Things changed.

Its been, really a while since the last update ! and I lost count of the days we fasted. 

Okay this one is really a while. I usually ( or shall I say yearly ) will post up an entry during birthday as I know how significant it is, and in this case, it was to me.

 Its a day that reminds you , that once you're a joy and blessing to your parents ( hopefully till this very day) and its just a day filled with prayers you received from people surround you. Well you might have different thoughts, but nevermind no big deal lol. 

I guess ever since the General Election, its like breathing in the new air. Your timeline is filled with patriotic people, the government becoming much transparent than before. Which its something new to see, something really good I must say. 

And seeing how responsive the government towards the citizens commentaries on policies , they must hired quite a number of people to keep a close update with what is going on online ( lol hire me too please ! Can't help but to notice all these little things and subtly getting triggered over stuff but it usually ends there HA-HA I need better platform of voicing out opinion and thoughts ) 

In a meantime ever since my last update, there's just so many things happening. 

I clock 24th last May . Not everyday someone turns 24 on the 24th ( you get what I'm saying? ) in fact it will only happen once unless I'll live another century which seems unlikely. 

and suddenly my life was filled with plans and impromptu dates. It feels so good to be spending some of your days with the people that matters in your life. Living a nomad life over weekend after all is not that bad. I jumped from places to places to catch things up with the people whom I treasured in this 24th year of living. 

( pretty summing up my life and the people I met for the past few days haha ) 

Since its a bit hard to have a decent time to type things out on the blog, plus with the inconvenience of having to sit with your laptop , I keep things documented in the Instagram lol whoever came up with the idea of Instagram is perhaps a genius. 

as always, my post doesn't seems to feel complete without me contemplating over my studies HA-HA. 

Because its just too overwhelming , I can't believe it that we're already approaching the seventh week of revision and I KNOW THERE'S JUST A LOT MORE THINGS I DON'T KNOW HELP ME. As I was trying to answer the Criminal Procedure Code paper yesterday, I know that somehow the answer is resonating between the cell membranes , in that dampen (shortest term) of memory HA-HA but its just not connecting. 

Which is so frustrating. I know I am studying constantly without fail but I know I am not doing good enough. 

I guess beneath different events that happened to me for the past few weeks, one significant time was when I had a late terawih with Ajlaa and Aliatul last Sunday. 

Somehow it brings comfort to me as it reminds me of the days I was in Cardiff. 

A year ago we take turns to lead the terawih prayers since Darul Isra' takes it longer till midnight , we do it together in the house. Going through the same website to read the prayers and just being in that very moment, it rekindles the joy and good feeling of being in the UK. 

There's just so many changes we all experienced and being in the UK was indeed one of the best time in our life. Not that I ever realize that the distance can be a total comfort. 

We talked about how priorities changes in life, how care-free life used to be. Days where you're not bound by responsibilities like helping with the chores. 

Obviously when  you're living abroad with your friends, nothing much in the household to be maintained together. 

The house is always clean , everything seems to be nicely organized in the shelves, bathroom cleanliness is never a question ; I enjoyed cleaning the shower cubicle , and its just three / four of us in the house and apart from that, you only have yourself to attend to. 

No peculiar taste to be entertained, life is much settled with just a tin of sardine in sunflower oil that cost me 30 pence, with a mixture of tomatoes and cucumber , with hints of mayonaise , I mean its just my taste bud. 

But now having to live with many more things to be taken into consideration, more than one taste bud to be considered, it feels , I'm ageing for real (WHAT A CONCLUSION HA-HA) 

and because of that, my mind is actively running, trying to escape the reality by reminiscing the good old days. There's just so many expectations to meet here in this country. And somehow can't help it, its tiring.

Now I know the price between having to serve your bond with the government as a government scholar and not having one. Lol till the very day, I can still remember how comforting it was to be cuddling with your bears beneath the duvet while the winter hits. Funny how I looked forward to those gloomy days. 

I can surely say that I've finally moved on for good from a feeling that has been there , tying me down for months , its a clear sign of moving on when I no longer had my frequent visit checking on the update neither anticipating any replies. I was absolutely right to figure that, its the feeling that is attached to the person is what I missed the most. Like the dopamine effect ( lol I had a fruitful insight concerning this ) 

You deserve to be happy Anis , You deserve to be happy Najwa :) 

Till we meet again !  

 Love, the'ann