Little notes

A sentimental value , thank you Baby Bluewoo.

January 30, 2016

This could perhaps be one of the most sentimental moment for me , perhaps the last blog post using my baby bluewoo ( the laptop ) ( tetiba ada nama ) ( NO I NAMED HER COUNTLESS TIMES before ) 

Baby bluewoo was supposed to turn four years old today ( ehems this year fyi sorry ) . I first bought it back in 2012 when my earlier notebook charger was ( severely I can say ) damaged tahap kalau nak charge laptop tu kena macam pusing pusingkan dia , erti kata lain, nazak boleh tahan. I bought bluewoo dengan setengah duit sendiri dan setengah ayah support , somewhere around RM 900+ masa tu. 

And baby bluewoo was there when I completed Alevels , was there with me buat coursework sepanjang semester empat , was there helping me with all the courseworks and tutorials masa first year. And I thought I could use it sampai habis degree but it seems like it was severely again , cracked ( tak tahu nak cerita macam mana ) , but I guess it happened sebab the loosen screw which aku dah tak nampak dah mana screw tu T.T . Not to mention , even lepas ada smart phone back in 2014 ( my mi3 is my first , first hand smartphone ) then ada mi pad for reading purposes ( hahahaha lebih dari reading purposes actually wakaka ) aku selalu rasa yang writing posts for blogs is much easier using the laptop ( sebab macam boleh jadi expressive lebih sikit ) , and like papers yang selalu ada for me to jot things down tanpa aku rasa being judged and of all time menerima semua sisi baik buruk aku , thats how bluewoo to me . It may be a piece of technology to any body else , a dead thing but to me , is a very close companion yang mungkin kalau dia boleh bercakap , dia saksi for all upside down moments bagi aku. Aku rasa aku orang yang sangat banyak sisi insecurities running down deep like the ocean , hence bluewoo could be one of the thing yang withstand aku punya insecurities yang berlambak tu. 

Over that four years , kadang orang yang pakai laptop aku for any kind of works or movie , people will always condemn how slow the processor is and aku selalu rasa kecik hati ( sikit ) when people say so and I  always tend to pujuk the laptop yang its doing so good for me , and kalau boleh nak jauhkan orang dari cakap benda yang buruk buruk pasal bluewoo ( lagi lagi kalau bluewoo is around hahah ) . I almost treat it as a human being isn't it? ( rasa psychotic pulak maihahahaha ) . 

there's this one tough time when my google chrome refused to function in my laptop and I was in the middle of the semester , ( I was busy ) and selama beberapa bulan tu jugak aku dengan penuh kesabaran pakai internet explorer ( berkelajuan negetif siput babi hahah ) . tapi whats with the fuss anyway , aku rasa bluewoo tahan je kot segala jenis makian zaman jahiliyyah for being super duper duper slow. Dengan bluewoo jugak I first discovered how to have whatssap on my laptop ( miahahah ) I was a techno freak wasn't I ? ( golek masuk bakul kah kah ) , sebab masa Alevels everyone ada whatssap ( they own smartphones so no wonder ) and mula dah zaman zaman semua jenis group nak ada whatssap group , and masa tu I only own a partially dumb and smart phone ( dia smart for the ability to stay functioning over 4 -5 years now and sekali charge even play 200 songs for countless times , stays awake for more than a week wehee - Nokia pastinya where some people mistakes it as Blackberry ( sorok phone dalam tudung ) hahaha ) . And not wanting to feel left , dengan bluewoo I try to discover on how to have whatssap on the laptop which orang tahulah yang last seen contoh at 10 pm tu waktu aku dah tidur . Maka hilanglah satu insecurities dalam diri sendiri for not having a smartphone with whatssap inside it wakaka. 

despite people having interest on all the Mac books , Apple and stuff , I still stick to you watermelon miahahah. Because you never went wrong , always ikut je pace aku buat kerja , so kenapa nak tukar kau kan? eheks

