically too. 

On the outside , we may choose , I may pick and choose and show what I wished to show to the outside world but on the inside we may not want to see ourselves as empty vessels that makes the most noises. 

and after all , we are going to deal the hereafter on our own, and the world is the place for us to prepare for the best to be presented later and mutabaah amal is one of the way for you to take care of own selves. Just like how you list things to be done in a day / week or even months before. 

Set your own mutabaah amal , start small , it can be the things you're currently doing , 

example : Solat ( at the earliest time possible ) , or a page of Quran a day, or call your parents once a day, or even give salam to one stranger each time you went to the city or even one book to be read in a week/month. 

And the best of all is that you do something small consistently.  And do it with the right intention. This is not about showing things off and it doesn't make you a step holier than anybody else. 

Because at the end of the day 

we're the slaves and the aim of our life is for Him to be pleased with us. 

and because we're are too busy keeping up with the world , its time to give yourself a me time.

after all, we insyaAllah among the people who believe there will be a meeting between you and the Al Mighty in the hereafter , and best to prepare ourselves, just like how you're prepared for interviews/ programme during your life time, to go back to the place where you would live eternally we should prepare more insyaAllah ,

as Allah speaks in the last ayat of Kahfi (18: verse 110 )

Say, "I am only a man like you, to whom has been revealed that your god is one God. So whoever would hope for the meeting with his Lord - let him do righteous work and not associate in the worship of his Lord anyone."


lets bloom like the flowers do! 

Blessings in Cardiff #ChapterOne

Just got back from BBQ Perdana by Malaysian Students' Community Cardiff (MCC) , its held annually but I don't think I was around last year ( I guess I've paid the fees but I am perhaps too lazy to walk to the BBQ ) , but since this is my last year here, I think this is one of the best time to mingle around and savouring all the good foods and warmness Malaysian had to offer. 

But I came home earlier than anyone else as I was looking for a toilet and performing zuhur as well and my adik usrah called me earlier ' Kak Najwaaaa group kita menangggg ! ' excitedly haha ( I was excited too okay , but I was on video call with my mom , aunt and my grandmother, so I need to hide my excitement haha ) 

Yes , we played games in groups just now. There's me , half of my khawlah ( Alyssa, Fatin, Farhana ) as Hasni in charge of taking unofficial photos , while Afiza in the other group , along with Mira and Nadilah in the group. We played TV rosak ( I just realized I am bad with acting haha what happened to my imagination whyyy T.T ) and photo-vangers? 

haha I am not sure what was the name for the second name , but basically they gave us like 9 list of descriptions , so we need to re-enact those in pictures? There's love triangle, showing S, superhuman, 30 seconds of commercial shots, unity ( we did hakka pose haha ) , and many more I couldn't recall. 

The girls are super excited to do all the shots , so I need to keep up with the excitement with ideas haha. 

And looking at them , I know I am indeed blessed with their existence in my life. 

Love triangle ha ha ha 

Superhuman

When it comes to groupings , I guess generally its either we got a very lay back group , seeing the tasks as petty task or either a very energetic group ( so you have the force to be energetic as well ) , I remembered vividly my group for BTN and PMS 2016 , was a very energetic group and the fact that I can still reminisce the positive energy flowing , and this random group definitely made my day.







* * * 
( pause tulis sebab tengok Train to Busan jap pastu emo dengan Dila haha ) 

The reason why this post exist at the first place is actually an appreciation post for my Khawlah dearies. Since the first meet , it still give me chills knowing that I'll be taking care of these girls for this academic year, (one to keep the impression that Haifa left , their previous kakak usrah , my usrahmate last year) and I know each of them had this strong personality , and that makes me feel insecure. 

But its always true though , tak kenal maka tak cinta. 

I would love them to know how happy I am each time we gathered , they excitedly commits to whatever activities I planned for them. You can really tell the difference between just accepting / happily accepting. These girls loves akhbar islami a lot , and they do put thoughts in what they shared , and I am forever grateful for the chance Allah gave me to be with them. 

Mari mendewasa bersama. I wish one day we could gather in the paradise, let us be the witness for every deeds and talks we had in the world , that once in my journey , I met such lovely people with very good hearts. 

You guys making it harder for me to leave Cardiff. :'(

and I asked Allah in my prayers...

There's so many things going on lately and I wished I am keeping them in writing. Now graduation seems surreal. Most of the classes ended , its way too mainstream to say I won't be having classes after this , because apparently I am opting for CLP after graduation insyaAllah . 

