A level life #1

Hey assalamualaikum. Memandangkan twitter mengalami masalah burung kecil tidak mampu menampung berat ikan paus. Makanya marilah kita mengabdikan kenangan bersama. Aicewaah manusia ini baru tertelan dos cinta lebih dua sudu camca teh. Freak Off. Kau seram tahu najwa?

le moustache. Happy life :3 

Abaikan. Abaikan.

So I guess I rarely tell about my study life. Adakah kerana perempuan ini cuma tahu berjimba dan berseronok setiap hari, maka tiada diari belajar disisipkan dalam blog. *Haippp jangan bersangka buruk. Husnu zhon ye ( bagi sesiapa yang masih membaca hingga ke line ini sila bersangka baik ) . So I decided to make frequent post regarding my study life. Kononnya nak berlagak seperti punya berjotaa readers. So the lulz. Tak, supaya nanti aku boleh go through balik sambil cerita dengan cucu cucu " Nenek hambik a'lebel dulu, pandai kan nenek engko" * mata ke atas pegang perut* See aura berangan mencapai tahap tak boleh nak dicerna kepala. Orait dah. Cukup. Pendahuluan je dah berbunga bunga taik ayam.

So Alebel. *sebutannya* ejaannya Alevel.

For the time being aku masih bernafas mesra dengan Math. Meskipun ada masa rasa macam nak tarik rambut sendiri sebab baru chapter 3 dah bising ke laut. Stats seems to be hard * like serioussslayyhhh kau wajar disyelek dengan tinner najwa. But yeah the mometn I decided to tear off the part where I malas malas buat latihan stats and start doing it over and over again, this get better :) Even the stats book looks better with the rajin me. Math, Stats. For this time being, thanks for the great moment we share. I'll spare more time to do personal bonding with both of you. Infact, till the very day, I do.

History. Dulu masa awal awal, hambik kau segala kebencian, kesedihan, kerasaan nak melepaskan history dan pilih law atau psychology, Allah kan kata dia yang pegang hati. Maka hati ini tetap untuk memilih sejarah. So yeah. Sila percaya aku makin rajin menghabiskan malam aku, selepas buat latihan math atau berjimba di twitter *selalunya harusss twitter, aku akan search pasal sejarah. Jot down. Dan dilabel rajin kerana nota 5 minit. Luls amin ameeeen :")  Clap to the usaha. Moga Allah mudahkan.

Subjek lain. English Economics. Alhamdulillah. Boleh catch up meskipun selalu dapat suprise dalam kelas english. Still I can negotiate the the subject. Econs, kan dia antara subjek yang aku sayang muahh muahh. Jadi, kerana sayang, aku rasa takde persoalan yang timbul di benak kepala. Cuma memikirkan bila nak revise balik Micro econs. Bhahahah.

Lain lain. Takde kot.

Meskipun jalan ceghita nampak macam hambar je hidup penulis belog ni. Oh tidakk. I am enjoying every single moment. Talking craps with my deskmate. My GF's. Everything makes my life gets better. Sometimes, banyak benda yang indah indah berlaku dalam hidup ni, tak mampu di-ilustrate dalam penulisan. Its better to keep it here, inside the brain. Down to the memory lane.

Oh life.

Live the life to the fullest. Ignorant is bliss. Kill the haters. Mari menari. UPS, mari kita mngucap Syukur Alhamdulillah :")


Ini comel. Feel like grabbing them and EAT. buarrrhaha. *gelak konon taff. 

Killing someone virtually.

image

Sayangnya kau bukan buku. 


Gone mad. Somewhere else. In Venus. Perhaps. 

Sorry to say. But still, screw you. 

Its family time :)

Dah lama rasanya tak menjenguk blog. Maybe its true that when you got people to cheer your reality , you tend to leave the social networks. Well exactly what I am feeling right now :")

Here I am writing this in Melaka. For two weeks, pergi balik Melaka Shah Alam wasn't a big problem to me. As long as I'm home. Where the strength gathered. Being home again. Gahhh the feeling was GREAT.

Nadzmi went to Saser. Badly wanted to send him there. But itu bukan dalam aturan Allah. I got no class on Monday and for the rest of the week. Except for TUESDAY T.T heartbreak *bunyi gelas pecah* . Being home without you around. I feel the difference. Sebab aku rasa aku rapat dengan dia. Dia selalu panggil aku amah. Dia selalu rajin *lah jugak* tolong aku buat kerja kat dapur. Aku selalu panggil dia bangla because most of the time, he's the one who do the chores. Haha. Kakak kau ni sedih tahu? :"( Tapi takpelah. You went there untuk kejar victories to  yourself kan :) Menyambung legasi kecemerlangan Keluarga Encik Nazari dan Puan Nurul Inawati. Dah jauh jauh dah masing masing. Abang ke Perlis. Aku ke Shah Alam and UK insyaAllah. Aimi insyaAllah nak sambung belajar lagi lepas ni. Nadzmi dah ke Seremban. Tinggal dua hensem tu dekat rumah dengan ibu ayah.

Yesterday inside the car, Nabil was like pointing to the school sticker yang ditampal di cermin depan kereta.

Nabil : Dah boleh cabut la bu dua sticker ni * sbpi selandar *sains rembau. Nanti letak sticker sekolah abang Nadzmi. Nanti Nabil dengan Umair pulak letak sticker sekolah kitaorang dekat situ :')

Akak doakan korang :) Nabil shows positive improvement bila dah masuk darjah enam ni. I guess he know what he'll be facing this year. I could sense the difference. Last week dia pergi macam motivasi kecemerlangan. Without me asking, dia ceritakan semua yang dia dapat masa motivasi tu, including the paper  Aku Janji ( 5 A's ) :') , jadual belajar dia. I know he can do it. Even based on records , people might downgrade him, I would never downgrade my own brother. I believe in him. I know he'll achieve victories in his life. YOU WILL AHMAD NABIL :)

Abang. Sure I know he's doing good there. Jauh di mata, dekat di hati. Aicewahhh :"D
Umair. This boy. Dia tidak merasakan apa apa ketension-an for now. haha.

Aimi. Credit to my only sister. My gossip mate . perhaps. haha. Your passion for being an english teacher, akak yang comel ini mendoakan yang terbaik. Whatever the result would be, Allah yang mengatur semua kan. Jadi, jadilah orang yang percaya. For now enjoy your freaking great life without the books. You'll be missing these moments.

To ibu and ayah :) We the six siblings. We will always give our very best.

WELL, THIS IS FAMILY TIME :)

I want to fly. Lillahita'ala.


We got swag :D

Going Beyond The Limitation.

For the time being. The blog should not be publicized. Like anywhere. Because i had been spilling lots of emotional breakdown.

Now I am . Another day. Hurt. 


I've been going beyond the limitation. Well I know from the very beginning, I shall be following every single limitations I've made for myself. Again now. Another step taken , the step go beyond the line. And now wonderful hurt.  

And now. 

Bersangka baiklah Najwa. Untuk berubah untuk jadi apa, jadi siapa, sometimes at the middle of the path, you might fall. You might cry. The most important thing is you realized that something need to be mend. Supaya di masa depan tak jatuh di tempat yang sama. Tak nangis untuk reason yang sama. 

