Book review

You might also want to be at your twentieth chapter.

May 14, 2016

I woke up today with an insight of some successful people at my age. Looking at how far they've reached , for one second ( I bet more ) , I'm pondering upon what I've been doing in life. What if I am that person who hardly success in dunya as well as akhirat? It be either two. Either a booster or not a very good kind of motivation to start the day. It makes you feel like a partial looser for not making any effort , or really , a minimal kind of effort when someone else takes no break in their journey . I feel bad - of course , can't help. But to choose to ignore these things are happening all around , that is certainly not a vivid wise choice. 

( what about don't compare your first chapter with someone's else twentieth chapter ) but life concerns competition or was it just me? I'm still comparing though and that thoughts doesn't seems to move away from my mind.

I thought it will be fun , to have that lay back and relax moments , I was happy yesterday , talking about the mouth watering KFC Coleslaw - you come to appreciate the full flavour of chopped vegetables , with the right amount of sweetness and savoury . as we're eating coleslaw we ordered from a pizza place that taste less best than what we had in Malaysia . Talking about your forever cravings of fried ( fresh ) seafood , its not that we can't get one decent fish dish here in UK , its just a bit hard . You got to give extra effort to taste fresh seafood ( extra penny too )  , the non-fillet fishes with their heads and tails. You may gave up before everything and savour it later when we touched down Malaysia. 

You imagine , I've been happily thinking about how to put these flavour kind of words up on the blog , got excited as I finished reading Me Before You in two days . That was remarkable , at least to me. Hardly find the passion to start reading non-academical books ( but still dare to put her hobbies are reading ) I read - online , hahaha you never know how I really love reading free sample books on Google store. But I used to read more than what I do now.

( yes I read it in the middle of revision days ) ( because I recklessly start reading ) I only intended to just flip through the pages ( I need to finish it fast or else it gets stuck in my head ) 

I had always fancied Malay novels , bought some in Malaysia and even brought it here ( still on the shelf no worries , I hardly touched them haha )  , but the ME who read and submerged into the world designated by the author - is hardly seen these days. But as soon as you're into it , the world had become so silent not even a slightest sound for you to blend into the author's setting  , as if its only you with the characters and you imagining that what if you're at Lou's position and you have done so much thing for someone you loved but ... ( spoiler alert but who cares its spoiled to everyone already haha ) , how the author justified the way he took away his own life , I was still thinking whether what you wished for aligned with what He commands. Whether by Will reverted as Muslim will change his mind - there can be a significant difference I bet. 

... But the thought of imagining sweet-crisp-milky-savoury-pucuk-ubi-masak-lemak vanished , the thought of what is like to be in Lou's shoes , vanished in the air . As some other people talking about career development , how to push themselves further. Time to take these things seriously huh Najwa?

Maybe you should. Dunya ( look at how Y and I makes so much difference hahaha or its just me ) is a no place for rest , its a place for you to give your best - the sweet ending that will make your efforts worth the while . You can't just abandon your responsibility as a human to live your life to the fullest. You got to muster up your strength. People might said that run for akhirah ( lets see whether a T and a H makes it sounds different eh ) and the world will fall behind you , but for expecting it will fall right on place , doesn't seems to be quite right , it goes both way , both requires effort , you got to be the best kind of Muslim version , that succeed in the world as well the hereafter. 

world is yet so demanding and these are never enough. 

nor that I dare to say I'm tired. You don't even try that much. ( You still got to compare yourself with people who've done a mile stones of dakwah ) 

It feels like I might be running , but I feel like I'm permanently just a little bit behind the rest of the field... 