But university life is ending very soon and I am sad for sure, you've been getting formal education for the whole life, I mean for 20 years plus minus , surely it plays a big part in your life. 

Spring is here. I remembered asking Allah to make winter longer, because I love winter above all seasons, and its still cold outside now, I guess its for me to enjoy the cold breeze and the swinging weather mood in Cardiff. Thank you Allah. 

I miss home. A LOT. 

Now March is ending , I am occupied with secretarial works , both for the annual grand meeting and the upcoming spring camp. You can't help it that sometimes you're stressed out with all the workloads but I am currently , alhamdulillah Allah is helping me sorting things out and I need to actually start with my revisions. 

Because after all , I am here to excel in my studies , and now I am perhaps regretting the days I took my studies for granted. 

Days where I put a limit to the sky of success, by saying 

' a 2:2 is enough , a pass should be good '

when actually I should aim higher than just a 2:2 . I am swayed away by this one statement said during my orientation days ' You're doing good if you're scoring a 2:2 ' impliedly saying a first class is nearly impossible for law students and I kept denying people who said that I can make it to the first. 

When most of the verses in Quran that speaks about the paradise , Allah said , to aim the highest level of paradise, which is Syurga Firdaus. 

I reflected on the prayers I make to Allah , 

' Ya Allah , bagi pass pun aku bersyukur ' , 

when you never know Allah is giving you more than just a pass , but the fact that you asked for 'A pass' should be enough , you're putting a limit to what you want  and sometimes it put a halt to your efforts as well. You'll start to put an effort which 'only pass' suffice. 

Just so you know it hurts me while writing this, I am just sad with myself. 

And recently I attended an interview with Sime Darby. They said that they will notified me at the end of the week if I make it to the next phase. Its already Friday and half of my instinct says that I don't make it to the next stage, while half of me is still hoping I will make it. But I asked Allah in my prayers , to give me the best , if the job is the best for me then ease the ways for me. And if its not, You surely knows what's best. Make my heart at ease with Your choice. 

I should have accept that its not the best aite for me? 

Its conflicting inside. I desperately want to secure a job. After all, I did gave my best shot for the interviews. Waking up in the morning , hoping there's a mail will popped from the specific mail I created for job applications purpose. 

At times like this , Allah is definitely testing the talks about trust in His planning , testing the patiences , these days I've been seeing massive of verses in Quran that speaks about patience. Particularly in Ar Ra'd and Surah Ibrahim. For being patient , there's a good reward for you at the very end. 

Head-heart shot. 


I think I want to cry. 

to ease the feelings I can never tell here. 

Selandar :)

I miss Selandar. A LOT. Full stop. 

Yesterday while my house-mate and I were having our dinner, we talked about our school. I don't know how it started but I think I ask about the layout of her school specifically Sains Selangor. 

It was a bit easier for me to tell things as the school plan is simple , its a big L and everything is SQUARE in shape . Then we started to draw the school plan in my mi pad and of course after three years your head filled with all law and facts, drawing become worse and its not doing any justice for school so we started to search things online (as it may sound easier ha ha)

whoever owned the picture, I am in LOVE with this , thank you , see the SQUARE selandar :') 

So I had this preference when it comes to batch or school, I have specific persons' album to look through, its always the same since school ended , there's whole accessible Facebook albums to see, the revolution of technology makes thing much easier nowadays, make reminiscing memories much better as you have the evidence captured rather than staying inside someone's mind and vanished in thin air when they get older / increasing priorities and such.

Its been indeed so long since I last talked about Selandar, of course its always inside my mind , in fact did figuratively carved a home deep down inside my chest , with a mighty arch named 'Selandar' ( I was imagining the Arch of Triumph ( Paris ) inside my head, how you fit those inside your chest haha ) 😝

So as I was flipping through the pictures in the Var Farvel album ( its our last dinner after SPM  (owned by a batch mate ) ( I am rooting for this particular person / couple as we're schoolmates haha ) ( school couple haha ) ) , I showed the pictures to my housemate and asked, which among them are married? Which she had to guess four of them ( Ohmaaaai FOUR already aaaa you girls so advanced , two are mothers , one expecting another baby to come ) ( here I am taking care of my Yunny the yellow flowers and get tired to be bothered already 😓 )

and perhaps none of them , in the pictures, back in 2011 would have thought they would get married early, having babies on top of that , I mean of course we had all these marrying at early age topic for that five da*n years in fact that is perhaps the most popular topic above others ( you have to know how regretful I was to be swayed away in such melodramatic never ending topic ) ( we should discussed more about politics, economics, or maybe ditch all this kind of teenage-drama topics blergh )

And yes, not everything was fun back then , some things are better now , but those days are worth remembering. 

