Privileged life I’m living in...

It’s always okay to start small. 

Couple of days ago I saw this one series of tweet that says about do not fill your head by thinking of petty little things and it was further elaborated , that petty little things concern relationship and whatnot. 

Though I agree that we have many other bigger things to be concerned with, I beg to differ on the points that they are petty little things that is not worth thinking / filing your head with. I mean there’s always a start of something , and our thinking cap should be slowly trained. It might start with the so called petty things , slowly through time , with an added maturity and exposure , slowly it will develop and invite other things to be in our concern. 

But little that we appreciate some petty things seems to meant a lot to somebody else breathing on this earth.

I wanted to learn to be somebody that is able to accommodate whatever feelings you encountered when you’re starting something. Somebody that is able to offer comfort to whatever stage you’re trying to fit in or to climb to. Somebody that is able to appreciate everyone is struggling and every little things that is in someone’s concern , matters. 

Be a thinker. Have something inside your head to think about. Train the mind to see beyond what is physically present in front of us. What’s beneath the creation of scorching sun , the kittens that run around begging for foods , or people running under the rain seeking for shelter. 

I once stand in the train and looked at everyone around. It was a bit late and the class ends late like usual. Feeling a bit lethargic after work with fussy clients to handle , I looked around. 

Perhaps in the same train is someone who has family to feed and working very long hours to be able to create a sustainable home for the family , someone has his or her own selves to attend to after a very tiring day , in that crowd someone is perhaps standing in the same shoes as mine , carving their way out to figure success in their own definition , some may had a pretty rough day , some may not have anything that they looked forward to the next day. 

And nobody said anything. It’s just me , trying to make me feel better , everyone is struggling and stopping may not be the choice for him or her. 

I often mistaken these days where there seems to be thousand of things to be revised and I’m seeing it as a burden and it resulted with me having all sorts of panic attack. I’m not able to say what are the sections that apply when somebody next to me whispers the answers correctly. 

It’s hard but I’m living a very ‘hard’ privileged life. Its the education that I’m very privileged to be educated with. And after long denials , I finally said to myself , you don’t want all these to go wasted . You’ve put effort into this and Please do continue putting in more. Make this worthwhile. I still got the time. I do. 

Pray hard for me please xx

Love, the'ann