I've been facing things like this before. And yeah. Its always too avoid . Keeping a distance away. 

Yang sabar jadi manusia Najwa. Yang redha. Yang menerima. Yang respect even if you don't agree.

Jangan jadi manusia yang point fingers. Sebab satu kita tunding pada orang. Lagi 4 jari tunjuk diri sendiri. Jangan jadi manusia yang vivid-kan kesalahan orang. Sebab satu kelemahan orang yang kita tunjukkan, banyak kesalahan diri kita yang Allah tunjukkan pada orang lain :)

A distance away.

Melaka.

Adakah tetiba rasa nak tukar profession jadi tourist guide. Ekekeke tajuk nak Melaka kauuu :) *jemah sounds liddat*

Well to be exact. Aku sebagai warga Melaka yang berwibawa , aku sangat alergik ye Melaka punya population waktu hujung minggu. Jammed all the way. Jadi, keputusan untuk ke kawasan bandar hujung minggu bagi manusia macam aku adalah keputusan yang melangkaui batasan akal fikiran waras. Aicewahhh.

For the rest of the day, I just love Melaka :) Nak buat assignment hometown English senang. Because Melaka is awesomeeee like that. Jadi selaku sorang je manusia dari Melaka dalam kelas Law 2 tu, aku sangat bahagia membuat assignment seorang diri. Camne ehh, aku punya silde try nak persuade orang datang Melaka but then aku tak suka kepadatan Melaka zaman kini. T.T

I miss my house like so so so so badddddddd. Nak menapak rumah. Nak jumpa ayah ibu. Nak jumpa adik adik. Nak jumpa internet laju berkuasa cubic dari kelajuan internet Akasia. Lol Lol Lol Lol. Lots of things that I miss to do macam masak, getting foods for free, getting stuff to eat without paying. Gahhhh its wonderful mannnn. Nak tengok TV jugak. Kau tengok tak bertapa kufur nikmatnya manusia sorang ni. T.T Masa dekat rumah, tengok TV sangatlah jarang. Tengok, tinggal, tidur. Ni dah Allah tarik nikmat TV tu, tang tulahhh nak tengok TV * cakar pintu*

MELAKA. Melaka berjasa pada aku. I owe you big time dearest state :D

Oh familyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Rindu. Rindu . Rindu.

The pain. Will be healed.


Maybe its because the class is freeeeeeeezing cold. Itu menyumbang mungkin terhadap pemilihan tajuk :3

In some other way I act so cold today. Idk, maybe I am possessed by the 'Monday Blues' evil spirit. Gahh. I destroyed my mood since morning. I woke up late. Not to blame anyone because I hardly hear the alarm. Why. Why. I slept an hour late than usual yesterday. Because I can't sleep with distractions. Or is it maybe what. I hardly sleep in lights. Since ever.

Making puasa as a habit. Well , alhamdulillah to You for waking me up slightly earlier than the azan. A cup of water should be enough I guess. Oh don't make it hard for me O Allah. Make the day smooth. For past few days , I tried to be "The Person That I Decided To Be" . Still trying. Keep trying.

Sometimes it hard to know what's the exact niat you had inside you whenever you're stepping closer to the change that you decided to be one. Up till today, whenever I walk down the stairs from the room and walking pass the blocks , that would be the only thing that I think at that particular moment. Allahurabbi don't make it hard for me. Ease it for me. Ameeen.

...Aku tahu aku ada Kau...

Because I know you won't put any single of regret inside me whenever I getting myself near You. The pain is a happiness.

6:17

And if Allah should touch you with adversity, there is no remover of it except Him. And if He touches you with good - then He is over all things competent.

Anniversary Ayah Ibu :)

23 years passed by. My brother is 21 by now. I am 19. My sister is 18. The trio-brothers 16, 12, 11 respectively :)

Happy Anniversary yang ke 23 Ayah Ibu. 20 January 1990 . 20 January 2013.

To both of you. Thanks for everything that I could never list. Through the years, I always wanted to be better. For not making any single regret for having me as your daughter . It had been years , I am the only child yang setakat ni , masuk 13 tahun dah tinggal jauh dengan family. Well to count the kilometres memang takde jauh mana but just by the kilometres , I had lost lots of family moments. After years , bila habis SPM , I tried to make the bond stronger because I know my journey won't stop there. Now here I am, doing A-level for overseas preparation. Another years would apart us. Tu belum masuk nanti tuntutan isteri ikut suami. Allahurabbi.  * k sempat kan berangan ayat-ayat cinta dekat sini :) * Thats why I dah tanamkan azam to appreciate every single moment I had whenever I am home. Making every chores selari dengan personaliti 19 tahun *ihiikk ihikk *

For now, I am making myself used to it :")

Twenty Three Years.
Raising Six Of Us. Its not easy I know. I know. But I know Allah ease it for you guys.
For each of things I've achieved. You guys were the pillars of my strength. For being there. For being here in my heart.
Couldn't make a list for numerous of your good deeds. Infinities of thanks.



To Allah. Terima Kasih for giving me such a wonderful family. Wonderful Ayah Ibu.

  



Showered them with Your Blessing. Make it easy for them. Live their life happily ever after. Let us be the reasons for them to enter the syurga firdaus. Because they had done uncountable great things that I can never repay. For each steps they took in life, bless them

I HEART THEM

1 <3 Ayah Ibu.

Inferior. Its hard to tell. Its just complicated.

This should be the most suitable word to describe me at the particular moment.

INFERIOR.

From the feelings. To the foods. To everything I ever done today make me feel like : INFERIOR . Somehow I would say that I am on my verge of my  tears. Feel like spilling something that I can never explain. Its like stabbing my back. I feel it pierced into the piece of heart. Its bleeding inside. And I couldn't cure it because its virtual. Not physically seen. Just me. Its just me. Killed inside.

...

I wish you could understand. Even though I am voicing it out. I thought that you'll be supporting me , but you just make me feel so sad. You mocked me. Again. I feel so bad.

......

Searching.

I decided to change. I am trying to. I will always do.

For it tomorrow never comes. At least Allah won't let me feel any regret about today.

Masih mencari kekuatan berjalan balik pada fitrah. Trying to understand every single things I used to recite in my solat. Trying to value every single Allah sayings in His Love Letter. Read and Value. Ramai mampu membaca. Tapi tak ramai mampu value. Valuation comes with application.


Menapak tak mudah. Berjalan balik pada Dia perlu hati yang kental. Hati perlu redha. Hati perlu ikhlas.

Aku taknak jadi hamba yang terus mendustakan nikmat yang Allah bagi. Bertahun aku rasa jauh. Bertahun untuk aku sedar . Idk where was the turning point. Idk how the future treats. All I know, I am in the journey of searching. Searching for solace.

Bless the journey of my family members. Ease them whenever they were in trouble. Sooth them when they're on the verge of their tears. Till Jannah I wanted we to gather. Allahurabbi.

Allah. Aku rindu.


89:27
[To the righteous it will be said], "O reassured soul,


89:28
Return to your Lord, well-pleased and pleasing [to Him]

89:29
And enter among My [righteous] servants

89:30
And enter My Paradise.