Days where we had to rely on two or three bottles of water when there's a shortage supply of water, you need to wait in line with your pail and bring them upstairs , worst case scenario when you're located at the fourth floor ( wuhuuuu that's one good time in Dorm 20 ha ha ha ) , and now in the UK they charged you a flat rate of £46 a month, sometimes lump sum payment for 6 months, for all-you-can-use-including-drinking-from-the-tap-water without giving any thought of any limits of how long could you spend in one shower session. 

Not only that, having forever mushy feelings , admiring the same person for almost four years and changed the focus after that person left the school , its all so funny now ( used to be so serious back then , and I wish I could delete that part haha ) ( but it is the hormones, they should take the blame haha )  , the debate and all the fun-stress-enjoy-hectic attached to it, place where you complicate simple matters , I mean there's so many things I experienced being there. I am perhaps not good in telling the details, and I do omit many parts of the stories, but I hope it stays inside me, as long as Allah permits it to stay. 

Nevertheless, its a place where part and parcels of my life stays. Still proud to have this school kind of conversation , and proudly says 'Selandar' when they asked which school I am from. 

I remembered the day where I did 100 x ketuk ketampi in front of the junior prefects when I was furious with them ( but not wanting to have any grudge on them I decided to do it too , so its all fair and square(selandar) haha ) ( its part of my fault anyway so that's fine ) , and THAT SHOULD BE THE LAST TIME I EVER DID SUCH THING IN MY LIFE haha , its painful guys, why did Ain ever came with that punishment at the first place ( curse Ain , insert sweet words here ) 

I don't specifically remember with whom I spent my time with , not even with the ge'ef I guess *because we basically becoming like a group when school ended* , and I don't specifically remembered how it was formed , but it was me who set the group back then in 2012 kah kah kah ) , days I spent my time , like a partial psychopath sitting inside the bushes near the field , inside I repeat because I'm feeling so distant with my friends, because they don't invite me to be a part of the  study group , and with all the sadness going on , I tell myself but I need to prove that I can do this ( without getting involved with the study group ) ( I bet they don't even realized they ditched me hahaha ) ( 

you so funny Anis Najwa , small matter also sentap haha.

but I was not sensitive as well in the past , remembered this one quote from this Tenggelamnya Kapal Van Der Wijck ,

Demikianlah Perempuan. Dia hanya ingat kekejaman orang pada dirinya walaupun kecil, dan dia lupa kekejamannya sendiri pada orang lain 

 I guess this applies to human generally not only women hihi

But I survived high school with good memories left with me, ( I may say that) , I met countless of good, heart warming people , pakcik pejabat , pakcik makcik jaga, pakcik tukang kebun, makcik kantin , all the teachers , the school as a whole ( of course this is not some sort of fairy tales , they're some evils among them but that doesn't affect me that much ) ( they do in the past ) ( now not anymore ) ( not THAT much ) 

I remembered last year I went to Mydin during summer and I met one of the makcik kantin, and due to the easily-recognized Anis Najwa , she remembered me too ! You people are so good

May Allah reward you guys accordingly ameeen , lets have this one big land in the paradise with all the Selandar square buildings , perhaps more advanced things , like you can just blink your eyes in Aspuri and a second after that you completed five rounds in the field , or arrived Dewan Makan. Or perhaps entering ko-op and take lots of roti sardin , roti chocolate ( they are sooooo good , the roti sosej too )  without the worry of how much left in your purse to survive another day and get a nasi goreng with telur mata from the kantin. 

Its all about the foods you're talking now . 

And above all , I actually hope if one day I have this one superpower of turning back time, 

I wish I am all wiser back then. 

Not taking advantages on the blessings I had. Maybe studied harder and study for the sake of loving to study. And perhaps embracing the beauty of being a Muslim more even you're not a part of Badar people. I had this mind set of , let the prefects do all the technical things and the Badar should  take care of the religion and faith part ( lol for thousand times ) .

I am just having a thought of the word 'Badar' itself, years ago , to me its just Badan Penggerak Dakwah dan Rohani , is that what it stands for? 

