Najwa and her stories , that she never remembers

I don't have better tittles guys , my head is currently filled with all law jargons - lacuna - dangerous drus act - adverse inference - caveats ugh 

I am just so blessed to have my mom in this world, wishing that someday I will inherit many many many of her good traits, and I wish nothing but the highest level of paradise for her and for my dad. ameeen :) 

the moon shines brightly tonight and it somehow eased me inside :')

and I am glad too that I asked my mom this , and I'm just so glad the spark of the question come from the recitation of Surah Yusuf - particularly on the phrase where Prophet Yusuf told his dad about the dreams he had. 

And I feel obliged and delighted at the same time to record and write this down. Because it is a story that I never remembered, and it comes personally from a person who remembers every little details of it. 

And maybe someday I will be reminded again about this whole thing - and perhaps will make me more cautious when, insyaAllah one day being a mommy to be. Apart from fancying endless baby bump - because I seems to have one now ey hahahahhahah kbye. 

This was drafted few days ago in the train enroute from Melaka to Kuala Lumpur, hence yeah. 

So yesterday on our way back to Melaka , the radio played Surah Yusuf ( well my Arab may not be that good but it’s been quite a few times I run through the tafsir and story of Prophet Yusuf , which I deemed as one of the bawang merah bawang putih version in sirah )

Go and heads up there , read the whole story from the start, its mesmerising on how its being recorded in the Quran. 

Then Ibu pointed out a particular ayat from the surah , a doa which she practiced throughout her life

InsyaAllah we all know that pregnant mothers are encouraged to read Surah Yusuf through their pregnancies , which I initially thought because to have a beautiful baby ; but if you read through the chapter with it’s translation , perhaps there’s only one part speaks about Yusuf is so good looking - the story of Zulaika and him ( and several other women ) 

I was really enlightened by my kakak usrah about this story of Nabi Yusuf - and the assignments we had during our circle session, huwaaaa iMisssss !

Where one important lesson we can learn from the surah is about Nabi Yaakub lost his son , not once but twice , Yusuf and Bunyamin - that never once, he never lost his hope in Allah. 

What is even worse is that , his other children who envied Yusuf and Bunyamin , were the masterminds behind the lost his two sons . Despite such betrayal from his other sons , he remains calm and asked Allah to grant him the most beautiful patience out of the test. Yes despite of being a prophet, he's still a human being, a father - he grieved over the lost of his beloved sons. 

So I asked Ibu , did she really finish surah Yusuf every single day throughout her six ( and more ) pregnancies ( I guess I’m already at the legit age to ask that and plus it’s 12++ am in the morning and we’re still at the highway ) . 

Because I know it’s not a short surah and she got other commitments

She said she do it interchangeably with Surah Lukman and towards the end of pregnancies, she read Surah Maryam.

And hearing to her stories , I can see how important , how tough to bring a soul into the world , if you wanted to have a bright children in the future , the works definitely starts way before the pregnancy alone. Because it does in many ways will affect your children’s personalities and character traits

Najwa and her personalities haha

She told me when she was pregnant with me , she just started teaching at Methodist Banting. And she cycled to class until she’s 8 month pregnant , only stops when the other senior teachers nags her to stop cycling because they’re worried . 

She said she will always go out early to cycle to school and once she reached school , she will take quite some time to catch her breath ( to relax and whatnot ) , which really explains parts of my traits now ,* and I was like oh emmmm geee this is the reason why *  I always walk or go to class early since Intec days because I need that some time to relax before the class starts , or else it will chaotic for me inside.

And interestingly , she just remembered that while she’s pregnant with me , the headmaster elected her to be in charge for the library, she even attended a one week course for that purpose , hence ever since I was in her womb , I’m familiar with this library setting ( maybe explains the me who can read everywhere I wish ) ( well I wish I read as much as I do in the past ) ( now CLP books also don't want to read this girl haha ) 

Despite opposing to the idea of me being alone most of the time in Kuala Lumpur, she totally understand why I seems okay to those things - because when she was pregnant with me, she's the same too, went here and there, wanted to stand on her own, and she don't want to wait or rely on the others. 

She told me about the other 5 pregnancies as well , which I can relate what she’s gone through throughout the journey affect our personalities . And I realised that perhaps such bond mommies and their children had , the pregnancy journey shared between mommies and their children throughout that seven to nine months of the process - truly the reason why mommies know their children well.

Towards the end of the conversation , she even said that she wanted to rectify all the wrongs she done that affects our us, our personalities ( huwaaaa I can cry because she done no wrong , she had , excellently raise us up ) , and if there's something wrong about our personalities, that have been tainted with surroundings and whatnot, never her fault to begin with. 

And because I’m in the middle of being conflicted with relationship wise , I know that building a family , a good family starts with being a good woman and man,  with great qualities.

I know how subjective 'great qualities' can be, and one must not be so demanding - but we have rights on what to expect on our partners isn't it. 

People have flaws they do, and will continue have even after marriage but from the very beginning, some traits are so important as the basis of growing a family tree that last till eternity.  It is indeed something that you need to put extra effort into it. And it’s not something someone can take so lightly.

As for now, I'll just focus on mending myself, for whatever things that need one. 

It was such a pleasure to hear to he stories and I guess this is one of the answer I’m looking for in the midst of me losing my way.

Thank you Ibu

its just feeling so good to see a familiar colour , and maybe its just the place is different now. 

Love, the'ann