Reflecting 2017.
Its been a while for everything, for writing , for pondering over things happening surround me and putting it into records. Life has not been easy since then, and I've expected it gets tougher, but as time passes by, I become much lenient to a tougher situations and I am now is much at ease. Things indeed falling onto its places.
Just like in pastyears, I am going to reflect over what happened in this one year , so one day I will find myself scrolling over my old post and see how much I've been through for the past year. I'm writing this just right before I'm going to work. Its been really a while since I got the urge of writing.
2017 had been such a crazily beautiful bumpy journey in my life.
The highlight of the year is all about me and the mixed feelings of leaving the UK for good. Graduation - building professional life - planning personal life - there's just so many things to write today gahhhhh I'm so emotional at the moment.
That fluffiest white thingy !
January starts with an exciting trip to Poland, where I signifies one of His greatest creation, the tiny white fluffy thing we called snow in Zakopane. Had my first skiing experience, well I must say it was a torturing one haha because we don't take the ski lift, so that an hour spent just to see me trying hard to walk up the hill and ski down, and repeat it again and again iCry.
Hahah it has not been that long since I have my undergraduate classes, but I couldn't really remember any significant details about it , ohhhh anyway did I every tell you guys I had this constant crush to a Canadian guy, whom I look from far, and he is perhaps someone I looked forward to see in class.
It turns out that he was my neighbour during our final year but I bet he never noticed me, but nevertheless we took a picture together on our graduation day , that was perhaps the last time I would ever see him, this crush meant nothing at all really but it plays quite a part in my undergraduate life ha ha.
Poland was perhaps the last overseas trip I had in 2017. I don't think or even remember did I spent my time other than Sheffield during my spring break. I was saving pennies to bought myself a new phone. It took me solid six month to do the savings, life was a bit tight at those times, but I had to choose anyway. So I chose to put extra savings - plus I knew my family will be around during my graduation.
Sick days :( and exam days reflections
En route to final exam, after Spring Camp and Mukhayyam , I had one of perhaps the longest sick days, which lasted more than 2 weeks, I thought at start it was mere sore throat. But it gets worst as days goes by, and me being me, I googled for the symptoms, so it showed I had the signs of tonsillitis
I was bedridden, but at the same time I had this tense of studying because I need to see myself fighting for that first class * I always know its impossible for me lol haha * but my second year grades are not that strong - my Evidence paper ruined it all, I got a 48 for that , like I NEVER GET SOMETHING BELOW 50 DURING MY UNDERGRADUATE life so I was a bit terrified , kiasu asian haha
I saw myself gargling lukeworm salt water every morning, constantly making honey and lemon drinks, and forcing myself to study basically. I knew that I rarely fall sick throughout the three years, so the first time I got the hint of me not being in my pink of health,
I know this time of the year will be so rough on me, yes it was. I lost my voice, just one of my weakest time - I refused to make an appointment with the doctor because guess what somebody never had a GP in her three years in Cardiff wa ha ha ha ha.
I guess up till my exam days, I wasn't fully recovered, but with His Mercy and His Love, He eased it all for me, I was really worried on how my European Union paper turns out, it turns out unexpectedly lol because I don't think I can go above a 3rd class , because all the germany-kind-of-case-names seems so blurry inside my head, then you're surrounded by people who can ace EU very well, its not helping with the aftermath of EU paper syndrome lol.
Undergraduate result is FINALLY OUT !
Alhamdulillah, surprise surprise I got a 2:1 for EU. All praises to Him, I graduated with a 2:1 , I remember the day the result is out, after that very long wait, which is not so good to make law students wait for too long , I calculated manually on my points and ( I am never good in math haha ), I told my mum, I don't think I am in that 2:1 group.
Then when the official transcript is out like few hours after that , it turns out differently and it was one of the emotional days for me. Alhamdulillah.
Blessed Ramadhan and thrilling Syawal
apart from studying wise, this year I spent my Ramadhan and Syawal in the UK. I've told this for few times that I really enjoyed that long hours of fasting that I continued fasting, more than 6 days sunnah fasting in Syawal , because I thought its easier because you don't need to think of what to eat throughout the day, sometimes it felt so weird not to fast though.
As a result to that, I did really tone down my weight huhu and it had been constant since then. (hewhew)
My ramadhan this year is blessing for me, because we had the fairly short night, alhamdulillah Allah makes me fully utilize those night, that humbling feeling looking up the sky every night , telling stories I can never tell to human and thanking Him every possible second for choosing this sinner to have a personal time with Him. I know I'm being comforted, I am at my most fragile state, but I always know, He's always there.
This year, Syawal has been so exciting and thrilling too !
Up to the last day, no one can surely said when the first Syawal would be, I was lazying around in the house , hahahah I don't eat just eggs as I imagined, we made an effort right after it was announced and shared everywhere that its confirmed that Syawal will be the next day.\
It was around 7.00 pm and I rushed to the kitchen to prepare the small feast. It was after 9.00 I bet, the community ( my neighbour ) asked us to help with satay preparation HAHAHA I swear like who eats satay pagi raya I will curse you. It was fun for the first few sticks, but a torture after perhaps 40 sticks of satay?