Self babbling ramblings

First May post haha

May 11, 2016

anneyeong - hello 

sangat lama dah tak menjenguk Baedadari , its not about setting the priority right but I loose my interest in writing online , because I write a lot on papers nowadays , ( I wrote at least 5 pages of answer for each question for tort , I answered three , hence the fifteen pages of written essay over three hours , no good for the pulpa trees hahahah )  , ( padahal banyak je membebel dalam tumblr ) , I dont know but I have this different preferences on where to put my rant , when its a bit personal and it touched me personally , it won't be on instagram  or facebook neither blog or twitter , it will definitely be on Tumblr. Like how a page of surah touched my heart that day , sebab banyak social media yang aku ada , my Tumblr is far reached by humans , aku rasa dia macam safe zone jugak to let out what I had in my mind , Instagram is merely for appreciation and random rindu Malaysia haha. Twitter had the most random thoughts I had in mind . While blog is for something not specific , I used to write a lot about guidance on UPU , or pengalaman di INTEC , Alevels and stuff , but I don't feel like doing it here , its not that my Cardiff life is boring , but I feel like I'm growing older and keep more things to myself ( yeay or nay? ) haha people kept searchingthe keywords I mentioned above , may it benefits you in some ways , though I might hate the person ( me in the past ) yang menulis. My jargons might be weird I'm sorry. Thats whats best I could provide you. 


I was thinking last night , in the middle of land law revision , it really stressed me out because I hardly recall the land law memories , everything seems so new to me , but its getting better today , thanks to the revision books and I even bought a problem question guidance for 5 pound online yesterday , without hesitation. Sebab I spent 15 pound for facial so for a revision guide , like why not? Ahaaa talking about the facial thing , its my very first time in my life doing that and I'm all excited , you finally thought of something to pamper yourself huh Najwa? 

Lets get back to what you're thinking last night , I thought of building even higher walls for myself , and not allowing others to penetrate through it or climb over the wall and have the chances to hurt me in the future. I'm just going to be this selfish , for the moment. I've been secretly loving the weather outside , its still raining for two days in a row , because it feels like Malaysia , the scent of the calming rain . I've been keeping the windows open days and night , because the sound and the scent of the rain reminds me of Malaysia , and it kinda motivates me to study more ( though people might say this weather is the best for you to continue sleeping ) . The rain is like washing away all the pains I had inside me , whats with the fuss anyway , everybody faced heartbreaks , pain is common among human , it will eventually be washed away isn't it ? Be the strongest woman yourself . The world may deny you , for who you are , but someone might be praying hard for you to gather your strength. So instead of loosing the strength due to particular person , think about the blessings you had in life. You had things that people had been wishing for to have it in their life. 

The weeks had been tough for me , I forced myself to stay away from bed , starting from 8-9 am till after Isyak , thats a really long hours to go , I stop for eating and had time for myself with Him after Maghrib till Isyak. My tort paper went alhamdulillah , it was fine , though I might faced a five minutes blank taktahu nak mula jawab macam mana , but it went well insyaAllah. My next paper will be on the 23rd of May , that is super super long gap , but I came to like the gaps because it feels much better than cramping all four papers in few weeks , takkan lari Malaysia dikejar heh? haha . 

my legs trying to chill on the cruise hahaha 

Baedadari , ( I might change your name in the future jugak kot haha ) 
for signifying the ups and down , for whats published , for what stays in the draft , thank you. You are perhaps a part of the dead wall I build around me , because dead things like you don't hurt . Just what is your problem sounding so negative Najwa just what ( jerit dekat telinga beroktaf lapan ) hahahha. 

Himnae Najwa , Allah ada. Allah sent you strength through your families and friends. so stop the fuss. hew hew. 

Himnae = stay strong , am I right? 2% of me is Korean now , meanwhile 80% of me is a Jawa who don't speak Javanese , but craving to eat petai at the moment hahahha aku asyik tengok instagram orang masak sambal petai udang , its not that I like petai , tapi sebab kita dah tak rasa and tak jumpa dia sekarang , we tend to miss it. Just like I loathe seeing cheese on pisang goreng because I had enough cheese here because its obviously murah . Manusia en , bila takde depan mata baru merangkak mengenal erti menghargai miaiahhahahhahaa. kbai. 

eh masih lagi nak menulis , 

Its already May , the favourite month of the year. May Allah bless the May people eh haha.