Back to December ~ ~

I was supposed to be doing my (long overdue) submission by now but its December and I am feeling the obligation to keep this site updated. Pretty much for my ownself to see and reread back. Like I may be once in the past a wise scholar ( you wish ) or plainly young young dumb and broke *que singing *

I don't even know what to write anymore inside here, my life has been pretty stagnant. I mean the stress from the workload is always there but that doesn't deprived me emotionally. In fact I am feeling that a huge chunk part of my life would be missing if the workloads are taken away from me. 

But you see this is where the conflict started to arise !? I love what I am doing , but somehow someday it gets ugly and weary when you saw there's few trials scheduled for the day and so much so there's witnesses for every cases and you're not able to prepare a thing ?! 

That's when skills like fast paced reading ( still picking up ) - being meticulous ( when I am the opposite ) comes handy - and my brain had to think how to make those facts being presented through the mouth of the witnesses , without making it very obvious that hello sir I want this answer please. Dayyum to times where the answer was totally different from what I expected ( my heart sank slowly like the Titanic ) ( playing sappiest violin playlist ). 

But to later realized that I am here to facilitate justice, not only to the side that I am representing , but to the court , to the accused as well. My part is to lay out the facts , the best I can and let everything decided by the court whether or not the charge can be sustained or otherwise. 

Soooo instead of getting on my nerve on how things turned out to be the way it has turned out, I managed to stay poise ( as if haha ) ( paused for seconds because aca-excuse me THAT ANSWER ARE YOU SERIOUS ?!!! - you got to be kidding me )  ( I know you're not kidding - you're on oath ) [ those are exactly the lines that played inside my head while looking partially miserable on the outside ] 

My love life , surprisingly , not testing me as much as it does in the past. Not that I wanted to experience it once again lels. 

Few days ago while I was sobbing over a conversation I had with A ( I sobbed a lot with A, and I am not good at hiding the change in my voice tone , or A have heard enough and passed the beginner level of knowing Anis Najwa HA-HA ) I told A that I haven't meet someone that pursues/ make effort to be with me. It slipped through my blank mind - and I guess its not fair to say so isn't it? But still I am trying to justify myself , the reason why I said so its because I never know if its permissible to be asking for more when I am used to be okay with whatever treatment received. That asking for more than what it is , seems greedy heh? to say that I deserve to get the best, how best is best, or how better is better?

And I had few random things I did over the past one month, I finally had a serious Ikea haul time buying lucky draw presents for the upcoming annual dinner. All these while Ikea was about 20 meatballs, a bowl of mushroom , six pieces of chicken wings and two springrolls , not to forget sos biji sawi ( I swear I just know mustard is biji sawi thanks to the label the put HAHA ) , now here's to all fancy name of Kavalkad, Lenner ? like how I am supposed to imagine Kavalkad is for pans? put something like Kavalpan? at least there's clue to these blues clues * mail time que singing 

I saw myself going through the booklet and the price tags as well. Just when we thought we're prepared , I guess you can never trust a woman who says, I know exactly what I want to buy, grab those and make our way to the teller, to later stop at designated section to find fancier stuff with similar price tag... of course, we do what we need to do, we rethink , for wise purchase >.< 

to two weeks later, finding myself strolling around Tanjung Emas Muar after attended two Machinants x Machinants weddings. These days my cravings for Nasi Minyak is so real that I badly want to attend wedding so I can eat nasi minyak, and now craving satisfied but wait, another wedding this weekend. Talking about wedding, I think I've come to a term with my ownself ( pun boleh ) that I wanted a very closed wedding , cost is a thing but not major, I am no good at hiding my grumpiness and tired face, what to do, I am always honest HA HA . That I can't stand the idea of draining out my energy meeting countless of strangers on my happy day. Very closed wedding means very close friends and families , at least the people whom I know genuinely wanting to share the big day and wanted to see me happy with the person I choose to be with for life. 

just when I thought I was beautiful at the age of 17, my thought was absolutely wrong haha

there got to be some prints of Muar isn't it lol happynya Anis Najwa 

with beautiful people with beautiful hearts 

these are my favourite shots from the day 

But this is subjected to my parents approval - who knows I might be someday craving for ATTENTIONS HAHA that I wanted a big wedding. No one ever knows. 

after all, I might be seeing myself writing something at the very end of December reflecting over my one year, the most significant part is of course about the job. And just how it shaped me over months, and luckily the journey was recorded in writings and lots of selfies in the gallery ( I need some love for myself don't judge ) . 

worth noting that I think , as verified by others too, I gradually , positively change my physique thanks to the depleted energy after 6 that I no longer wants to eat dinner ( but lets not speak too soon of things I am yet to be tested with HA-HA ) 

It still feels surreal though how 25 is such a roller-coaster ride. blessed x grateful. 

...


so see you again after I had my days off soon ? HEHE nak cuti without feeling guilty pun susah ye.

 Love, the'ann