Kawan Yang Baik

I rush the adrenaline inside me to write something here. Maybe its because I got no idea on what movie to watch so I decided to write. Mih Mih Mih.

A good friend. Tell me how you define Kawan Yang Baik.

Because I  firmly believe in the freedom of speech thus I do believe there's another 359' possible answers for this. Simply because the world revolve 360' . 1 degree portray one perspective.

For me. How I define it after making numerous of reading. Exactly its not that " numerous " . K poyo. Just wondering on what factor you label someone as your Good Friend. There must be some clear reasons regarding that. Yeahh you dont easily point out to people, Hey You, You're my best friend *cengkerik moment inserted*

So its just a very short ramblings.

Kawan yang baik ialah kawan yang akan menjadi salah satu reason for us to apply heaven here after. I mean, bila dia akan menjadi reason, so dialah orang yang selalu mengajak kita ke arah kebaikan, dia yang selalu mengingatkan kita kalau kita lalai.



alhamdulillah :)


Trying to be kawan yang baik. Well after all this is how I define kawan yang baik. Saya nak jadi kawan yang baik. Nak kawan yang baik, kita kena jadi baik dulu. Qias Surah An-Nur, perempuan baik untuk lelaki baik. :)

Words spread.  :) Wisdom of saying.

Bulatan Itu Gembira.

Breathing lively. Thanks Al-Mighty Allah for another chance.

I got a chance to gather in an usrah yesterday. Well I guess its a coincidence. Tapi I know , Allah fate it to happen and already happened. I would like to share something here. Regardless how I perceive USRAH is all about ever since I know what usrah is * which since my secondary school*


U S R A H itu keluarga. Its a direct translation from the arabic word. Tapi dulu, I merely hate usrah because usrah is tiring , usrah is mengantuk , usrah is everything negative. Kalau dulu masa dekat Selandar, usrah amat amat boring, maybe dia termasuk dalam program berbentuk paksaan dan jika tak datang usrah, you'll receive some punishments. And it sucks. Keluarga apa macam tu? Sometimes pengisian dia  langsung tak boleh nak relate dengan hidup realiti. I mean like, betul laa awak share ayat ayat Al-Quran, tapi now you're talking to teenagers yang muka semua muka siput mengantuk, mana otak tu nak relate one thing to another.  Dulu aku nak sangat jadi one of ketua usrah, sebab aku nak make it fun, relating a common sense dengan agama, relating benda yang selalu berlaku dalam hidup and how to value it. Tapi tak pernah ada peluang, muka stok stok tak alim macam ni, tak usah bermimpi.

Mungkin atas dasar dasar sebegini, I never attend my usrah meet for my first semester. Sebab tak nak rasa offended. Sebab taknak rasa beban. Sebab paling utama, tak usah selindung balik pokok wahai si PEMALAS. K MALAS , malas yang amat amat amat amat malas. Mendewa.

Despite rebellion aku selaku seorang remaja, I try to seek what is usrah is all about. Does it really like in school years. Well exactly I view every single thing showed in youtube, to show how different the usrah would be.

Yesterday, It Was A Nice Meet. Tolak tepi segala seluar tidur yang aku pakai but I really enjoy it. Mungkin faktor makan free menjadi pendorong. * I tell you money is decreasing and I isz sad * Yesterday, I got to share things. I got to talk. They give an equality in talking and giving. Even tho aku emangg bukan member club PSC * its an islamic society here* even though muka aku tak pernah muncul usrah, they gimme chance to talk. To give. To share. We played games. We share ayat Al-Quran. As I never seen and expect, its wallaaaaaa. Kalau ikut sense, how can you play games and relate dengan Al-Quran value. Life cycle game.

A member in the group, I vividly remember her, Fatin Shafiqah. We met for times during history class but we never talk. Dia pesan : Allah berfirman : Surah Al Muzammil ayat 20. *its a long one, I'm taking the part yang dia pesan tu *

dan berilah pinjaman kepada Allah sebagai pinjaman yang baik (ikhlas). Dan (ingatlah), apa jua kebaikan yang kamu kerjakan sebagai bekalan untuk diri kamu, tentulah kamu akan mendapat balasannya pada sisi Allah, - sebagai balasan yang sebaik-baiknya dan yang amat besar pahalanya. Dan mintalah ampun kepada Allah sesungguhnya Allah Maha Pengampun, lagi Maha Mengasihani.

Kalau kita pinjamkan masa yang Allah pinjamkan untuk kita ke arah kebaikan, pasti Allah membalas balik berlipat kali ganda. Macam Allah bagi 24 seven. Kita sibuk buat benda duniawi. Apa salahnya maghrib kita langkah kaki ke surau, pinjamkan masa kita *yang Allah bagi pinjam tu* beribadah pada dia. Dalam ayat penuh ayat ni, Allah kata jugak, Allah tahu setiap kebaikan yang kita buat :) 

Indeed, your Lord knows, [O Muhammad], that you stand [in prayer] almost two thirds of the night or half of it or a third of it, and [so do] a group of those with you. And Allah determines [the extent of] the night and the day. He has known that you [Muslims] will not be able to do it and has turned to you in forgiveness, so recite what is easy [for you] of the Qur'an. He has known that there will be among you those who are ill and others traveling throughout the land seeking [something] of the bounty of Allah and others fighting for the cause of Allah . So recite what is easy from it and establish prayer and give zakah and loan Allah a goodly loan. And whatever good you put forward for yourselves - you will find it with Allah . It is better and greater in reward. And seek forgiveness of Allah . Indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.

Sesungguhnya. Bulatan Itu Gembira.

image
takde perkaitan =='

Numbers.

Heheeey hey I've been so emotional these days. So Holaaa blog. I've been missing you for past few days. Living my life in reality so yeahh I abandoned my artificial virtual friend. Oh this is what I define BLOG is.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 2 4 5 1 9 9 4. Eh eh. haha

So can I tell from the title. Oh yeah pandai pandai. I am going to share my 3 weeks experience dealing with Numbers. Where to be exact its Math. By the way, 3 weeks ? 0.0 I do hope the time runs even faster than now. Why you're ticking so slowwwwwwwwwww .

MATH , it happened to treat me  better than I expected. Maybe its because the lecturer. Omnomnomnom. Haha drown yourself to the sink of something. Haha. My law mates said that I had that one kind of weird hormons. Hormone attracted to the lecturers? Oh what. Oh wait. WHATTTTA. No I am not. No, I am .. I am.. straight. Err.

But Idk why, but I am having tough moments with my Statistic. Adakah kerana diri ini sangat malas nak mendewa buat latihan Stats atau apa. All those data successfully dizzied me. Bravo you data's. I am gonna heal it soon. Soon? *kening kening* bilaaa soon awak tu najwa. Kihkihkih. Heihhh, soon I mean as soon as possible. Heyyypppp *muka pegang rotan*

Talking about numbers. Baru teringat yang baru 3 minggu duduk intec. Tetapi 3 minggu terasa berbulan. Numbers of workload. Wallaaaaa sabarlah wahai hati :'# Meskipun kredit hour tidak sechallenging orang lain. Tetapi numbers of mengeluh memang berbakul bakul bakul bakul bakul.