Baby bluewoo , I will perhaps sell you soon ( tengok tahap kerajinan sekali lagi ) , and just so you know or you not , thank you. Very much for all these years. You had been so good that I can never know how to repay you. You worth more than the price I bought you. Despite ketidak sukaan ceqq terhadap warna biru , I still choose to have you at the very time I saw you at the shop. For withstanding , accompanying dari zaman Alevels ke degree , I even brought you all the way from Malaysia ( terharu sikit haha ) ke UK , kalau naik flight tu I always look at my bag carefully becasue you're in it , kot tetiba hang rebel nak jatuh ke kepala orang ( sebab letak beg kat atas kepala ) ( becasue bag moves in cabin hahahahhahaha logic guwe ). for those days I let you to sleep beside me before aku discover yang tak elok letak benda benda teknologi dekat dengan diri sendiri masa tidur miahahha. 

thank you bluewoo, terima kasih. yang banyak banyak terima kasih. :'(  
saranghae ;'( 

you might be in other people's hand over even separated to compartments , or being refurbished and no one knows , be good too in other people's hand , and be strong if you're about to become compartments , because parts of you will be beneficial for people tooo you know ! 

be good baby bluewoo. 

dah lama dia camni tapi kadang tu aku boleh je betulkan balik , tapi dah tiba masa you refused so well baby bluewoo. 


terima kasih bluewoo.

#theanisnajwamusafir

Can someone move my law school to Ireland?

January 24, 2016

So I just got back from Ireland yesterday , unlike other places which aku eagerly nak balik rumah and bergolek dalam duvett , I left Ireland with a very heavy heart. Kinda like attached tahap nak mintak Cardiff Uni pindahkan aku ke Ireland , sepanjang seminggu tu takdelah terfikir rindu Cardiff ke apa ( I was surprised too with myself haha ) 

Ireland trip was a langgar jelah kind of trip because my Humaira arranged it all , sounds ignorant enough? Yes I am. Sebab at first I was reluctant to spend a week in Ireland when I have two class tests this upcoming semester which is esok dan tulat. ( and I found myself cluelessly looking at the notes I did last week haha ) . So I did say NO to Humaira ( Humaira here is Iwani , my forever travelling partner , the best I could ever wished for ) , but the one week trip was not pricey at all ( which Cardiff - Birmingham - Belfast - Dublin - Cork - Galway - Dublin - Birmingham - Cardiff ) the transportation cost for the whole journey masuk two day trips at Belfast and Galway only cost me around 130 pound , ( jangan convert , kalau convert guwe tepuk dengan ekor bebiri ! ) . I still have my extra savings ( since I dont shop much this year - sekali lagi terperanjat dengan diri sendiri miahaahhaha pat bahu diri sendiri sambil menjeling ke arah syaitonirajim " kau kalah setan . kau kalah hahaha "  ) , and why not isn't it? 

I never thought pun nak jalan twice during winter break , sebab like last year pergi Scotland and pastu dahhhhh like why you need to travel twice in winter? but I must say , Ireland trip is worth the time spent. Sebab boleh jadi I kept saying NO to this Ireland trip sebab nak study , tapi its travelling that taught me a lot , contoh ( I got this travelling tarbiyaah masa Spain dulu )  ; kalau kita risau pasal masa , yang kita nak ialah keberkatan pada masa , so boleh jadi I spent a week at home tapi aku tak study pun and boleh jadi I only have my Sunday to study , tapi I fully utillize the whole day to revise back , sebab after all Allah pun yang pegang masa tu so why worry that much heh? Sebab kita tahu kita nak berjalan , we plan things ahead , like study awal ( sikit ) miahahhaha doakanlah kesejahteraanku wahai manusia manusia yang membaca har har . 

so each time we travel , kita mesti like set the reasons why we travel , I just don't do hadaf ( tujuan ) -less travels. ( walaupun compeletekan clueless dari mana nak ke mana , aku selalu bukak google sheet jaulah untuk tengok hadaf k haha )  Since yang travel ni me and my Humaira plus Widad , we named the jaulah as #JaulahHumaira . This time around , hadaf kitaorang is to tadabbur ( lihat dan mensyukuri , relate it with life ) alam. And next biggest aim is to meet akhawat Ireland ,  the sisters we met in various program macam Perhimpunan Musim Sejuk ( PMS )  and Journey of a Muslim ( JOM ) . 

