Which one to choose? STPM ? Matriks? Diploma ? Asasi ? Or Alevel and friends?

Okay now that I encountered lots of questions like " Kak , mana lagi baik ? Asasi ke diploma ? " and the fact that I don't have a any medium like ask.fm so I decided to write it here inside the blog. 

So before going any further , let me tell you - I am doing Alevel now , tak sempat merasa dunia asasi matriks diploma dan stpm so what I write inside here is merely opinions . I am never going to favour Alevel supaya korang akan delighted ikut sama buat Alevel namun sebelum membuat keputusan , sila google twitter account Alevels problem dan scroll hingga ke akhirnya. Ahaaaks. ( note that Alevel could not be that kind of stress pun sebenarnya kalau pandai manage - ke macam stress je , tapi entahlah , i dislike the usage of 'stress' word as it indicate something negative ahaaa ) 

Kawasan definisi : 

Alevel and friends bermaksud : Alevel , ADFP , Ausmat , KTJ or any preparation program for overseas. 

So. 

I am not going to go further in details on what STPM is , matriks is , diploma or asasi because I bet anyone who're reading through this dah ada idea , I mean slight ideas on the differences of the programme. Jadi mari kita lihat pemikiran rigid warga warga Malaysia dan kita bincangkan. 

Akak , asasi tu lagi baik kan dari diploma? ( so disebabkan dia lagi baik, saya kena buat asasi , takleh buat diploma ) 

             If you asked me this question back then masa form 4 form 5 zaman kejahilan , yes I would say that tapi bila kalau kau tanya aku benda ni sekarang , I would say both ada baik buruk dia and ikut kemampuan kau , when I say kemampuan , note that kemampuan ialah sesuatu yang berbentuk fakta seperti result spm anda dan juga , lebih daripada bentuk sebuah angan angan. Pehe dok? ( Faham tak? ) . Contoh , awak minat nak buat medic , namun kemampuan berdasarkan keputusan , ( or you can check in any UPU requirement website ) tidak menyebelahi diri anda untuk masuk asasi medic tapi tetap nak jugak buat medic sebab itu cita cita sedari 5 tahun. Please, be realistic and be lenient with your choice. 

           Bukan maksud kalau kau tak dapat asasi kau takkan nampak kejayaan di masa hadapan. You know some courses ada je yang tak dioffer untuk asasi tapi ada untuk diploma je. I have a friend back then , he obtained 8A's which to the rigid minded people - 8 A masuklah asasi , 8A kot. Tapi he end up choosing diploma sebab course yang dia nak ada dekat diploma level je , and he already have a plan degree nanti nak gi mana nak buat apa. He end up obtaining JPA scholarship . So adilkah anda untuk mengatakan asasi itu lebih baik dari diploma? Tidak sama sekali. 

Akak , result saya ini ini ini , tapi saya nak jugak buat course ni  ( situasi - tak layak memohon course tersebut bersama emoticon bersungguh sungguh ditambah dengan tanda seru  ) nearest example nak buat law. 

            Okay , here since knowledge tuan hamba ni kurang wide sikit , path yang aku tahu boleh end up dalam legal profession ni ada tiga - Alevel. Asasi and STPM. Menjadi pelajar sbp selama lima tahun , I know how the rigid mind yang di dipahat untuk buat asasi , benda benda oversea namun bukan STPM , sebab kena pakai uniform la , sekolah like once again lah , lambatlah itu ini. So buanglah pemikiran tu jauh jauh , STPM one of the good route to achieve your ambition , takpelah pakai baju sekolah lagi - lagi kecik pakai baju tadika kemas , pakai baju sekolah redha je berbelas tahun , apaadehal pakai baju sekolah untuk lagi 2 tahun. To get in details how STPM works , asked anyone yang buat STPM, sorry takdok idea. 