Tak ketinggalan numbers merepek yang telah mencapai tahap dewa karma mengarut bersama ainaa :) hahah. Kadang kadang bila fikir balik, sumpahhh semua craps gilaaa ayat. Titik peluh mamak as an added cost for product approach sebab kedai mamak Rafi Bistro mahal sikit dari kedai mamak lain. So mesti ada permainan dia di sebalik itu. Wkakakaka su'zhon betul.  Kesan belajar ekonomi. Yeah ekonomi isz seronok okay. Yang lain dirasakan begitu sensored ye diutarakan disini. haha

Oh yeah. Numbers.

Fear.

6:125



“Maka sesiapa Yang Allah kehendaki untuk memberi hidayah petunjuk kepadanya nescaya ia
melapangkan dadanya (membuka hatinya) untuk menerima Islam…” (Surah Al-An’am 6: 125)

I know Aku Islam , dan Allah  tak mungkin jadikan aku Islam tanpa sebab. Mesti ada sebab. Mesti ada hikamh.  

Having a complete fear. Ever since I decided. To make a new resolution. The heart feels fear. Fear of dying .  Fear of neraka. Fear of meeting Allah dalam keadaan tak bersedia. Fear of everything. Fear yang akan buat hati ini menangis sebab takut tak sempat repent all those sins. 

All these times I wish for a turning point. Dulu sekali pernah rasa masa acik left the family. Sebab tengok acik muda lagi tapi Allah dah ambik nyawa dia. Questioning things like, Acik tahu ke dia dah nak pergi. Because he shows good changes before dia nak tinggalkan dunia. Dengar cerita nenek and based on my observations, aku tahu acik anak yang baik. I can see that. Dan bertanya pada diri sendiri, mampu jadi macam tu? Hati ni rasa lemah. Aku takut nanti aku jugak akan mati pada usia yang aku tak tahu bila.

Tapi hati tak cukup kuat. Hati sangat sangat tak kuat. Sebab realization tak selari dengan tindak tanduk. Solat sunat cuma buat masa nak periksa besar, beberapa minggu sebelum result. Puasa, kalau takde ramadhan, memang mimpi nak puasa sunat. Sebab semua benda ni terasa macam berat. Sebab tatkala benda yang fardhu pun, hati dan jiwa tak masuk dalam solat. Tang tu nak fikir "satgi nak buat apa" "Nak belajar apa" . Surau, jauh dari pertimbangan akal. Memang takkan pernah jejakkan kaki.

Berat nak bangun tahajud. Walaupun diri tu tahu yang Allah tak bagi chance meeting Him pada semua orang. Kufur nikmat sejak pagi, macam mana laa jalan nak diberkati Allah najwa.

Sungguh aku rasa. Yang 2012 aku dibazirkan macam tu je. Sebab hidup dah bebas. Sebab dah tak ada warden nak bising suruh turun surau. Sebab hati ni rasa, sama je sembahyang kat mana. Janji sembahyang. Itu pun dulu ke surau sebab rasa terpaksa , sebab semua orang ke surau. Kalau tak ke surau ada yang mengata. Tak pernah hati tu rasa ikhlas. Tak pernah hati tu rasa bersyukur Allah jejakkan kaki ke rumah Dia. Kenapa.

Sedangkan diri ni belajar yang surau tu salah satu rumah Allah. Di mana orang berkumpul kejar 27 pahala. Surau juga tempat orang datang dengan niat nak buat kebaikan. Tak pernah ada orang ke surau kalau hati dia tak digerakkan. Diri ini tahu. Diri ini sedar. Diri ini faham. Tapi kenapa.

Result semester 1. Luar jangkaan. Tipu kalau kata hati ini pernah teringin nak full point. Sebab rasa beyond capability. Tipu kalau kata takde langsung rasa riak di hati. Aku nak jujur. Tapi seiring dengan masa, aku tahu kepandaian tu milik Dia. Tatkala syaitan kuatkan rasa riak tu, tetiba terfikir. Kalau Allah tarik pandai tu, kau tak ke mana. Kalau Allah tarik nikmat tu, kau tak jadi apa. Sebab aku tahu, I own nothing. Sebab aku jugak tahu yang aku tak berjaya atas usaha sendiri. Ramai orang sekelililng doa. Aku tahu, kalau Allah tak masukkan aku dalam doa doa orang yang soleh ni, berjaya tu takkan jadi milik aku.

O Allah. Hati aku menangis . Aku tak tahu macam mana penulisan ni akan di interpret kan. Aku takut luahkan pada manusia. Aku luahkan dekat sini, tetap akan ada manusia yang baca. Does it make any difference. Aku luahkan dekat Kau, sangat sedikit yang aku mampu luahkan. Sebab aku pegang dalam hati yang Kau tau every single thing apa yang aku nak. Apa yang aku desire.  Aku tulis ni sebab aku nak clear dengan apa yang aku nak sebenarnya. Sebab aku nak aku sedar berapa banyak nikmat Allah yang aku dah dustakan. 

Hati ini menangis tatkala Ar-Rahman menyapa telinga.
Dulu aku tak pernah faham. Apa nikmat yang Kau bagi aku dustakan. Hati ini rasa angkuh sambil cakap yang aku tak pernah dustakan nikmat Kau bagi. Tapi sekarang aku faham. Banyak sangat . Nikmat kau beri, aku dah dustakan. Jahil.

Aku pernah question. Kenapa sampai sekarang badan aku masih tak seperti apa yang aku nak. Merasakan yang Kau tak pernah adil dengan aku sebab orang lain, yang sebaya aku, tak perlu susah nak fikir pasal bentuk badan diaorang. Makin lama aku sedar yang, tak semua tuntutan Kau aku penuhkan seikhlas hati. Mana mungkin kau makbulkan doa aku. Mana mungkin. Sebab hati ni sendiri tak pernah yakin yang akan ada perubahan. Sebab aku rasa perubahan itu payah. Hati tak pernah kuat. Allahuakbar.

Aku takut nanti aku mati, aku akan menyusahkan ramai pihak. Jadi dari hari ini aku mula doa supaya Kau mudahkan jalan aku menghadap Kau. Hati ini masih berada di landasan fitrah bila aku meminta jodoh yang baik. Jodoh yang akan terima aku seadaanya. Jodoh yang akan bawa aku pergi ke syurga. Tapi sekarang, jodoh tu terasa macam jauh. Orang kata, jangan sampai jadi macam, yang dikejar tak dapat, yang dikendong berciciran. Aku nak jadi baik. Nak jadi anak yang solehah. Making both of my parents feel the worth lahirkan aku di dunia. Nak jadi kakak yang baik. Kakak yang bimbing adik adik. Nak jadi adik yang baik, yang menyenangkan hidup abang nya. Nak jadi perempuan yang baik.

Ibu. Akak anggap apa yang akak bagitahu ibu. Every single step taken. From the realization. To the steps taken. Doakan perubahan itu jadi habit . Jadi sebab untuk akak apply untuk ke syurga di here after. Itu semua janji akak pada ibu. Be with me. Thanks for including me in you dua's. Ayah Ibu Abang Adik-adik, I ponder upon my future. Thanks for considering me in your dua's. Still I want to be with you guys dekat sana.

Fears of A-level. Aku tahu ramai yang berharap. Ramai yang letak harapan. Mudahkan jalan.

