I'M BACK ! - the upside down of my Certificate of Legal Practice journey.

Well hello guys, its been a while since I had a very leisure time, doing nothing, at least nothing to worry about, like what chapter I haven't covered, or what cases applied, and its been a while too since I touched this laptop keyboards, I'm finally hereeeee ! trying to brush up my writing and to properly record and reflecting over things. This writing might sound unrhythmic since its been a while, bare with me okay? 

Alhamdulillah by the time I'm writing this, my Certificate of Legal Practice just ended two days ago and I've been paying my sleep debt well , and ticking the foods craving too. 

CLP did in many sense deprived my emotion and my time, I know that everything that I've learned through the course of study is certainly useful and applicable in the future hence it felt tenser than ever. Reality check, passing rate is low per year and its very understandable due to its bulkiness. 

Random sadness strikes.

Revision days is just too tense for me to handle, I experienced all kind of panic attacks, sudden random sadness that I opt to do mental illness checkup ( online ahah ) because I know my knowledge towards depression is so little and I don't want to equate my sadness to depression. 

Hence I've been diligently jotting down when and why my random sadness strikes inside my notebook to see the frequency . I keep wanting to escape the reality despite being stuck in the humongous notes to be reread and revised. 

I told myself to wait and see how this emotion goes after the exam , and so far I guess the random sadness was due to the emotion things I'm dealing with and parts of it are maybe because of the exam. 

Blessed with the good people around.

But overtimes, I reflected upon how merciful is Allah to me, for granting me kind people in my life , that without them, I am not able to go through CLP peacefully. 

They are not like just kind. kind of person, its like the kindest I am ever blessed with. 

From families that keeps giving me words of wonders , to a friend's family that provides shelter and foods for me, constantly giving motivation and entertaining my sudden breakdown and just want to mumble about how the days go, to a friend who bought me foods because I've been craving for one and I'm feeling so weary that I burst out,to a friend who drove us from and to the exam hall and filling our stomachs before we got home to continue revising for the next paper. Despite experiencing all negative feelings , Allah certainly is very kind to me by sending me people who genuinely care about my pre-during-post exam emotions. 

Advanced Tertiary College.

 

Blessings include my choice of choosing ATC as a part of my CLP journey, initially the biggest reason should be the lower fees ( since I am paying it with my own savings ) but it turns out that they offer more than what I paid for. 

They offered comfort through constant motivation, with elements of pushing you beyond the boundaries, to aim more than just passing, but to pass excellently. My lecturers and coordinator are so helpful and inspiring in so many ways. One of my lecturer was previously a public prosecutor, and having known how hard Criminal Procedure and Evidence were, I know that he must be so good in that two subjects, and he had indirectly instill my passion to become one of the public prosecutor ( but after that Criminal Procedure paper, my dreams kinda shattered into half HAHA , but my friends who know this secret dream of mine * now no longer ahaha said to keep praying and believing, you never know, someday I may be one of the Public Prosecutor, ameeeen )  

I can't emphasis enough on how helpful are my classmates . I know I am always among the minority since undergraduate years, but this time around , it still feels different. Despite seeing racism pulls are being triggered everywhere, I am blessed with great groups around me. So much loves for this institution.

I'll be treasuring all the good times traveling to and from the class. That's one of the opportunity I took to walk around and see the world. I observed on the hue of purplish a night sky, seeing people inside the train , and basically to feel connected to the human world after dedicating your time and energy for the knowledge I am seeking. 

Legal Profession, upholding the interest of the profession.

As much as CLP was testing my emotions, it has been giving me teasers about the profession I am venturing into. I know this might sound too law'ish to handle - but I'm still writing HA-HA 

I got a bit cautious when it comes to posting things up online due to presumption of publication 114A Evidence Act 1950 , and everytime I ate like there's no tomorrow , feeling full and sleepy, I told my friends that my Glasgow Coma Scale (GCS) is 0/15 unable to respond to anything lol and my friend goes on to say how nerd I sounded. 

And in order to make sense on how law on bankruptcy works, I told myself that the draconian effect it carries, hence court seems to put more cautions on quantifying interest compared to the loose-kind of law in winding up companies. Because after all, the law is there to help to facilitate and give orders to life, hence you can't help but to find human empathy , or human values inside the law. No matter how much you said about how misleading the law can be , its always about the people who is implementing the law, but as far as I am concerned, the system is trying to cope with all the changes and for certain to be able to cater the interest of justice. 

Justice after all, is to put the right thing at the right place. 

I found it easier for me to relate the law and the cases with things that are happening in my surrounding so I am able to use my brain cells for other subjects that seems hard to relate in real life ( I mean everything that is so procedural basis ) ( I can go on with all these law things you see haha , I'm in love maybe haha ) 

Post exam thoughts and to do lists !

Before the exam starts, I told myself that if  this certain someone I had in mind didn't showed up to say good luck or all the best or anything that concerns my exam, that should be a significant sign that I should move on for good. And though I silently hoped that it would happen otherwise, the person didn't show up at all. Hence I'm taking that as my prayers being answered by Him. 

Its better that way. Its always better this way. 

Now that the exam ended, I need to be sorting my life out, it feels a bit awkward not having a  thing to be forcefully revised HAHA. 

 I want to start reading all the fictions books I've been piling up since I couldn't remember when , I want to revise my resumes, I've been filling up my schedule well hopefully I am utilising the time well. 

For those who're still reading up till this point , please pray that I'll pass this paper in one sitting and insyaAllah with flying colours too please , thank you * love emoticon* 

Here's to some pictures :D and screenshots that matters :p

MY ATC CLP CLASS OF 2017/2018 , spot me !

me post exam with my favourite dress :D

with Ms Kash, our programme coordinator.

with Ms Irine - our General Paper and Civil Procedure lecturer

the exam hall ! I sat at the same seat through out the exam I believe there's a barakah there ceh

after Evidence paper pose HAHA before that chunkiest Professional Paper

my mom and my aunties paid me a visit after my occasionally breaking down moments thank you ibu thank you acik :')

someone is obviously lacking in her studies back in high school HA-HA

they said to see your current mood, see your frequently used emoticon - I am emotionally disturbed , easily irritated with some hopes that things gets better

They never knew how this matters to me.

people whom I treasured in life

 

Love, the'ann