Akak , Alevel susah tak? ( tukar Alevel pada STPM ,Matriks ,Asasi )

        Frankly I've heard this question for thousand times . Akak ni susah tak ni susah tak tu susah tak? This kind of mentality should be mend , in everything you pursue later , its how you define the susah , kalau your mindset dan attitude towards the route kata susah , susahlah dia . Kalau you've set your mind I can go through this . Takdelah dia jadi susah. Kau tak boleh macam tengok satu senior ni kata , 

" Weh jangan ambik Alevel weh , SUSAH GILA NAK MATI ( with sets of exclamation marks )" and your senior still breathing happily.

sebab ikut definisi dan kemampuan dia , itu susah , mungkin nanti kalau kau ambik Alevel kau akan kata takdelah susah mana. Its never fair to compare pun in between program pun tak boleh sebab masing masing ada pros and cons. Tapi yknow being a human , human punya tendency of exaggerating on stuff ni tinggi . So no wonder kau akan jumpa manusia yang sejak UPSR sampai ke akhirnya dia kata susah. 

         At this point , saying everything susah and not giving yourself chance to explore more job prospect and selamanya nak duduk di tempat yang selesa adalah sangat sangat tidak digalakkan . By mean , contoh kau science stream students for five years and after that years, maybe what you think the most comfort zone for you is science world but its actually not. Benda ni sedih sebenarnya bila kau nanti end up ambik benda yang kau tak boleh nak bawak sebenarnya. Again looking at your result. 

At one point , you should be realistic and you should try to go deeper and know yourself more. Tuhan tak saja saja je bagi result kau sebegitu rupa ( sama ada cemerlang , tengah tengah mahupun di bawah ) , there must be reasons to be pondered upon . Banyak kali dah diingatkan , 

Yang barangkali apa yang kamu suka bukan apa yang kamu perlukan. 

         Do tons of personality test , sebab kita maybe tak pernah tahu kita good at something when other people realized it. Dulu masa aku apply UPU and scholarship semua , I do ask my parents , people closed to me, what are my strength and weakness. I did tons of career punya quizzes to see what are the sides yang aku tak realize aku ada sebenarnya. Though it might not be reliable 100% , at least , I did widen my knowledge on career prospect rather than just stay with doctors , pharmacist , engineer , lawyer and stuff. 

            Baca novel ke, through novels which is Novel Melayu yang orang dok kata jiwang bercinta je tiga puluh bab - dari novel melayu lah aku tahu wujudnya pekerjaan seperti Quantity Surveyor. JANGAN MALAS ! kesian weh orang dah tolong kau , remind to do this and that , even helped you with this and that - bukan nak mengungkit ke apa , tapi kalau kau sendiri tak tolong diri sendiri , tak dapek den nak nolong. I can't afford helping someone who don't help themselves. K? Nak tanya boleh. Tapi to the extend helping you on what course you shall pursue , its not my job. K once again. 



Jalan yang akhirnya indah tak semestinya selalu cerah pada permulaan dan pertengahannya. 

So good luck. The info's might not really help you that much but I do hope , it change your perceptions a bit, at least. 

macam takde kaitan. HAHA

Problemo here and there !

Hello , I am facing kinda tough week dealing with my problematic google chrome. Entah apa tah aku tekan , at the end boleh bukak twitter dengan facebook je. Memang nak suruh melagho browser browser ni. T.T

So now I am writing using bluestack's application - finally I discovered more of this app's function selain untuk menjaga pou dan berburung hijau ( read whatssap ) ngeh.

Minggu ni rasa malas dia lain macam punya malas. Malas tahap labi labi , mungkin kerana post trial punya emotions jadi macam malas nak buat apa apa , sedang diri ini tahu external awal bulan lima dan kebanyakan paper bertindih , though ada total only 10 papers nak hadap. Serious tabik siapa yang hadap sampai 20 paper. Boleh tercekik! namun bukankah Allah tak membebani hambanya lebih dari apa yang mereka mampu.

K ni macam ngengada nak whine ! - kbye. Saja nak ada tempat berkata kata semahunya. I got a text - a miracle text. Ada hikmah mungkin. Ada hikmah.

The week and the wishlists.

It was two days ago I badly wanted to write about my clumsiness during the school days as the memories keep replaying inside the brain and my google chrome was not functioning very well which later affect the other browsers , I was really pissed off.

It has been such a rough week at the beginning. We haven't met weekend najwa Ha Ha Ha. 