Cure the fear. Harapkan perubahan jadi habit. Allah, aku tahu selama ni kau tunjukkan jalan. Baru sekarang hati rasa terang nak tengok jalan. Aku taknak lalai lagi. I know I've gone far astray. Tak berani nak curb diri sendiri dari dulu. Sebab aku tahu diri ni tak banyak lagi amal. Sungguh aku tak sedia lagi. Tapi mati tu tak kira aku sedia atau tak. Sedang mempersiapkan diri.

Aku tak nak jauh lagi.

The most soothing musics should be Al-Quran recital. 

If I had one more chance.

Assalamualaikum.

Selalu rasanya cakap macam ini, well even though aku tahu, tak baik nak cry over split milk.

Tapi I always wish for one. More. Chance.
To tell you its even hard to forget you. Even if I know you've forget me . I may only live in your memories. Why it seems easy on you. Its not easy for me. Tapi its like overtimes I tell myself supaya jangan terlalu drag dengan past. Well kadang kadang I do feel that you've fade away. Tapi ada masa, not even single thing about you went away. Dari jauh, aku selalu doakan kau akan live well. Doakan yang kita akan jumpa dengan the right person at the end. Doakan yang kau excel here after . Sebab aku sayang. Sebab tu kau ada dalam doa. :') fades away. I am strong enough. Try me.



One more chance. Even though I know that I would never get the one chance.

Perfect Match.

Post ini mungkin berbaur fangirling yang over serta bunyi gross mengada ngada dan loghatt  yang tak dapat dibendung.

Okay aku tak tahu kenapa tapi I am one of the fan of Perfect Match. A reality show from China which basically its the idea of tempat-mencari-jodoh-giteww.  So thanks to NTV7 . Ohhh. Biasanya dia tayang hari Sabtu pukul 6 something and Jumaat at 1.00 am. So biasanya memang aku sanggup stay up ye nak tengok Perfect Match omnomnomnom :3

Maybe its because aku baru lepas tengok episode where Liu Ting Ting akhirnya dapat someone yang macam gila gila gila gilaaaaaaa suka dia. Every single that she wears every week, omoo the guy knew every single thing. Memang datang Perfect Match sebab nak express his love to her. Oemmgee. Terharu makk nokks. Adorable gila laki tu, hensem ye hensem. Koreaaaaaaa *fangirling all over again* *fainted out* , Aku yang perempuan ni pun suka tengok Liu Ting Ting ni every week, like veghy positive . Senyumm sepanjang masa. Oh. Oh Oh. So asiaaan aa dia punya dressing sebab dia rarely pakai seksi meksi ni. K aku macam Joyah bagi review dressing red carpet je gaya.

What makes I could fangirling over Perfect Match ialah kerana Cikgu Le Jia yang hensem. Eh. Well we can see 24 types of woman on the stage. Pembawakan personaliti yang berbeza. Sometimes bila the guy on the stage decide on woman yang likee erkss erkss , aku rasa macam nak sepuk jeee dia lelaju sebab buta. Eh haha. Hormonal disorder juga berlaku kalau the guys yang appeared dari elevator tu hensem kuasa cubic. And kalau yang turun tu macam suam suam kuku kaki jari, kita boleh siap judge : Mamat ni konfemm balik tangan kosong. Hahaha. Tu belum siap buat conclusion yang kalau ada Video dari kawan kawan tu, biasanya last video tu akan mengecewakan.

Mungkin siapa yang membaca ni tak faham apa yang aku merapu unless you watch Perfect Match. Coolio gittuuuuu :3 . K done.

*kau tengok semangat tak semangat aku snap gambau* 
this is the LINK where the Korean Guy bawak dia pergi :') even without the subtitle. Erghh Y U SHO SWEET. 


I wish you happy ever after. Mungkin kami tak saling mengenali. Well even kalau dia baca aku tulis ni, sepatah haram konfem dia tak faham. Takpe takpe. I am just glad you've finally meet your long lost-love mate.

Enough said. Cheering for Perfect Match. awwwwh awwwh.

Seorang perempuan bermuka garang.

Aku baru ada feeling feeling camne nanti masuk court. Well even sebenarnya aku tak bercadang nak masuk bab bab litigation dalam legal profession, but when my History lecturer suddenly appoint me " Awak ni ada muka masuk litigation and I was like in the mood of  " eh since when ni , aku nak kerja in bank je . eh apa ni apa ni  " *sambil mengangguk kepala. See how tak tally aku punya anggukan dengan fikiran. Eish.

Mungkin sebab muka perempuan ni garang dan serious almost the time. Hasrat untuk kelihatan Ayu tidak berjaya sama sekali. Oh menangisi diri sendiri. Sebab tu appointed masuk litigation. Erks.

Ponder upon the future. Mixed up feelings. At some particular time aku rasa excited tahap giga. Well at the same time, aku google google jugak practical experience orang yang revolve dalam judiciary ni, well said yang theoretically should be damn it easier than the reality. *even sekarang yang theory takde la easy mana* But I do believe, through out time, we'll learn how to deal with the stress and go with the flow. Macam dulu , masa form 1 , rasa PMR tu susah gila tahap mendewa, tapi bila dah makin tua *ehek ehekk * takdelah susah mana *poyo* even masa dah lepas PMR , siap bragging kata " Alah PMR JE. " ahh ambik kau hormon brag ke laut.

Dah enam tahun bersama. #DeusExMachina #Girlfriend. An engineer to be. An actuary to be. A lawyer to be. From Sbpi Selandar to Intec. And for another one and a half-year, over the sea we fly. InsyaAllah. Bless Our Journey.

Mari tanamkan azam. Saya nak jadi peguam. Saya boleh :) passions. Drive me.

So bila Allah pilihkan satu jalan. I know He'll guide Me through.
When things seems hard to deal and to cope with. I know He'll help me through.
Sebab takkan aku diuji kalau tak mampu. Aicewahh bermotivasi gitu :)

YOU and US

You could randomly be anyone. You might be the one who happened to read this. Even the heart already meant YOU for someone. A person. Gender should be unspecified here. Well I still had the another side of me. All those mushy feelings, I feel the complete gross on it but somehow it's just couldn't be resist   . Or what now? 

To You.

Live well. Anywhere you're living. Just glad knowing that you're still breathing lively. Yes I do admit I stalk. Because I care. Its enough . Knowing that you're doing good. From far. Maybe you don't really feel that You is You. But nevermind. Its just my memories should be the one who be blamed for this. No, I don't have any single  regret stalking you. Cukuplah sekadar memandang dari jauh. Couldn't ask for more.

I include you always in my dua's. Well with no clear intentions. Just praying that you'll be bless entirely. The fact that we're not talking or even interacting now, its okay. Mungkin salah hati ini sebab masih sayang? Ke. Kot. Kan. Eh.

Gelak sendiri. Drag sangat kau ni. Kan.

By the way. Sem 2 dah mula bagi hint hint hectic. But then, I wanted to feel the tranquility. Oh Allah bless the life. The journey. its hard but I know, you won't test me beyond my limit. :)

To US.