Not until I came across the battle of Badar, the first war in Islamic civilisation. And the revelation of Quran that speaks about how Allah is very pleased with the Badar people, whom we called the first forerunners, the creme of crop and the qaedah sulbah ( the backbone of the growth of Islam ).

I remembered the story of Rasulullah asking Allah to give the victory to the Badar warriors , that says

 'if they are defeated, no one in this world is going to worship the Al-Mighty anymore' , 

"Ya Allah, penuhilah untukku apa yang Kau janjikan kepadaku. Ya Allah, berikan apa yang telah Kau janjikan kepadaku. Ya Allah, jika Engkau biarkan pasukan Islam ini binasa, tidak ada lagi yang menyembah-Mu di muka bumi ini." (HR. Muslim dan Ahmad)

if you think carefully, at the time Badar battle occurred , there are plenty of Madinah people who already embraced Islam, in fact more people are embracing Islam. But why Rasulullah said there will be no one left to worship Him, which to show how strong , or how powerful are the faith inside every member of Badar itself , to be the core of the team at the early stage of spreading Islam, the blessings to the land. 

Everyone should have possess the quality or the spirit of being the BADAR itself , I wish I do. I wished I did.  

Because everything will then be so different , things will be much meaningful , 

Dhuha will be more than just about norms the form fivers do for exam wise , at least for me , Quran recitation ( even reading tafsir ) will be much more enjoyable rather than just to fill your time after dinner and before Maghrib. Even usrah on Friday afternoon won't be something so heavy for everyone or something everyone looked forward to , it should be fun, supposedly rekindling the spirit after a week of workloads. 

But things happens for reasons I believe. and whatever time line you're currently living in, and maybe our time used to cross each other in the past , and may your life be blessed in whatever things you're doing. 

And without Selandar, I perhaps never came across what Mathurat it , or never being able to memorize Al-Mulk easily ( not that easiLY , but surely easier because you're used to ) ( we had a task last year which to memorize Al-Mulk in our usrah , and tasmik ( checked by kakak naqibah every week ) ( part paling nervous dalam usrah haha ) 

Because you're used to this one fix schedule every single day in Selandar , the practice, the customs and the norms are making you much flexible and prepared to start a life in a no-rule-abiding-you-any more world.

Like how weird could it gets when you're on the phone with your mum at the public phone ( I miss the long queues when we had only ONE/TWO PUBLIC PHONE in the Aspuri, 2007 and the battle of the coins ) and there's random kakak came from nowhere said 'Kirim salam Mak' 

and you were like err okay k err 

when you don't even know my mom yow sister awkward , but that used to be so awkward moment are repetitively done NOW as a matter of courtesy ( or to pro-long / stop the conversation with manner ) 

Awww Selandar , see what you have done to me 😂

p/s I looked horrible in most pictures I had in school , very hard to find a decent one because eventually I never care, and should have really care , I am keeping all school photos in seventh forest deep inside the jungle, got eaten by the tigers ( you even have vegan tigers eating photo now heh Najwa ) hence abolishing the evidences ha ha ha 

Life ahead me

These days with so many jobs applications floating around ( fret not now I am in 'job seeker' phase shoooooooooot me why I am getting so old now ) , I initially had a trouble in figuring out my career prospect. 

sometimes I just want to stay at where I am now , enjoying every bits and pieces of life.

but I know , I can't

I always wanted to work in bank sectors ever since I read about Prof Ahmad Ibrahim , the founding father of Islamic banking in Malaysia - thanks to that thick Malaysian Book of Record at home , its been my forever dream ever since I read about Prof Ahmad's biography. 

And it turns out that most of the companies that offered a graduate training scheme are banks , and we do associate banks with accounting students , as they may be much more advance in knowledge and application wise than we law students do. 

But as I was scheming through the lists of employers that will attend the career fair this upcoming April , my eyes caught Prudential and KWSP. I figured that my interests were drawn towards welfare and employee-employer relationship , and this is very much affected by labour law. I'm thanking Roseanne and Pauline for the deep interest I've drawn towards employment law. 

Despite all these hectic applications going on , constantly updating resumes and checking it again and again , I do have my own goal and career prospect in law specifically. I wanted to do Certificate of Legal Practice (CLP) and I am scared that I couldn't cope with the workloads juggling between jobs and CLP alone. It scares me to even think about it , but I think I am desperate to secure a job too since I need to cover the rents / transportation cost if it applies. 

Now everything is so real ( so fast ) , I do hope that I am ready when the time comes. 