So one of my wishlists to be accomplished while I am here in Intec is to spend a day in the water park. When I first say it to my circle of friends - they were not really interested with this kind of idea. I mean a woman age almost 20 because I am 19 * peace * sounds too matured for kiddos stuff like playing at the water park. So they said , they'll give a company ( tak mandi tengok je ) 

That was. Not really fun perhaps. So I accidentally tell my housemates regarding my wishlist about last 2 3 weeks * while we're busy with our trial examination * and my housemate ( specifically my roommate Nabila said YES! - I want to join you - then I know we're roommates for many reasons and I am so glad kah kah ) . Dia macam random at first - when I told her yesterday 

7 pm
N Esok kita nak pi waterpark. * excited sendiri *
N Oh esok kita nak puasa. Najwa pergi sorang?
N Aaah sorang ( sadly this girl sounds so pathethic kah kah nak pi main air sensorang )
N Eh kita postpone aaa puasa. Kita join najwa ( excited bersama ) 

Well obviously this is not a real transcript oh god. Haha. 

10 pm

whatssap. 

N Kita sedih nak balik Shah Alam.
N Kita nak pi waterpark esok dengan Nabila yeay yeay. 
N EH NAK IKUT ! ( tak jadi sedih sebab nak balik Shah Alam ) 

So its a housemates trip tanpa Nurul Amirah , my another housemate. And we're the N's Kah kah. Literally I am an A but people call me Najwa. So its Najwa. Nabila. Nureen. Nurul Amirah. Keh keh. 

Info :
  • Venue : Wet World Shah Alam , seksyen 2. ( Last time kita google water park Shah Alam - dekat dengan Mc'D and distance away from PKNS sebab we walk to the PKNS. haha ) 
  • Harga : Dewasa or I guess for whom yang 130's cm dan ke atas kot RM20.00 which I considered berbaloi. 
  • Operation days ; Everyday except for Wednesday - tapi if its public Holiday or school holidays , bukak cam biasa.
  • Pantang larang : no outside food ( Teh chrysanthemum kita kena tahan dekat luar sebab ada bag check cissu) sebab dalam tu monopoly harga maggi cup pun 4 ringgit haih , binatang bebola cucuk cucuk , sebatang 3.50 mari tercekik bersama sama. Ngeh. 
  • Segala macam sewa seperti pelampungs semua ceqq taktahu ceqq tak pakai pelampung. Apungan secara semulajadi hews. 

And thanks hozmatess. Sebab sama sama tick wishlist kita hari ni. I had so much fun bukak mata pedih dalam air berklorin - gelak bersama - usha usha budak baru nak up * eiu gross * haha - main main air - excited tahap tak ingat. Siap dengan seludup masuk nasi goreng berperisa perencah nasi goreng cina msg. Ngoih. 

Meh belanja gambar sikit sat. 


K satu lagi acah acah underwater. 

Part tangan dah tak smart pegang tepi cis. 


Coping with the post result emotions.

Hello , SPM result was out and I still felt the chill I had last two years - the waiting - the announcements - the hugs and the list of grades on the examination slip. 

Before I go even further , tahniah 96's for your result. One phase off. More route to walk through.

I've learned things hard way since I am not a high achiever for my SPM , as world get tougher, and people are much cleverer , with tons of straight A's and A+ all around Malaysia , I self proclaim that I am not a high achiever = straight A's achiever. I got 7 of A's with 4 Bee's - Add Math , Chemistry , Physics and Arabic. I science stream student yang tak berapa nak arif dengan selok belok perkiraan formula yang pelbagai. Kah kah. 

I regret myself at first - no , at the second thoughts actually haha - bila mata manusia memandang sinis terhadap result ini - ( apa jenis ayat ni najwa ) NO ,  at first I was at ease as I've told myself that I have done my best and this is what I deserve. But you know somehow hati ni bersifat berbolak balik and things changed and I got depressed seeing my close friends with more A's and even crueler with tons of A+ when I only have 2 . Ngeh. Jadi masa tu memang zaman doubt diri sendiri - dari semangat berkobar ingin menjadi pharmacist berjaya punah ranah ranap bersama drama drama dalam kepala. 

It was hard . 

Sebab you got those feelings yang aku dah kecewakan mak bapak. Selama ni mintak duit macam macam duduk SBP paling paling makan dua tiga ribu nak masuk. Belum kira air kotak susu , air kotak chrysanthemum dan bersama berkotak tin biskut. Somehow I do crash people's hope. Dengan suasana yang tak ikut sama membantu - seringkali bertanya - Najwa berapa dapat. Ngeh sepuluh kali. . 