The people whom I met in Ireland , despite sejuk gils ( when its spelled as GILS , the degree of sejuk is more than GILA hahha my logic ) compared to Wales weather , they offered me warmness like family does. People may said yang " Alah biasa la tu tetamu kan " , the fact that I never layan my tetamu like how they treat me , aku rasa sangat amused and tahap nak apply that comfy kind of treat dekat tetamu future ku miahaha. They treat us like a baby ,  makan tempat tidur semua , it feels like home . Aku sangat selalu ada masalah untuk tidur strangers house , tapi alhamdulillah seminggu hop rumah orang ke rumah orang , aku rasa sangat selesa . We ate together dalam talam when we're in Dublin ( rasa macam pergi PMS 2.0 haha ) , we have subuh tazkirah when we're in Cork , we ate a seriously daebak punya kebab when we're in Belfast and we communicate with many new strangers in Galway. 

To the people I met in Ireland , orang orang rumah ( the highlighted part tu nama rumah ) ( nak namakan rumah jugaklah camni haha )  , at Belfast  ( taktahu nama rumah Kak Nabila haha ) - kak Nabila and Kak Mali's house . Hiraa' - Najhan , Nadia and Kak Abin , Bushra - Kak Beilaa , Kak Ekin , Kak Nana , Kak Munirah  , Iman - Farah , Kak Miun ( who fetch us from the bus station ) , Kak Effah ( and there's more I couldn't recall )  , Hannan - Kak Najla , Kak Zakiah , Kak Huda  , Shantalla - Kak Mira , Kak Kira , Kak Nadia , Kak Sikin , Siraj - Kak Farashikin ( and many more , maaf I couldn't recall semua )  
- Thank you , terima kasih banyak banyak , despite busy dengan classes ( since almost all of them took medic ) , for treating us like babies ditatang ( virtually ) bagai minyak ( mungkin muka kot berminyak tapi sekarang kering hahah ) yang penuh. You guys inspired me in many ways , in any ways someone can be inspired , for making some ( a lot ) of time for us , hanya Allah je boleh balas your kindness. May Allah reward you guys with eternal blessings and good health , wealth and everything. 
Some people might said yang lamanyaaaa pergi Ireland seminggu , when there's not much things to see , like Giant Causeway , Rope Bridge , the Titanic place , the cave , parks , mosque and the wildlife park ( where semua tempat boleh kot jumpa ) , I still finds yang that one week berlalu dengan sangat sangat pantas. Serious tak rasa lama , dia terasa macam hari hari rasa bermakna gituuuu hahah . ( I sounds like loosing rhythm of writing over here ) ( nak kena polish part express feelings ) 

well anyway , aside from the main attractions in Ireland , macam Cliff of Moher semua , aku paling suka part pergi zoo in Cork. The Fota Wildlife Park !  HAHAHHAHA SERIOUSLY NAJWA , fyi zoo can be found anywhere in the world , tapi aku rasa tak ramai yang boleh tolerate this side of me , sebab aku rasa tak semua orang pun enjoy pergi zoo , like jumpa haiwan pastu? aside you can go to zoo dekat Malaysia pun . But since everyone agrees to go the wildlife park with me , I was so thankful. Nothing can ever express bertapa aku sangat bahagia boleh pergi zoo and talk to the animals , rasa nak nangis pun ada sebab its my forever wishlist to go to zoo in the UK hahahhaha aku boleh forever cakap dengan housemate yang aku nak pergi Bristol sebab nak pergi zoo ( not the suspension bridge har har ) .  Dulu kekecik pergi zoo for school trips and what you see are different kind of creatures yang sangat fancy but as you grow up , kau tak hanya lihat different kind of creatures , you see set of creatures yang share the same earth and they worship Allah even more than you do. Sebab kau tahu these creatures semua tengah berzikir pada Allah . Someone pernah cakap dengan aku when we're passing by a beach ( or I don't really remember ) " Deruan ombak ( air )  ni zikir zikir air pada Allah " since that aku nak selalu ajar diri sendiri supaya - pejam mata dan dengar alam berzikir through these nature sounds. And the wildlife park offers me this , the calmness yang other places tak boleh nak offer :') ( nangis ) ( I can still grasp that feeling , that day we went to the wildlife park ) 

Kita dah selalu sangat lalai dengan bunyi dunia , and we shall make efforts to be closer to Him through the nature. 

