Too much emotions.

Assalamualaikum and a pleasant day. I don't really have "so-called" pleasant days thee days. Whether its me who're taking things for serious. Or its just the emotion side of me, being a girl . Or what. 

Nak nangis :'(

I am a little bit reserved these days. Ever since the incident happened, I try not to talk in class. Be as silent as I can. Talk whenever I feel the need. Talk when the lecturer is inside the class. Other than that, I'll prefer to keep myself silent. Isolating myself at my place. I'm just happy to be that way. Because I don't want to feel the hurt twice. There's a wall that I need to build surround me to keep myself in a comfort way I wish it to be.

But the outcome seems to be different, I tend to be more fierce ad strict in combo.  I realized that I hardly consume normal conversation between me and my friend. I hate to be that way. As I promised myself to let go things and move forward but, its hard. Its really hard for me. Dealing with boys were never easy for me since high-school and I end up to be this. Trying to be as ignorant as I can . But literally, I fail.

I am not expecting anything from anyone. Not even a little bit of understanding. Not anything. Its just me dealing with myself. With my 9 emotion . Healing the wound. By myself.

Allah tengah nak uji.
He wouldn't let you go through things that you can't cope with. 
He wouldn't let you go through things like this alone.


Solace.

Need
Solace.

A real tranquility.  

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