But wait. What do you expect ? 

Bukankah apa yang kita dapat itu ialah apa yang kita usahakan?
Bukankah apa yang kita dapat itu ialah apa yang kita perlukan?
Bukankah itu fenomena biasa orang bertanya apa result kita? 

I can't help. Its not only happening in Malaysia. Its world wide phenomenon. Jangan kau kata Melayu je suka jaga tepi kain seluar pelikat or even boxer ( hambarnya najwa sila cuba lagi )

He does not burden a soul with what you can't bare. He would never. Sebab aku dapat 7 nilah sebenarnya aku figure yang aku ni tak sesuai sebenarnya buat pharmacy sebab aku tak suka bau hospital ( adakah ini petanda yang cukup bahawa pharmacy bukan kerjaya masa hadapanku? kah kah ) . Sebab 7 ni jugak aku tahu yang aku bukan dilahirkan untuk bersama line line saintis buat rekaan inovasi dan teknologi ( sebab dulu masa buat R&D dekat sekolah pun malaih abadi ) 

Sebab 7 ni jugak aku sedar yang sebenarnya life is more than what you're working for academically ( on papers , on exams ) , aku sedar yang Rezeki ni Rahsia Allah. Siapa yang sangka aku buat Alevel hari ni , even dulu sebenarnya dah habis pujuk diri sendiri , najwa - redha, mana mana belajar, tak kisah . Luar ke dalam negara , mana mana sama . Kalau orang tanya berkajang tips nak dapat scholar ke? Camne nak masuk intec kak? Aku seriously tak boleh bagi fix answers sebab aku rasa aku dekat sini is because of takdir Allah yang nak aku dekat sini. Sebab bila aku kata , akak spiem dulu 7 , orang question " Weh pehal 7 dapat scholar ? " . Terdiam dua tiga ketika. 

So whats the best answer I could give then? 

Rezeki rahsia Allah. Rahsia Allah. 

Jadi camne nak figure rahsia ni? 

Doa dan tunggu. Orang orang sabar ni Allah bagi pulangan yang setimpal. Jadi sabarlah anak anak. Jangan whine too much persoalkan ini. Fenomena menenangkan diri sendiri dengan tweet tweet straight A tak mampu membantu anda mendapat four felats ( di mana ini benar anak anak )  juga mampu membantu anda cope dengan post result emotions haha. 

Stress awak awak ni tak lama. Serious. Hari ni , esok dan mungkin minggu depan masih rasa patah hati tapi when the time comes, bila dapat offer university / matriks / or any pusat pengajian  or even scholarships , you'll somehow agree yang , yang figure masa hadapan bukan setakat list of grades tapi bergantung pada Allah jugak. :) 

Tak perlu paksa diri untuk overcome secara cepat dengan pelbagai jenis cara. Takyah. Nanti the pain will be washed away dengan sendirinya. Yakinlah :)

PS i was looking for a google image for Alevel tense , they literally give me tense ( grammar tense ) kah kah google awat jujur hang ni 


so because google just reminded me about grammar = English which equivalent to research paper A-level for English yang tak siap siap lagi . Now
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..
...
....
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Gah. Owls , too cute. Too cute. 

Malaysian with the ignorant thoughts #MH370

Yesterday , a plane which supposed to reached Beijing from Kuala Lumpur at 6.30 am were found missing and even after more than 24 hours , it shows no signs regarding the location of the plane itself. In the morning , I saw updates on the twitter timeline that the plane safely landed at Nanming / Nanning China till another updates saying that the plane never enter Chinese airspace. Sounds confusing eh? 

Late in the afternoon I saw another update : " Sorry to cause bla bla bla . My friend just now landed at Hong Kong not Beijing " I don't know whether his friend is trying to crack some jokes to his friend - Oh aku belum jadi hantu lagi la doh ' - bravo ignorant guy bravo - the one who spread the news is a Malaysian and I bet is his is from Malaysia too . Your so-called cracking jokes shows that how ignorant you are - I hate people that who're unable to distinguish serious and playing matters. At first , takkanlah kawan dia tu taktahu yang dia tu book flight pergi Hong Kong bukan Beijing - kalau ada mistake of fact pun , Hong Kong obviously does not sounds close to BEI JING. Kan? Ignorant is not a bliss. 