Allah. Aku rasa aku macam bertatih semula nak cari siratul mustaqim. Apply Al-fatihah dalam setiap solat tapi terkesannya tak pernah. Trying to be good. Every day. Together dengan orang orang yang meaningful dalam hidup. Ain Aqila. I guess Allah tengah bagi clear hikmah kenapa kita sama sama dekat Intec. We or is it just me, wasted my 18. Jauhkan diri dari rumah Allah, cari keseronokan dunia tanpa henti. Well I couldn't express how grateful and thankful I am because we share the same new year resolutions. Moga Allah mudahkan jalan kita. Sebab aku tahu yang kita share almost the same fear. When people easily said : Untunglahh oversea bagai. We do know that its not that easy. Yes mata yang pandang tak akan faham bahu yang pikul. I want the friendship be one of the reason aku seek jannah later. We really grown up. Preparing the strong base to start our adulthood years. Glad I have you guys. Terus kuat.

Yes. Dulu aku admit, pergi surau sebab peraturan kata macam tu masa kat Selandar. Habis peraturan, belum tinggalkan sekolah, surau ke mana, jemaah ke mana. Bila masuk Intec, peraturan tak ketat mana. Lagi rasa bebas. Tapi bebas buat rasa perit. Amat dalam.

Allah. Izinkan aku bertaubat.

Bersyukur.

Dependency.

Well Assalamualaikum :) Ku Akui *I'm struck by the arrows of love : Suara Hafiz was like amazingly adorable kuasa lapan belas * yang daku sedang berjimba kerana merasakan bahawa semua assignment telah dilakukan :). @SBPStudents tweet that SBP student finding all the ways #AJL . Gahhh so sbp student maaaaan. Absolutely true. I mean by reminiscing the memories back in Selandar. 

Seronok pulak when you accidentally found something interesting when you do some sort activity called STALKING. Proudly says that I am good in that. Well I just hope I am good in my studies, at least sehebakk aku stalk. Mihmihmih. Miaahahahaha. Tak lawak najwa. Langsung. Okay brag sampai ke laut. Kau wajar dihidangkan dengan cicak masak asam pedas. By the way its a long time since I do blogwalking : once I deleted my previous blog and the account : I merely stop blog walking. 

I got this one habit. Where I depend on something like really bad. And I've been realizing it but just today I realized that : I am a way too much dependent to that thingy. Apakah? Adakah thingy itu sejenis manusia bernama pakwe? *eiuuu gross , finger cross -,-' * Or what? Or some more? K takpayah nak over sangat laaaaaa kan . Its A BALM. BALM : tahu balm apa tak? *soalan erkkk* 

I got this constant habit. Since when, I guess since I am in highschool. I never had any sorts so-called-migrain and mintak jauhh fuhh fuhhh ameeen. But I guess its because of fluuu that I had early in the morning when I woke up. And for certain reasons, kalau rasa macam loya *what kind of symptoms you had for years ni , but then, it rarely happen I tell you ** Here comes the Balm to help. Where I always had one inside my bag. My truly fast saviour. Miahahha. Because I really wanna a fast cure. If I can't get it to sooth my iarghhh moment, I'll tend to stress up and be like a complete monster . 

I haven't do any google search : My online doctors for this type of dependency. By the way, I am person who google on symptoms because first I hate clinics. The gross smell , So dengan phobia cenggini kau berangan nak jadi pharmacy dulu? Sila terjun ke Amazon. Second, I trust people experiences rather than the doktor. Kenapa? Because over times,I went for klinik kerajaan and the actually ain't helping me that much through my memories, like curing scars on my cheek, they gimme all sort of antibiotics with no cream? Or what now?At least you should gimme something that I can apply it on my skin. Even there's un-fortunate day I had a terrible stomach ache after my SPM days , they even curse me with RM 90 ++ *Its my aunt paying miahhaa * , Am I doing some sort of illegal abortion here? Because I learn economics, I guess I just had an assymetric information moment there. OH SORRY DOCTORS, lawyer to be macam aku ni memang mulut sampah sikit, cakap ikut suka hati sendiri. Gahhh its my blog. No offense. I guess I can make one post hatred on this. Ohh Oh.. panjang pulak tiba part ni. I got this Iatrophobia <-- fears meeting doctors. Or even dentist. 

image

Oh I had this kind of face. Meeting doctors. Itu pun berangan nak kahwin dengan doctor T.T

Well I guess. Macam drug addict pulak. Now I am lessen'ing my dependency on the BALM.
Trying to be more realistic. More likely having a good healthy lifestyle. Oh yeah still practicing :)

Misinterpretation of Cinta Islamik.

Jangan sekali pakai agama untuk overshadow maksiat.

Benda simple : Macam kau mencuri, but then kau kata, saya mencuri untuk menderma duit di masjid . Well at the very first place, niat nak menderma tu dah betul, cuma cara nak menderma tu salah. 

Sama macam konsep cinta islamik : Untuk seek redha Allah dalam your-so-called-Cinta-Islamik. Niat dan betul, cuma cara yang korang  pakai : Like having a constant 'haram' relationship couldn't make any difference. Still salah dalam agama. Haram won't be a halal. 

I come across reading like a lot of this kind of Cinta Islamik. Does it like using "Ana" " Antum" "Anti" can make your relation should be accepted? Or even " Ana mencintai Anti sampai ke syurga *even sebenarnya ayat ni diutarakan masa you guys takde official " Aku terima nikahnya... " . Nampak macam, Oh mann, sweetnya Ya Allah. Bunyi ana anti tu dah arabic arabic.  The way the expressed their love is just unaccepted for me. In any senses , BY just using Ana Anti tu, menghalalkan hubungan ke? Accepted ke dalam agama?

Just wanted to say, Cinta itu fitrah. As in like everyone will fall in love. Tapi, don't you guys dare to make your love jadi Fitnah. Fitnah kan hukum dia sama macam membunuh? Because you're involving you religion inside your relation, you're like killing your own agama. 

Jangan bangga dengan hubungan yang belum mampu mendekatkan diri dengan Tuhan. Sebab cinta tu sendiri own by Allah, bila bila masa dia boleh tukar rasa sayang jadi benci. Kalau rasa macam taknak jilat balik ludah sendiri, tak perlu buat status sayang-dia-sampai-ke-syurga. Yakin dah ke dengan hubungan haram tu boleh jadi sebab masuk syurga? VALUE.



Biarlah ia tersurat di dalam doa, tersirat di dalam hati

People who live absorbed in this romantic man-woman
relationship, are often unaware of the dangers into which they have
put themselves. Because of the fact that they have followed their cues
since childhood from a misguided society, without knowing that the
Qu'ran is their only guide to the right path, they are completely
unaware that the way they have been living is a wrong in the sight of
God. Because they live their lives without cognisance of God, they
become trapped in a mire of ignorance, though, as we said before, they
believe they are on the right way. However, because they have no faith
in God, their wisdom and understanding have become blind

harun-yahya :) 

 A love with an official relationship : By mean, a halal relationship. 

Jom Kahwin.

K meh tolak tepi segala tekanan untuk minggu pertama Semester 2 dengan bercerita perihal kahwin. K putus fius. But just a wise reminder, I write doesn't mean like I mean it. Just feel like writing it for fun. Despite knowing marriage is not a thing that you can play with, but please, no serious reader here. ( typical retis , Oh come on. I know those people who care, they stalk ) aicewah. Ini bukan post membangun.