Aku rasa in Ireland , aku banyak berbalik pada fitrah. Dulu pernah baca satu theory scholar ni , which say " Humans tend to do good " which after that debated to be too aspirational. Tapi aku silently agree with the scholar yang Human do good bila aku spent a week here in Ireland. It wasn't too aspirational , and besides that , itu fitrah kot , orang suka pada kebaikan , dan tend untuk lakukan kebaikan. 

we travel to seek for more reasons to be closer to Allah. and when I said closer , its always YOU who knows how to indicate macam mana Allah ketuk hati tu to be closer to Him. Perhaps He strengthen the tautan hati between human and human , and these humans reminds you about Him , boleh jugak jadi yang kalau in the past we see alam and thats it , tapi lepas travel around , kita jadi hamba yang lebih bersyukur dengan dunia dan seisinya. 

its always You , who can define it. 

I put a lot of pictures dah kot in my instagram , so perhaps other kind of pictures below. 

the cliff of moher , level picisan punya photography. 

peacocks are not amused. Not amused at all. 

yuuuusideee

subhanallah scenery at the Rope Bridge ( my whatssap wallpaper now ) 

tengok jam ( eh dah pukul 11 pagi ahhahah k takde kaitan ) 

gambar masa nak travel to Birmingham sesubuh. Even way before subuh ahhahaa. first time travel sorang :') 

Little notes

Random thoughts looking at the past years post.

January 11, 2016

How did I write up to 24 POSTS , Excuse me its 24 POSTS for a month ( back in 2013 ) , I was in my second semester , the most hectic one , but excuse you again , whats with that numerous post heh? 

I was so glad that I deleted my previous blog , or I'll see myself crying - with the weird jargons * nangis * 

I read through post which includes all the ( in the * actions * contoh * tarik tudung orang sebelah * ) why did I came up with those weird actions , * till now fyi najwa haha * * cakap dengan diri sendiri * 

( menerawang scroll fb )

the posts significantly decreasing - 142 - 75 - 55 in 2015 , you surely sets your priority right huh najwa ? * tembak muka haha dengan pistol air *

I love your choices of words now , says the new Najwa to the new Najwa mengerling kepada old Najwa haha. 

I was reading through someone's status yesterday , a wise person in my memory and not anymore now , the choices of words doesn't reflect what a wise person should use or say. How sad it can be heh ,  wise one cuma dalam memory. :'(

Teringat ada sharing ukhti ni , dia kata sebenarnya Allah jaga je sepanjang He gave us sparks by sparks of hidayah ( lights in the dark ) and He actually guides us through , pastu I read my 2012 reflection post , masa tu dah ada kot spark spark hidayah Allah campak dalam hati , cuma lepas tu macam samar samar , recently jumpa ayat yang berbunyi seperti " Allah tambahkan hidayah pada orang yang dah diberi hidayah " gotta seek for the ayat again 

hence the random thought. Shooooot two random tak berarah kind of posts in a day , * tepuk tangan kawan sebelah haha * 

ehey 22

January 11, 2016

I was looking forward to see myself , duduk dan menulis post untuk tahun 2016.

I'm on my winter break , which explains why I was lazying around on the bed , kejap berpusing dekat lantai well I will be glad enough kalau tetiba I forced myself to spend my day at the table , tak kisahlah melukis ke , doing fancy writing on my 2016 planner , tulis diary , tulis resolution ( well these are the things I basically do / had done for the past few days )

( yawn )

pastu I was clueless why ehey 22 as the tittle for the post.

(okaaaay stawp no idea bye haha )

360' degree

Lay Low ( after writing emotion : EXCITING ) Two O One Five.

January 01, 2016

As hipstur as the tittle sounds , trying to write this post is frustrating enough , had to forcefully shut down the laptop twice sebab it hangs for minutes and its not funny anymore after few minutes harrrr

we on the ice , literally ice not senoww hahaha back before the Plitvice trip with our tour guide Encik Sashar the bayang bayang hahahha.