The trials are ongoing with 6 papers left and my attentions were diverted away - refreshing updates on the news - its heartbreaking to see family members waiting for the relatives. Because its still nowhere to find , being a human dalam zaman millenium ni , bagi seribu sejuta update dekat news tu , all we need to is to see with our own eyes then choose whether to believe it or not. So mula la perangai ignorant Malaysian yang aku rasa dahagaka retweet dan favourites bersama status berlimitkan 140 character.

Pesawat dah dijumpai * with a picture of the wreckage of  a plane incident 3 years ago but self proclaim its the MH370 * - retweets in every seconds. 

Ada tu siap lagi cakap : No survivors at all - semua mati - takde yang hidup bagai bagai.

 Being super ignorant society - terus menerus dok retweet binatang tu , giving false alarm till someone wise enough to give the real source of the picture. 

These kind of people tak rasa ke , how the family members would feel when you do something like that? I know its the matter of being realistic with the probability of outcomes - sebab dah lebih 24 jam - no signs they're on the ground - no communications done. Tapi you shouldn't do something absurd like that - sebab authorities belum keluarkan any real statement . Tapi kita ni , menjadi pahlawan keyboard - retweet tanpa source , bagi kenyataan sebab nak gain retweets and attentions. Its bad y'know? 

This evening , I saw a worst tweet of all ignorants Malaysian. 

Untuk apa ke Beijing? Buat maksiat? Allah saje yg tahu niat penumpang MH370 .Mati dalam keadaan mengerikan. Subhanallah allahuakbar.

Source _ burung biru. 

Okay now lets see whats wrong with the status? First to me , her accusation could be a slander. How can she generalize everyone inside the plane niat semua nak buat maksiat. Half of the passengers were Chinese - nak balik negara masing masing balik - nak mengeratkan silaturahim sesama keluarga , some inside were going there for the purpose of working. Ada tu pergi sebab nak honeymoon - appreciating the nature itself. I was so sad to see this kind of tweet come from a Malaysian. A girl. She may wanted to sound noble by adding Subhanallah and Allahuakbar , but to me she's not. A real muslim don't do things like this. Irony when you're giving a slander statement when you add up some 'religion' lexical choice of words inside the sentences . 

She breaks many heart including mine - sebab aku rasa when this kind of thing of happen , everyone shall stay positive - don't speculate things - don't add up any bitter words / don't talk when you don't feel the need - when you can't sooth don't hurt. Lets just say she have a relative inside the plane - then aku bagi statement macam tu , sedangkan kau tahu relative kau dalam tu niat dia nak pergi berkerja . Sakit kan tuduhan kau ni ? Sadly how common sense is not common inside the society. Pastu lagi sedih bila ada orang tegur dia - she was very firm that she was right with her words. Yeah , inside the 360' degrees of opinions , I guess hers is at the 361'.

Adik , moga diberikan hidayah. 

Tu belum yang politicize every single thing happen. With " Ini kerajaan zalim " " Ini BN " " Ini PKR ". How can a human like you can even breathe having such mind? Heh? 

Deep down , I am hoping that MH370 is safe - though the possibilities seems so low at this hour. But I know the authorities were doing their best with the infos and the search. I would rather wait than receiving false alarm. My prayers and thoughts are with the passengers and their relatives. I know its never easy to stay strong when people ask you to do so. But somehow , saying Stay Strong is the only thing that the societies able to say to deliver and share the strength. Despite distances - the whole world is praying for the best. I know if the people surround suffers , the people inside the plane suffers even more - hows the food. Are they good. Hows the babies. Hows the people inside it. 

Stay strong people , the rescuers were doing their best to save you guys. If you're meant to stay alive , you will. The whole world is praying and wishing for the best. Allah , He has the blessings and loves , Moga semua dalam jagaan Dia. Have mercy O Allah. Save them. I know its seems hard at this hour but I believe in You. Ease them through . Ease them through.



Ditch down your phones for a while - pray in reality. 

Malaysian , stop being plain ignorant with your words, thoughts and action. Stop being so forceful towards the authorities for the information. Its not like you're searching something inside a fish pond to expect such fast infos to appear. Patience is virtue. Being ignorant , it may be bliss at some points , but ignorance as a whole is not a total bliss. 

