You might also want to be at your twentieth chapter.

I woke up today with an insight of some successful people at my age. Looking at how far they've reached , for one second ( I bet more ) , I'm pondering upon what I've been doing in life. What if I am that person who hardly success in dunya as well as akhirat? It be either two. Either a booster or not a very good kind of motivation to start the day. It makes you feel like a partial looser for not making any effort , or really , a minimal kind of effort when someone else takes no break in their journey . I feel bad - of course , can't help. But to choose to ignore these things are happening all around , that is certainly not a vivid wise choice. 

( what about don't compare your first chapter with someone's else twentieth chapter ) but life concerns competition or was it just me? I'm still comparing though and that thoughts doesn't seems to move away from my mind.

I thought it will be fun , to have that lay back and relax moments , I was happy yesterday , talking about the mouth watering KFC Coleslaw - you come to appreciate the full flavour of chopped vegetables , with the right amount of sweetness and savoury . as we're eating coleslaw we ordered from a pizza place that taste less best than what we had in Malaysia . Talking about your forever cravings of fried ( fresh ) seafood , its not that we can't get one decent fish dish here in UK , its just a bit hard . You got to give extra effort to taste fresh seafood ( extra penny too )  , the non-fillet fishes with their heads and tails. You may gave up before everything and savour it later when we touched down Malaysia. 

You imagine , I've been happily thinking about how to put these flavour kind of words up on the blog , got excited as I finished reading Me Before You in two days . That was remarkable , at least to me. Hardly find the passion to start reading non-academical books ( but still dare to put her hobbies are reading ) I read - online , hahaha you never know how I really love reading free sample books on Google store. But I used to read more than what I do now.

( yes I read it in the middle of revision days ) ( because I recklessly start reading ) I only intended to just flip through the pages ( I need to finish it fast or else it gets stuck in my head ) 

I had always fancied Malay novels , bought some in Malaysia and even brought it here ( still on the shelf no worries , I hardly touched them haha )  , but the ME who read and submerged into the world designated by the author - is hardly seen these days. But as soon as you're into it , the world had become so silent not even a slightest sound for you to blend into the author's setting  , as if its only you with the characters and you imagining that what if you're at Lou's position and you have done so much thing for someone you loved but ... ( spoiler alert but who cares its spoiled to everyone already haha ) , how the author justified the way he took away his own life , I was still thinking whether what you wished for aligned with what He commands. Whether by Will reverted as Muslim will change his mind - there can be a significant difference I bet. 

... But the thought of imagining sweet-crisp-milky-savoury-pucuk-ubi-masak-lemak vanished , the thought of what is like to be in Lou's shoes , vanished in the air . As some other people talking about career development , how to push themselves further. Time to take these things seriously huh Najwa?

Maybe you should. Dunya ( look at how Y and I makes so much difference hahaha or its just me ) is a no place for rest , its a place for you to give your best - the sweet ending that will make your efforts worth the while . You can't just abandon your responsibility as a human to live your life to the fullest. You got to muster up your strength. People might said that run for akhirah ( lets see whether a T and a H makes it sounds different eh ) and the world will fall behind you , but for expecting it will fall right on place , doesn't seems to be quite right , it goes both way , both requires effort , you got to be the best kind of Muslim version , that succeed in the world as well the hereafter. 

world is yet so demanding and these are never enough. 

nor that I dare to say I'm tired. You don't even try that much. ( You still got to compare yourself with people who've done a mile stones of dakwah ) 

It feels like I might be running , but I feel like I'm permanently just a little bit behind the rest of the field...