I was lying on bed ALL day after sending off my Essex friends early in the morning , though send off dekat pintu je , melihat taxi berlalu pergi dengan ekor mata ( snappp I don't even think I send them off with ekor mata because it was too cold outside mih mih had to close the door even before  the taxi hilang dari pandangan mata kah kah kah  ) 

I don't know you're too addictive lels 

till someone asked me to write down a reflection post about 2015 , tadadada you read my mind anonymous , I've been thinking about that but come to think , aku tak rasa pun nak menulis hari ni , moreover on reflection because I was lazy and rasa macam better off to keep it to myself , or sebenarnya kau memang malas jangan dikau nafikan ! miahahha 

I just want to have that some ' lay low ' moments . 

and it happened that aku memang rasa aku 'lay low ' sikit this year which according to the online dictionary ; lay low defined as 

lay low
1. To keep oneself or one's plans hidden.
2. To bide one's time but remain ready for action.
3. To cause to be dead or unable to get up from a lying position: How many soldiers were laid low in that battle? The flu has laid lowthousands.

Sebab taknak came up dengan szo the boring life of Anis Najwa this year , aku cuba retrace balik memory , or even the slightest pengharapan masa 2015  ni , unlike 2014 , my biggest pengharapan was to fly off to the UK siap dulu pernah doa " Ya Allah sebelum kiamat bagilah aku fly pergi UK " that's it , Allah granted my wish , I'm already here  , alhamdulillah dah second year and where did all the dreams go? It stops there? Like that? er? Belum kiamat dan kau masih diberi ruang dan peluang to repent over stuff then what najwa ? W H A T

( untuk sesiapa yang pernah rasa terinspirasi dengan hidup ceqq mohon reflect balik miahahaha ) Part mana kau ni menginspirasi hidup orang woi najwa !?!!???!


As 2014 was too bumpy - too much hopes - too much tested friendships and drama - menjadi 21 , I just want to remove all the 'too' in everything , like kalau berharap , nak berharap yang sederhana , so that I won't hurt too much or kalau sayang orang , nak sayang yang level setengah je , so that it won't be too hurtful . 

Cakap siang pandang pandang  ( kalau cakap malam malam? nak pandang siapa haha ) miahahhaha

2015 menyaksikan how a dead thing , sebagai contoh blog ni had affected me BADLY ! dia tahap yang at first I was trying to detach myself from all these networks and it was hard , tapi at the end dia mencapai tahap " detach successfully " yang dah tak leave rasa sakit , or tahap eager nak berkongsi apa jenis cerita pun on the blog. I learn how people can cluelessly hurt your feeling with their words , phrases like " do not reproduce " or " your mum should have aborted you " can come from a human for a human. I must be too ( again ) aspirational in the past yang " people tend to do good things in life " or " common sense is sensible among humans " . 

Though sebenarnya aku banyak kali je reflect yang I should put the blame on myself for failing to foresee people's circumstances , not judging from one source , that I shall hear from people's side , which I learnt a lot alhamdulillah , and the best part of it , I learn that " You shouldn't treat someone the way you don't want to be treated " and its a big lesson indeed , I see it as a pre test before masuk the legal word , people will slash you with their words maybe even with scarier stuff you never want to imagine . 

I can still precisely remember all those tears , the pains and the scars a dead thing did to me naaayyy. 

Thanks to that too , I deleted my ask.fm , in a way reducing contact or any possible ways that my feelings could be harmed. Though kenkadang aku nampak seperti manusia yang tak punya banyak perasaan portrayed on the face ( kah kah tipuuuuu )  , I value all these little things - affected with little things . 

twitter pun lepas sehari up to seminggu baru rasa nak bukak - blog adalah sebulan kot nak recover and masih bermalas malasan - instagram dulu I restrain myself untuk post a week - satu - tapi since I'm on my winter break , excuse me with more than 10 pictures a week kah kah. I just need to keep updated , one untuk diri sendiri baca balik tentang apakah kebodohan yang engkau lakukan , and ways to improve it supaya masuk level pandai sikit haha , second to keep my family updated , perasaan loner makan maggi dalam bilik kadang kadang menyeksa jiwaku tatkala melihat adik adikku bersantai makan burger bakar di tepi sungai melaka. leuls sangat haha. 

okay this sounds too negative now , lets bright up the mood ! 