A level with lovely people.

Hello. Esok takde paper - tapi eksaited gaya habis paper. Tiga paper telah berlalu and it signify lagi tujuh paper nak hadap. Maybe for some people - hekeleh apaadehal kau sepuluh paper aku duapuluhsembilantolaktigapaper . Bukankah Allah menguji hambanya semampu kemampuannya? Mungkin mampu aku hanya pada sepuluh paper yang essay base kesemuannya. As long its not numbers, I breathing like a human. Haha. 

Hari ni 5/3 . Esok 6/3 , genap lagi dua bulan nak external paper. Sebulan. Pastu tinggalkan intec. Tamat sudah A-level. 

...

Masuk semester empat ni sentimental layan perasaan dia lain macam sikit - sambil sibuk sibuk telaah berkajang past years , I can't deny sometimes tu tengok tarikh tarik penting semester empat ni , hati rasa sayu. Sebab dekat sini , I met sets of lovely people - with lovely ideas - with lovely memories shared. Perasaan dia mungkin sama macam tinggalkan Selandar lepas 5 tahun. Tapi mungkin akan jadi lebih sakit ke? Sebab aku rasa dua tahun dekat sini sebenarnya equivalent je dengan 5 tahun dekat Selandar , sebab most of the memories when I was 13 , 14 and 15 washed away dalam angin angin lalu aicewohhh kenapa metaphors sangat ni. Dulu , I thought a friendship is determined by how long you've known each other. I was wrong too about that . Sebab perasaan dia - sama cuma. Tak bererti yang kita baru kenal setahun jagung bersama rebung ( jagung alone is too menstreaaaam haha ) - the friendship would be less valuable. Oh nope. Salah salah. 

Here in intec , my class name dari sem 1 is 10LW2 which recently dapat nama Wolverhampton . Seriously ternganga jugak bila madam coordinator program tunjuk dekat screen. EH APA TU , WOL-VER-HAM-what what? haha. So we self proclaimed ourselves as wolverines , or is it just because of our class rep. haha. Tapi y'know wolverines people were so helpful in many ways. Kalau tengah nak present dekat depan , you won't feel the inferiority sebab semua akan tolong sekali. I dont know how to describe but I love being inside the class. The surrounding is very supportive - I've been enhancing my communication skills dalam kelas. Dah masuk intec baru rasa yang penggunaan english itu berbentuk universal. Kah kah. Dulu dekat sekolah - cakap english hanya masa duduk dengan geng geng debate . Moga Allah permudahkan semuanya . We've been through this thing to this point , dah lebih dari half , dah masuk fasa fasa terakhir - menghambur segala usaha sepanjang dua tahun. I will be missing my wolverines members, seriously. 

from the students. To the lecturers - semua awesome I tell youuuuuuuuu

Wolverines, terima kasih :)



Here in intec too , I met my Gross Familia. Now with the existence of Wanita Comel Bersatu. I am just glad y'know. We can randomly talk about where our babies should spend the weekends. Suddenly jadi serious bincang econs. Lepak mamak sambil analyze twilight breaking dawn part 2. Haha. Sekarang belum rasa perasaan apart tu , tapi dengan hanya memikirkannya , perasaan dia sakit. Sebab this time around my set of friends datang dari pelusuk semenanjung. Ada Perak , ada KeyEll haha ada Kelantan ada Terengganu. Tu tang bila nak buat reunion tu tang bila sobs sobs. :'( . Deep down , guys thanks for being so wonderful . I am never wrong being friend with you guys - you guys can be the reason why I feel happy going to class. Because I'll be meeting good people - good laugh - yang faham serba serbi diri ini. Y'know how I am touched when you guys remembered that my dislike about kentang yang masih dalam bentuk kentang. But I can eat french fries. Haha. Jumpa kawan yang tak makan nasi lemak dengan sambal. Tak makan sambal berwarna merah unless she see the process. Tak makan bawang. Tak makan telur kuning - telur kuning mungkin berbentuk alien padanya. HAHA. Dan ada yang tak memilih langsung . Yang deep love dengan nescafe dan rakan rakan. Yang minat korea. Yang setia bersama Jep Sepahtu. Yang boleh tengok korea episode raw. Huish. Wonderful how humans take into account those small things - those little things that makes me feel bad about finishing Alevels soon. 

gambar mana gambar? Ada. Dalam hati , aicewohs. haha. 