And if you're reading this through , I am in need , desperately need your prayers :) 

May Allah reward us accordingly , insyaAllah 

*    *     *

Spent an hour and a half to hear to a sharing about Himmah A'liyaa by makcik akhawat ( I can't catch her name my bad ) just now. 

Himmah A'liyaa is basically directly translated as ' High Spirit , or perhaps I may say High Will' , and the gist of the talk was to discuss about the importance of the role of 'high will' in our life , how it can actually be a driving force for us to move forward and factor that may bring our will , spirit down. 

Best to be translated as well in Malay : Semangat yang tertinggi

I remembered this one time when an ikhwah shared about ' when there's a will , there is a way'

particularly when he said ; 

and giving massive of excuses before doing something shows that you never insert your willingness in doing something , and it can't be a success as at the first place you don't have the will to do it ' 

and makcik adds ' your will must be guided with the right understanding ' sometimes we are so eager to do something , overflowed by energy but you're channelling in for a bad cause , you're not utilising the 'strong will' that you're possessing. 

And one final note ' If we're not equipped with big missions , our life will be filled with this small petty things and that may brings your spirit down' 

and always , always , Cita citakan syurga yang paling tinggi :) 

on the days like this , I will definitely miss how I spent most of my Thursday in my third year , its a day of peace I may say as usually the whole house will puasa sunat and break our fast together, I'll treasure this moment :') . Allah bagi kebaikan banyak banyak please for my kind house mates :')

And one other vivid dream I have now , 

You know , every time when I am writing down something that concerns about faith, dakwah, a reflection from talks or even input from my usrah , 

I have one aim in my mind , which to make everyone that read understand and can relate with their life. ( hence why the definition , because I believed in the importance of definition as it may shaped your understanding ha-ha )

Because I want every single person on earth to feel that matters about religion and dakwah is applicable in everyone's life , no matter what position of knowledge they're currently at and most importantly to benefit from my little thoughts, or other people's thoughts which I put into words for keeping. 
On random days where people sent you little notes,

Your blog is inspiring. 

And sometimes our stories , yours and mine could be similar , could inspire anyone , and perhaps by a slightest difference , I put them into words. Nevertheless you being kind with your words, are inspiring at the same time. 

I've met many people through this medium which I am so glad for. Many good people with good hearts. Which I may not be as warm as my words do , sometimes colder than the PMS Cardiff's weather gets , which I admit to that , and sorry for acting such way. But best for you to know , I am grateful for ways the fate was and is about to be written down. 

May this be one of the thing Allah is pleased with. Just my tiniest effort to make the world a better place and even more, the hereafter is worth the chase.


Behind the scene,
Anis Najwa Nazari

Ireland - January 2016

Never too late , START NOW !

It's never late to start something. 

These past few weeks , I've been getting involved in various course leading to the issue of volunteering. Last week I attended The Malaysian Initiative on behalf of the IKRAM UK-Eire, and I've been telling everyone how beneficial the forums were. 

Which some may say on the surface of the event , it will be a little bit bias on political stand , which I may admit to that for the first forum concerning political literacy , but all in all its really a beneficial one and I concluded it to be beneficial and interesting because I am wide awake for all the sessions , mind it was Saturday and the event took place from 8.00 am till 6.00 pm ( since I had meetings with other student leaders as well ). 

I am perhaps drawn towards the economics discussion because the questions are indeed provocative and when we talked about figures being the evidence of the discussion , you certainly need to be transparent on the answers , as we draw logics between both figures and policies in general. 

However when we had this qodhoya session in our usrah last week, its a session to update what's going on with your life and important notes to share with the rest of the group, I remembered how my other usrahmate was prone towards the Volunteering is Universal , and I had my second thoughts on reviewing the second slot to be as interesting as the economics discussion. 

But since I was in the middle of preparing myself to moderate the forum for Seminar For Muslim Women (SEMAWAR) last weekend , I barely thought of writing things happening in TMI in proper notes. 

The session with Dr Fauziah Hassan and Sister Ameena Blake were amusing. Alhamdulillah indeed Allah is behind all the affairs and He eased it all the way through alhamdulillah

SEMINAR FOR MUSLIM WOMEN - SEMAWAR -  Birmingham March 2017 



For you who don't know who is Dr Fauziah , she is one of the delegate for Women Boat to Gaza last year ( correct me if I am wrong ) at she went to the mission at the age of 59/60 , nearly 6 decades of her age. Incredible woman indeed. While Sister Ameena Blake, who reverted at the age of 17 which is so so young. Thinking how mischievous my life was at the age of 17 , knowing someone reverted at such a young age is something amusing indeed. 