Successfully completed my very first year as an LLB student ! ( insert habuk habuk firework since Malaysia dah first of January ) 

the success part mungkin sampai la kot aku punya definisi success , passed a 2:1 ( not until I saw people passed with first class T.T ) , grading degree kali ni unlike Alevels , meh aku share 

First class : above 70 %
Second class upper or 2:1 : 60% above 
Second class lowe or 2:2 : 50 % above 

third class aku tak sure. Juga yang bawah bawah , sengaja taknak tahu sebab it shouldn't be in my measurements grades. 

Teringat lagi waktu waktu revision tu , I did a (not so ) hardcore revisions , still got my sleep on time , sleeping soundly through the night tapi its like a 6 or 7 weeks of revisions , I gradually make the revision timing and specs tense , dari sejam ke tiga jam non stop ( ada break untuk regangkan otot ) then sambung balik ngeh. I dislike last minute revisions sebab aku rasa aku memang takde kebolehan last last minute burning midnight oil ni is never ever my favorite since Alevels so aku kira the 2 or 3 months revisions tu membantu for the first year , we'll see how things go for this second year ? 

A step higher in giving commitments to Dakwah and Tarbiyah ! ( D&T ) 

I may not put this in my 2015 wishlist since dulu memang datang UK then involves myself with good things like usrah - its for the sake of its good so why not? 

as times goes by , dulu  , I guess dari dia ( Dakwah dan Tarbiyaah ) tu setakat mengisi masa lapang , now its like I should make a specific time for Dakwah and Tarbiyah , well sebenarnya takdelah like a fix timing allocation hahh time ni kau buat D&T ni . Tapi its like being cautious with yourself , baik dari sekecil perkara seperti tutur kata , ke sebesar perkara , I can relate and reflect more apa yang aku buat dengan kehidupan , allied tak dengan Al-Quran kata apa , kau buat camni masuk tak dengan apa yang Allah nak kau buat , D&T jugak ajar kau untuk jadi lebih sensitif by mean with how people react - kau rasa dia nak deliver what kind of message through riak muka , or coldness someone tu boleh ke kita break with warmness , tah memacam lagi but its a pleasant feeling to be surrounded by people yang nakkan kebaikan untuk diri sendiri and at the same time they want good things for you too. 

of course when we talk about kebaikan ni , every year we must want to see ourselves naik satu tingkat kebaikan , and bilamana kita rasa kita dah baik - we will start questioning ourselves , kau yakin kau dah cukup baik? dan kau akan melihat banyak lagi ruang kau boleh enhanced in order untuk jadi lebih baik. LIKE TAKDE SIAPA PUN YANG BAIK AKAN KATA DIA BAIK lels its weeeeeird. Nak katanya , its a never ending process it'll be a forever process untuk capai indicator kebaikan yang akan differ every year - or every stage we sets. 

It starts with jadi AJK for Ini Sejarah Kita (ISK) 1.0 then jadi Mas'ullah ( ketua ) for the second ISK named ESCaping the Doctorine , next , for the first time jadi orang yang mengetuai jaulah ( winter trip ) to Croatia and Bosnia ( ni lesson ad-hock yang terbanyak sekali - the second part of the post was still drafted after days miahahhahaha ampunkan patik , patik memang berplatipus melepet winter break ni ahhaha )  pastu I challenged myself for accepting the responsibility untuk jadi facilitator for Perhimpunan Musim Sejuk (PMS) 2015. I saw myself working again in an organization like in the past masa dekat sekolah. dulu first year selalu rasa pathethic tengok orang lain macam aktif itu ini and you do absolutely NO'ING ( british accent of nothing ahhahah suka kauuu je ) . So aku sukalah melihat diri sendiri do something in this second year hahaha. Oh yaaa there's this one time I applied for a position in UKEC ( siap stay up hantar resume , buat resume , sungguh daku terharu dengan diri sendiri haha )  and attended their interview , though bukan rezeki , I guess Allah did fares a better fate for me ? right? 