A-level , despite tense dia dirasakan tense gila. My days eased by these lovely people.Thanks for giving colours to my Alevels. I was never wrong for deciding to go for Alevels at the first though at some points I regret my choice. I was wrong to be sad over things when I know I have more than millions reasons to be happy. I was wrong to say that I will not make a new sets of friends here - because having more strangers then become a friend - is one of the blessings from Him for everyone because being alone doesn't seems pleasing. Over times. Haha.

I never thought Alevels could be this sentimental.

Or is it just me. Heh. HAHA.

March and wishes

Hello I just got confused on how to wish birthday to whom that were born on 29th of February . Nak kata Happy Birthday bukan 29 , nak kata belated macam salah - end up confused dengan confusion sendiri. Benda camni pun nak fikir lelama . Ketuk kepala sendiri.

* muka mengharap versi furball *

Banyak sebenarnya wish March ni , tapi what for wishing for - kalau usaha seciput cuma. Haha. Its not a wish , it is goal to be achieved - or memang a wish to be granted. * nak jugak *  . So lusa trial dan saya masih di sini ( read : Rumah , Melaka - keselesaan - ketenangan - keterpaksaan untuk study juga ) . I don't know , sebelum ni dah cakap dengan diri sendiri , pressure diri sendiri seadanya , trial ni diguna pakai untuk kau tengok sejauh mana preparation kau untuk external exam. Tapi deep down , you know , you know that you need to give your super super effing efforts . Over times doubt dengan diri sendiri. Selalu rasa insekiur. Tiga sem 15 - 12 -14 , how my external going to be like. The points. Everything seems pressuring , from the records till the present time. Deep down , moga mudah jalan ini. Moga jalan yang dipilih - dan dilalui ini diberkati dari mula hingga ke akhirnya. * reflection time eheh * 

March banyak benda yang beratur : Trials. Excel in Edexcel ( ala ala bengkel SPM kot ) , BTN which taktahu jadi ke tidak , tapi apaadehal jadi tak , kalau kelas , ye ke kelas , kalau takde , belajar rajin rajin please najwa. Sebenarnya despite acah acah bizi , sebenarnya memang busy pun nak buat camne - nak mend relationship with humans. Specific humans. Tapi taktahu macam mana. No matter how much mulut ni cakap nak give a damn on something - deep inside , Allah je tahu sakit virtual deal dengan masalah masalah macam ni. End up mesti rasa clueless dengan diri sendiri - mungkin nak let Allah heal dengan masa. Haih. Mungkin itu mungkin ini. 

Its march aite? 

Semalam abang cakap dia graduate bulan 9. Akhir bulan sembilan. Tak pernah jejak kaki dekat Unimap. Dulu masa dia masuk first year , aku sibuk SPM , balik Selandar. Dah lepas tu memang takde can langsung nak menapak unimap. Despite ke'eager-an ' nak tengok unimap tu ; selalu cakap dengan dia ; 

Doakan adik tak datang graduasi kau . 

Sebab nak fly awal bulan 9. Nak fly. Nak. Nak . Allah mudahkan. Mudahkan. Boleh nangis fikir masa depan cenggini. A-level sudah mampu merobek jiwa raga. Ibu pulak nak pergi trip Indon bulan 10 , sambil sambil dia main pou level 27 , ibu cakap Masatu Anis dah fly dah. * nangis dalam hati - pressure * , sambil tu  " ameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen  " doa ibu kan ? :) 

Wishes : 
Ace trial and see berapa banyak dah ready untuk external. - Moga dimudahkan Allah. 

Mend relationship - Mohon Allah grantedkan yang ni laju laju , tak sakit diri ini. 

Oh lagi satu , Kings College London , cepat cepatlah bagitau result awak. Nak bagi place takni , saya terseksaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. * kemainnn aaa bunyi terseksa , sedangkan baru lepas feeling feeling tengok cerita cinta puihh sikit * 

nak randomly pergi berkelah bawak epal - dengar lagu sambil tengok nature. Sorang -sorang. - ini satu bentuk wish juga.