Long story cut short , 

The essence of the discussion is about unleashing your potentials and making a difference , which talked about doing charity and how it may affect you and your surrounding. 



I remembered my first 'formal' volunteering experience was Kalsom , I did some volunteering in the past during school days even tutoring in Tambak Paya during my first summer holiday back in 2015. Truthfully the reason why I applied for Kalsom , is for the resume wise and apparently everyone else at my age are getting involved with such camps , so I wanted to try it myself. But since I know the applicants are very high in numbers , I never thought that I will get the facilitator position. 

All these while working under IKRAM programs , especially at my Wales and South West region , I am used to work with all girls #girlspowereceh and it will be about the religion and related motions. But Kalsom and Seeds of Deeds Camp were really an eye opener. I saw many great people whom I admired from far. Trust me I was usually a person with high confidence but that's not what happened when I was volunteering for Kalsom , I am much better in Seeds of Deeds I guess. 

Little that I know , I gained so much confidence and learnt a lot from the camp especially the usage of English in my daily life. ( very true ) ( I'm still struggling with the grammars , mind me ) 

But that's not what I am trying to write about here. ( I babbled too much I know , sorry ) 

After hearing to wonderful experience of two distinguished speakers during SEMAWAR coupled with my memories hearing to Volunteering is Universal during TMI , 

I know that its never too late to start  doing something in your life , particularly volunteering or doing charity . And the reasons you're doing it at first might be driven by the fact that you want to add values in your resume. 

I was taken aback when they said 'Your volunteering will be a one-off volunteering if its only for resume reason'

Never mind , its okay 

whatever reason beneath the reason why you start , you'll figure things out. As you go along the way , hopefully getting older and wiser, you started to realize that volunteering is actually addictive , your original intention of getting your resume attractive will start to disappear , and you're doing it because you enjoy doing it.

Not to mention a hadith uttered by Rasulullah saw 

Every soul must do charity every day when sun rises. 

And quoting the a chanting mantra by Syed Hadi , the Kalsom Movement 22nd president. 

If not now , when. If not us , who? 

And the fact that seeing someone at the old age were really keen to get involved with this Palestinian cause , I know that it is never too late to start .

This brings me back to a topic discussed during my first Perhimpunan Musim Sejuk in 2014 , 

about ' Peranan  Pemuda'  : THE ROLE OF YOUTH

And I remembered the story about Abu Ayyub Al Ansari , who followed the troops to set Constantinople free from the Romans / Byzantine Empire. He was really old that time but he was driven by the hadith uttered by Rasulullah saw during Khandak Battle ( the famous trench dug ) 

' Constantinople , satu hari akan dibuka oleh sebaik baik raja dan sebaik baik tentera' 

So Abu Ayyub Al Ansari heard that it and wanted to be the one who Rasulullah mentioned in that hadith. Note that Khandak Battle happened thousand/hundred years before the Fall of Constantinople , even by the time Rasulullah said that hadith , Roman empire was a big empire at that time and it seems that what Rasulullah said was something nearly impossible. How can even that be true. But because those words come from the very dear messenger of Allah , the Al-Amin , this Abu Ayyub Al Ansari was determined to follow the troops.

He's old , and by the definition of 'normal youth' according to the political discussion , maximum age is 40 years old , but this Sir Ayyub is said to be nearing 100 or more. But what he had is the quality of youth he possessed  in his soul , his determination is what lacking in today's youth. This story of Sir Ayyub will forever be kept inside my heart . 

After the hadith uttered and known by the companions , many troops were sent to defeat the Byzantine power, but none were successful ( including the troops Sir Ayyub followed ) until the glorious and success by Sultan Muhamad Al Fateh and the gang. 

One famous history about Sir Ayyub is that he asked to be buried near the strong wall of Constantinople , so he can hear the steps of the troops defeating that big power. 

But when I went there, knowing that his grave is not even close with the wall , but his determination and owning a soul of youth , are indeed admirable. 

Highlight of the story : 

You can be a youth whatever age you're at , but if you happened to read this at a very young age, use your power , your strength , your time to contribute back to the society. 

As we're talking about charity : some may say that smile is charity , so we just need to smile and that suffice. But I solemnly believe that we can do more than just smile aren't we?

Never too late. 

START NOW !