Faktor menulis : I am 19 by years. Oh come on. haha

Mari berangan. 

I am not doing some sort of campaign here. Campaigning JOM KAHWIN as in like JOM HEBOH. wakaka fun gila tahap funfair kalau wedding banyak booth siap buat jual jual bagai . Buat dekat dataran, 2 hari berturut, ending konsert. Oh tang mana nak dapat keberkatan tu? Kau buat pameran ke hapa? haha.

Just had some conversation with my law mates regardless how I am going to make my wedding later. Hambekk kau hormon kahwin merembes rembes. ( I got like ergh moment here. Merembes? Kind of word is that? Why it sounds iuycks? haha ) .

The concept would be easy. I don't really matter how my wedding day looks like. ( kononnya . Kang time betul betul, mau berkajang wish perempuan ni ) I matter the life after that day . Oh come on. Money is something that ensure your happiness. Erk. Starlight sekali. Make sense apa? Kan?


You know how scared I am by just looking at all current wedding thingy. Just By Seeing I can sense how much money  flows for one thing. Like Khemah satu hal, belum masuk deco deco sekarang yang nak bunga bagai : Oh I can sense all those fresh flower cost an amount of Ringgit. RM RM RM . Belum include makan, hantaran , hapa lagi : well because of this matter , I could know kenapa rate zina over years meningkat. Because nak buat wedding Kelas Kauuu Jahh. Instead of doing so, spending a 'haram' night that doesn't really worth thousands should be okay. Sighing for zina.

Oleh sebab itu nanti aku kahwin, nak buat satu evolution in this demanding era. Well. We'll see *muka sinis*

Makanan kahwin sekarang semua macam cliche gila kan. Tak nasi minyak, nasi putih, lauk beratur. Acaqq buah, acaqq sayuqq, ayam kambing bagai. Ni belum masuk wedding millenium dengan chocolate fountain dia, candy's side dia. What some more?  Fuuuuuish , lets do some calculation here : *mentang-mentang hambik math, brag yang amat*

One ayam weight around 3 kilos. 1 kilo's worth 8.99. Aku ni part tak update dengan harga ayam semasa. Sila faham. So an ayam cost you : Ce kira sendiri. haha. Well you should count those lembu and kambing . Count also guest kau yang list kemainnn hah. Belum masuk, nak buat grant grant gituu dekat dewan. Mau sakit kepala?

So my evolution is to have : Keautiau Goreng bersama fishballs. As the idea of having Ice Kosong ditentang : I shall say okay to Syrup. Miahaha. *meskipun I firmly believe yang idea ini bakal ditentang 100 x 250 billion kali oleh sedara sedara mahupun kawan seangkatan. Labelled kedekut in a way * Duhhh, what should I care? Its my husbands money, I as a veghhhy veghhhy good wife to be should secure his money expenditure for the sake of future. Aicewah :3

Deep inside my heart, I always want a very very humble wedding. Even if one day, we spouses *uhukk spouses uhukk uhukk * can afford a so-called-Grand-Wedding , I still want something simple with barakah. Bersederhana kan lebih baik?

Done. Kau tengok, kahwin punya pasal, kemainnnn panjang idea dia. Well I wish my studies neuron pun work well cenggini. Well I know, I would not be allowed to end my single era early. Based on my assumptions. Wakakaka :3 Masih sedar diri "p


Back to work. Study Najwa.

Believe in HIM. He never go against His Words.

"...But it is possible that you dislike a thing which is good for you, and that you love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knows, and you know not."

al-baqarah 216.

Assimilating the reality. How they treat me. Believe. Percaya dengan kata kata dia. To get the tranquility, you must get close to Him. You know the fact kan? Read and Heads Up. Apa yang nak stress stress sangat kan? 

You tengah galas banyak amanah dekat belakang. 

Najwa. Fighting.  

Rise and Shine.

Rindu Melaka. I shall be thinking about going back. Turn down by emotions and the money too. Heartbroken.

I could have more clear reason why I write early in the morning. Well actually I don't. I write without purpose. Gahhh I need someone to understand. At least by supporting the idea of me choosing what I want and where I want to pursue my degree. Enough with ONLY that if I don't want more tears to streamed down again and again .  After having suam-suam kuku punya breakfast. Biscuits. Couldn't ask for more. Iiiaaaargh. Currently reading History and still its against my will to take this subject. I know that I am NOT that into-english-reading-stuff even english  novel doesn't work on me. But still, I am stung by my own words which I promise to myself and anybody else surround me that I'll TRY.

Strained. Devastated. Please.

So History really drive my emotions to acidic values. Still searching what drive my passions on Sejarah back in highschool. The era scoring 90+ . Language matters. I do care. Oh mana pergi semangat?

Sungguh aku berkobar-kobar nak masuk Sem 2. Learn new things. Even sebenarnya in black-in-white , aku ni sebenarnya tengah enroll A-level for overseas. I do realize the reality. But. Tapi y'know the kind of feeling when people ask, "pergi UK ke nanti? " You eventually answer " InsyaAllah KALAU fly , UK insyaAllah " . Because we A-level students  *or is it just me * were uncertain. To fly, your results matter. Ielts exams. To go above the cut-off points. Well I wish people could understand. The journey ain't that easy.

Tak pernah rasa nak cakap, tak bersyukur be the chosen one. Tapi somehow in a way. I am still a human by scientific. Result sem 1 really affect my life. Erghhhhhhh. WHY Y NO UNDERSTAND ME? why you make the journey harder than before. Why cant anybody understand how slow I am dealing with numbers. Why can't you people understand that I need to focus more on my A2 ( full subject) rather than making my head pissed off by the AS subject. Why?

The reasons why I can't really stand History at my first sight :

Its an AS subject. Well this semester I had my MATH for my A2. So I need to spare more time for my mushhy dovey Math.  For some people, they're easy on math. But not me * I talk with my past experiences* . So attentions should be given more on math. Oh yea? Kan?

Aku ni sebenarnya layak distar-light beribu kali sebab penuh dengan negative charges. Repel on most everything positive. Well I hurt many people in this two days time. I am sorry.

I realize yang Everyone born with their own shoes. So They could never live in your shoes. Even if they try to wear it, it doesn't suit their size. So to expect people to understand you, its ridiculous . So aku fahamlah yang aku memang tak layak untuk difahamkan. Sedih.

Ya Allah. You know how hard for me to survive these past days. You know where my capabilities stand. Aku tak putus putus doa untuk Kau tunjuk yang terbaik. Even if I don't like it, aku mohon pinjamkan sikit kekuatan. At least, at least it can help me inside.

Percaya.



Looking at the bright side.

Maybe its because I am repeating You and I Both Love contributing to the post tittle.

Well actually I am looking at the bright side. I am.

Because I know I should try before I say no. Again I can't help if the devil side of me turn me down.
Because I know, to love you should get to know. Tak kenal maka tak cinta. I guess assumptions overwhelmed me and affect the decision as well. Screw those " Tapi "

krik...krikk...krikkk.

Persetankan segala benda yang buggering inside my head. I am just trying to breath lively here. I tend to merepek like over times. So who care. Its my blog.