I can still remember the feeling of spending the first day of Syawal away from your loved ones. It feels so bad though, but I said to myself, I need to savour this feelings so I would find massive of reasons to be home for Syawal :D
Graduation trip/day
I had these imagination where graduation will be about you taking photographs, with all the hat flying in the air and wide smile.
But after experiencing it myself, its a big no. I don't know about local universities but as far as I am concern, Cardiff allows us to take the rob and hat just few hours before the ceremony and the heels are no help at all - it was blazing hot that day ( alhamdulillah its not raining ), my face was so red ugh , and I was partially grumpy few hours before because my graduation outfit is just so big, and I dislike it. Maybe I was tired. So I decided to wear my birthday outfit back in 2014 for my graduation. Though its quite a loose - still it looks much presentable on the day.
We had a short trip to Bath , with my family, a short but a nice one, I brought my parents to meet my mom's friend, whom she met on the cruise at the Melaka river. Gahhhh I wish I contacted them way earlier, and have a foster parents in the UK hewwww.
Leaving Cardiff, for real.
I always know this day will come, and I cried while waiting for the bus to London to come. Cardiff had been nothing but a wonderful one for me. A place where I am introduced to a new dimension of what I believe, a place of very warm people , a place that offers more than just tranquility , its a place of where parts of my soul will remain at.
Hoping that one day I'll be back at this city and till then, stay warm like you always do Cardiff ( huwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa this made me so teary already )
Leaving the UK , hoping someday I'll be here
Oh yeaaaaaaah ! We had free entrance tickets to the London attraction places - so we decided to take the bus tour - cruise - London Eye - Madame Tussaud because we had only a day to do that all. I was not really in the mood because London is just way too hectic for me and I hate the vibes, maybe I was too attached to Cardiff I don't know.
But considering the tickets are free, and I know how costly it can be, I should enjoy these fanciness isn't it?
I left UK for good on the 21st of July.
and that very moment, I know
life will not be the same anymore.
Back in Malaysia , finally...
I thought I could laze around and enjoy the heat lol no I can't. I consioucly made a decision to join a volunteering program which was after 3/4 days after I'm home for good. Good Najwa good ( cries a river of chicken bloods because I don't cry bloods haha )
Met the GE'EF in August and it feels so good to see these girls , because even after meeting countless of circles of friends, they stayed the way they are. Just like how we knew each other back in school, with an added maturity and of course beauty ( won't deny this ). Went for Aina's engagement in Kelantan and went to help to facilitate Journey of Muslim camp.
Within that one month after graduation I'm just a very busy woman.
And the episodes of travelling around are just massive that my mom grounded me like two weeks before CLP starts - well fair enough I never stayed home for so long anyway haha.
Certificate of Legal Practice.
Hardly believe that its been months since I first start my CLP classes, to be honest I still had that ugh-freaking-sleepy classes , but I'm enjoying the adrenaline rushes (tipuuuuu) ha ha. I admired my classy professional lecturers , I even had the dream of becoming a CLP lecturer in the future lol because of them. Nothing really fun ey about CLP to talk about.
Paralegal , yayyyy someone is working huhu
This 16 year old looking woman is currently working yeay ! Hahah I had few remarks these days saying that I look young ( kenyit kenyit mata haha ) , but the truth is I'm 23, somedays I guess I am not competent as 23 helppppp me.
Working wise, I'm enjoying it ! My very silly coworkers are helping me a lot with the files, and with the law too. I would say that I am able to cope with working and studying because of them. Its tolerable for now I guess.
To be honest, the salary is not that much, but considering that I'm okay with it , I hope there are blessings in this small amount insyaAllah. I landed on this job after trying to venture other areas apart from law - I ventured into marketing which I thought might be tolerable to be done together with studying.
But apparently after trying a one week training, it drains me out A LOT. Because its not what I like doing in life, it feels so tense and I don't think I can be happy for a long time, if I choose to stay earlier. I deduced that now I am very into the law but nevertheless I was thankful for the chances and opportunity given , I firmly believe the reason why I ventured into those lines is for Him to make me really really assured that law is for me, and nothing else (gitewwww) haha
Its just so awkward to put this down in writing, but I am in the phase of compromising so many things for this matter, okay still awkward, but I hope you'll pray for me insyaAllah for this matter. But somehow it feels so good to have someone that takes into account my likes and dislikes, and they actually sacrifice something for you hahaha I'm about to say yayyy for that lol.
Lets keep this to myself and my best friends for now.
All in all
2017 had been such a good year for me.
few days ago while I'm battling with my feelings I partially thought that I'm depressed so I did the depression anxiety test, it turns out that I am in my totally normal phase, so I thought lets accept the fact you're normal haha.
I loose my rythym while writing this, its been so long since I last write something, so the style kinda changed so yeah bare with me. It feels so so good to be able to write again, and to be reminded of all the blessings and tests in life, which indirectly a blessing too. so I will have more and more reasons to be grateful again , and again.
Hoping 2018 will be much much thrilling and easing for me insyaAllah.
Hows your 2017 anyway?
Comments