Have I ever told you how awesome is my Ayyash is? Ayyash is my usrah name - consist of Haziqah - Ajlaa - Haifa - Mira and me , I might just properly known them for about two or three months but these people are the people that I'm so comfortable with to share my thoughts , my fear aside from my family :) Thank you ayyash , I couldn't stand the thoughts that two of us will be graduating from Cardiff very soon :'(

( dengan ayyash takde gambar I don't know why ) hahaha 

ticked wish ( might not a wish but yeah ) ( might not even be my wish but who cares hahaha )  list ( kotak bersama right ticked ) 

ps , seronoknya tulis pakai bullet points hahhahhaha ini pun kau terhibur ( used to only writing in paragraphs so yeah hahaha )

  • balik Malaysia though dulu pernah kata taknak balik tiga tahun nak mereput dekat UK , nyata ianya satu kebohongan - feeling syahdu tengok family sambut dekat airport lepas a long long flight London - Jordan - Bangkok sejam - Malaysia , balik rumah and just being at home is peaceful enough weeeeeeeh alaaaaa jangan kang homesick karang T.T , I miss everyone at home ( satgi nak skype dengan Aimi aaaa kuihhh kuihhh ) 

  • attended INTEL , Interaksi bersama alumni SBPI Selandar , which I saw people changed in a good way , envy of course , tapi at the same time rasa macam my heart feels at rest dapat kumpul balik dengan your siblings tho tak cukup korum , it feels nice tengok Machinants grow up , which recently lepak dengan Sany dengan Madjam kat rumah , its like aku tak pernah sangka pun boleh gather dengan small part of Machinants dekat UK - even to see myself in the UK was still a pleasant suprise and rezeki dari Allah.

the part of the INTEL crew. 

Missing Ain Nadhirah - Machinants in the UK
  • My parents went to umrah last month and knowing that its their forever dream being ticked rasa macam I can sense the joy though I was restraining myself from reporting every single life events dengan mak sendiri , but it just feels good. 

  • met GE'EF after a year too , tho tak ikut plan asal nak ke Langkawi but we had a good time , sebenarnya aku lalu je fasa nak detach lepas jumpa due to certain reasons , I just knew the girls I've been talking to and with through setahun alam maya in a very good , well being woman now ( i ken krai because i yam no woman here hahahaha )

sending off Ain , missing Ain and Aireen

  • went to Cambodia with sets of kewl girls , #beedadariproject was a success alhamdulillah , baru teringat yang someone did asked me about the charity project masa dekat PMS , and I was like " You knew it? " hahahahha sebab I remember bertapa tak berharapnya kitaorang about the donation masa we decided to post it on the social medias , but seeing how generous Malaysians are just amused me ( nangis lagu M.Nasir ahahhahahaha padahal kau cuma tahu lagu Mentera Semerah Padi waakakak )


  • I do tutoring for the UPSR students in my hometown , I never thought there's a part inside me that could teach meeeeeyahahahahhaha - I even can count faster now without calculator and I can do science , my brain cells in 2006 still exist and connected kui kui.



so as lay low as I might ( or not ) sounds like , 2015 adalah tahun yang sederhana bagi aku. Sederhana yang aku suka. I guess it did happened in the past macam transition 2007 to 2008 aku ada azam yang sama , to stay low taktahulah it sounds good or not tapi aku sangat suka la hahaha. I interact with people more often - I detached myself from the social medias -  I got involved in an organization - I ( partially ) be more matured keh keh part mana matured pun aku taktahu dia ni . 

AFTER WRITING THIS POST , changed emotion 358' 

( many things popped in mind sepanjang editing the whole post ) I just realized 2015 is actually a fun year ! I did a lot ! OF THINGS ! ( that feeling of KAU TAK BORING SEBENARNYA NAJWA HAHAHAHAHHAHA you still had a good year - good life  ) , betullah orang cakap , to make yourself yang selalu rasa hidup tak beruntung tu , cuba duduk kejap and jot down all the blessings , for a second , vanish dah all the negative thoughts yang lingering inside my head waaaaaaa , 

alhamdulillah thumma alhamdulillah for this wonderful 2015 :') 

2016? Hopes and resolutions? to be continued. perhaps. kalaulah rajin. kalau. hahah. 

Lets walk to 2016 :)