  • How I wish Shah Alam menangis sekarang. And I've been wondering. Boleh tak nak balik Melaka? 
  • Oh if I get to buy snow. I'll fill up my room with all those snows. Play all around. Sleep with the negetive tempretures. 
  • Nanti kahwin nak buat simple je. Instead of makan all those costly foods, lets have keatiau goreng. Or laksa? Or mihun goreng with some fishballs? Air, make it ais kosong. 


WHY. SO. SERIOUS. even sebenarnya memang tak synchronize langsung points to points.

Its a long time since I had people who can bare and could follow up all my lame jokes. People who can actually sambung jokes tu jadi seronok gila. Oh miss those school time. Sebab masa sekolah je jumpa kawan kaki merapu ke laut.

What I do on weekends. Hm. I'm not going out this week I guess. It would always be sleep. Read. Study. Because I hardly watch movies. Ergh abcdefghijkls.

Adios. Aku ni membosankan . Aku tahu.

The things we dislike might be the best for us.

Assalamualaikum.

Its been a gloomy day for me. Exclude my awesome economics class. Aaaa not to forget my Pure Math class. Math is isn't that bad for my first impression. Even I am a bit slow. Well najwa, biar lambat asal tak careless. Aicewaah tu belum kira, lambat jugak, careless lagi. Oh numbers. Treat me better.

Well, after a while I do realize I write frequently when I am sad. Whenever i feel like my luahan hati dan perasaan doesn't really help. Heh? Apa ini?

So mengingatkan diri sendiri. Its just my second day but I tell you, my head feel dizzy. Penat. Aishhh. Aishhhh this kinda feeling. Can't be help aaa?

Things would not always be as what we wished for and what we expect it to be like. Easy. You know this is how real situation treats you but yet sighing over the spilled milk. Miahahaha.

Talking to myself. Well this is veghyy random.


K macam nilah. Bukan tak boleh buat sebenarnya. But I feel like I can't.

Tapi mana boleh cakap macam tu. You should say you can.

But kalau benda tu beyond capability sendiri macam mana. I know myself okay. 

But you should give it a try najwa. Tak adil nak judge one class macam tu.

 Its not about judging, its about me. Math je boleh buat kepala pusing pusing.

 Math? Come on laaa najwa. You kena rajin buat latihan je kot. 

But then, seeing others buat math laju gila tahap 3000mbps , aku rasa down okay. Senang je kot kau cakap? Try la buat sini. Talk in my shoe. Boo you.

Boo'ing me now? I'm already in you shoe gila. Persetankan jelah semua tu. Kau tahu kau memang slow, buat slow slow. 

Tapi?

 Apaaaaa tapi tapi. 

History, I dislike the new erghhh environment. 

Come one, you ni selalu slow nak adapt. Sampai ke laut ke nak duduk sorang diri. Shoot yourself. 

Aku penat okay? I want to do something that I can score. 

So now you're saying you cant score history la sekarang , HAH? 

weh jangan marah aku boleh?  Benci aaaa cakap dengan kau.

Najwa. You boleh buat. Boleh Boleh. Cakap boleh.

Wehhhhhh kau menyeksa aku tahu.

Jangan jadi pengecut. Have a faith Najwa. Faith Faith. Kau sumpah pengecut kalau kau give up . Boo. 

I am NOT a coward !!!

So prove it !!!

We'll see. I'll prove it, I'll punch you.

Go ahead. Punch yourself.

I'll punch myself. Later. Thanks another me. 

The idea of the Second Semester.

Assalamualaikum :) Just had some freaking cats hormone distraction on reviewing subjects for the second semester. Feel like licking cats fur. *dah kenapa wanita ni T.T *. Ngiaaaau ngiauuuu. I am scarayhh till the end. I am.

So I guess its better for to stop the reviewing thingy first. Because Its Is So So Erghhhhhh T.T I tell you its makes my eyes even bigger in diameter. And the mouth too. Jatuh rahang sampai ke lantai. K ni hiperbola . But naaaaaa, as always I hate my typical-first mindset. Y U NO POSITIVE NAJWA? O.O

I would like to share what I'm going to take for my second semester for this A-level Law.

A2 ( the full subject ) should be Mathematics and Statistic . English Language. Economics.
AS ( the partial subject ) should be History. And considering Psychology as well. Because by seeing the course outline for the history, my mind straightly ask for the second thought . My mind? Like seriously? Yes.

So ( I freaked myself by using So, So at the beginning of the sentences yucks. ) like again and again.

Today was my first class for the semester. Basically its a session of My Name Is- I am from - Dah kahwin ke belum? Erk. One good thing about intec is I rarely heard people who asked their teachers " Dah kahwin ke belum? *muka kasanova tahap sepuluh* ". Kau tengok bertapa gemilangnya mindset  manusia manusia di intec ni. ( Miahaha suddenly jadi macam Joyah Gossip ni kenapa ) Shoot me.

I got myself a checklist for my 2013. Oh its new year kan? Happy NEW YEAR BLOG sayang. And the readers if it happened to anyone who read this. ( kau bajet retisss pehal? ) Dui bu ci. Just my usage of words getting bad days by days. Blame all those novels. Miahahaha.

I wanted to be a better me. I couldn't list out on the blog how I define A BETTER ME. But currently I am doing what I've listed in my mind. I dont really write on the so-called-diary because I had no time. Eh bukan. 24 jam itu tidak cukup. Its just me yang malas nak cari pen and jot it down. Let it be here ( dalam otak )

So, before I get stress down for nothing. Its better for to just checked the ideas of the second semester like what I am gonna learn. On what subtopics I shall focus more. Yadaaa yada. So far, the new lecturers , I said okay for our very first meeting. Its a long day today. ( sampai pukul 3 je pun bising kemain ) BUT yeah we got 4 or 3 months to discover the chemistry between us. Aicewaaah. Aicewaaah. I'll sure give my best commitment in class. InsyaAllah. I hope so. 

Thought of having leisure time like in semester 1. All gone. Kau pun satu. Hidup nak senang je. Mana boleh =='

So ( again , I just can't help myself ) I'm gathering spirits for inner me. Telling myself that I can do it. Because there's a tweet come across my eye-sight from Prof Dr Muhayyah Omar. " Cakap benda benda yang positif pada diri sendiri, like Saya Boleh. Saya Pandai. Saya.... *list goes down* for 21 days. Then you'll see the difference " Oh yeah. So gonna do it from now onwards.

Saya pandai Mathemathics.
Saya seorang Wanita Solehah. Anak yang baik.

Saya seorang yang comel. Thanks for whom who realize the fact. Sepuk sekali nak?

Back to first idea on how I 'm gonna deal with my college life is always.

Belajar untuk seek redha Allah. Belajar kerana Allah. Seek His pleasure. Its ilmu. Ingat yang tak semua ada peluang to be paid for studies. You should be veghyy veghyy grateful. Determine. You can do it. Jyeaaaaah. with Allah blessing. 

Adios people. Doakan saya kuat. I am. InsyaAllah.

Verily, with hardship comes EASE [Al-Qur&#8217;an 94:5]requested by&#160;: http://ingeniouslove.tumblr.com/
see more posts at musliMagnet!
remind me this. Always.