Aladdin v Hercules

disclaimer : I can't emphasize enough on this but I had to clarify that the following content of the post have no relation with any living or dead thing in this world , hence abstain yourself from drawing conclusion as follows 'OMG Najwa you found the one?' or 'Who's this #romeovoicebitingroses with included smirking emoji 😏 ' 

disclaimer II - I wrote this in two different times , one when the votes are still going ( 8 hours or so ) and the next one is after more than 24 hours the poll ended. Hence it may sound a bit of hanky panky in terms of how the post flow. But I am just too lazy to be editing HA-HA or else this will be posted after me having my first newborn ( acah ) ( HAHA) 

so I had this one thought inside my head which I think I need to have second (third)(fourth) opinion concerning it. Hence I made a poll on instagram after contemplating about not posting. So I did.

I made the tittle fancier , not that I personally know Aladdin neither Hercules but Guy 1 and Guy 2 sounds boring :p

The situation inquires you to choose between two guys who happened to be in different situation as I provided below for your reference. 

not yet the final vote , this like after 6 hours voting?

I am here to draw conclusions from the responses which I advise you who haven't read the responses, to check out my instagram @anisnnazari to do so ( I am just to lazy to repost things again plus my instagram account is public at the moment since I am not bothered to approve and disapprove people haha )

so upon the responses I received, I can't be drawing one final conclusion on which guy is better , I mean at the very start that's not even the answer I am looking , but more on the reasoning behind the choice. 

Before going into the conclusion , I need to clarify that the responses came from the people who watched my Instagram story which most of them are about my age ( 20 ish , with some exception the older and the younger ones being minority viewers ranging from 100-300 people per story ) and those who voted , I think I know most of them, I mean I have rough ideas on their backgrounds , education per se. So I would clarify that the outcome might not represent or include your opinions in it ( hah that's why la you need to follow me on Instagram haha ) ( for misleading boring contents haha ) 

Based on the result ,

Off 406 views , 74 voted and 39 in favour of Guy 1 ( uuuuuuuuuu firework sounds inserted ) , 35 voted for the Guy 2. This is not like saying Guy 1 is better than Guy 2 or vice versa. Because I just wanted to see the reasons why people make the choices. And choices are based on experiences, personalities, circumstances and much more.

So whatever your choices and reasoning are, I am very very thankful for the personal insights , beautiful real life stories ( I even asked a sister to share her Istikharah prayer , lol read again the disclaimer above, I'm keeping it for the future thank you ) . 

well actually I would say my words , my conclusion don't do justice to all the responses I got , I may be leaving many details behind , but the responses are there featured on my Instagram highlight , you can always head there before I decided to make it private ( leuls ) .

This is written and drawn based on most of the responses , I kinda like summarize it based on how I think it should be summarized HA-HA

Guy 1 ( I might even question why in this world I use Guy 1 , should have used Aladdin v Hercules or something ) ( yeay its the tittle ) 

For those who're choosing GUY 1 are off the opinion that being on the same page , wavelength of thinking , to be with someone who can talk about everything in this world is a must have characteristic in a partner. That these people are worth the wait. But worth the wait is not asserted based on 'time will tell you' . 

Upon choosing Guy 1, you should assert some questions to determine where is this relationship going. And for girls, I am not sure whether this applies to both long or short distance relationship , but this must be done through conversation instead of just judging by how he behave/ reacted. Your question should be clear enough so you will receive , hopefully a clear answer. 

That the relationship is driven towards marriage. This is not like me trying to say that marriage should be the end goal of everything, but that's what we normally expect . At the very least that is what I expect to happen, which to marry each other. 

And not solely relying on the phrase of ' If its meant to be then it will be' with no effort attached to it. Effort here could be crucially financial wise , not only that you need to have conversations on where its leading towards to. It may not be certain enough but at least you have the idea - and from there you can tell whether its worth the wait or not - after all Guy 1 is someone who you can speak about everything in this world.

Worth the wait has no exact timeline to it , because someone who choose over the Guy 2 were questioning about how long you should wait then? I mean it depends , if you think the guy is totally worth the wait , then wait. At least have the discussion on how long should you stay ( and compromise ) 

Guy 2- the one who have it all and ready

Bonus ! all the 'committed' 'stability' 'security' is there for a girl to feel safe enough to continue with a long term relationship.  Its no question that most women look into those qualities to settle down. And I agree to those who said that women have softer heart that tends to love someone who loves them because I experienced it before and I am sure for those who're reading too. 

It takes time for sure , but if you're a very strong minded person with very bold personality , this might be a big risk to take .

Because you're confronting someone who you haven't yet know what's his thoughts or stands on certain matters. That upon knowing you can't seems to tolerate it with your thinking. Some things in this world are worth tolerating for , for example different ways on how two families dine on table , but for some and for some clashes in how thinking works , its a big deal to be dealt with. 

Choosing Guy 2 means you're giving yourself and the person the chance , and chances can a be dud sometimes. But the same chances can lead to a lucky end. I mean both Guy 1 and Guy 2 had their very own chances to begin with , but one is perhaps the time in question and another one is how well the chances given are being taken care off.

But I think fairly, give yourself a chance, talk to the Guy 2, like he might be the one that you never knew (yet) exist. Not like committing to it seriously , just talk h(oo)man haha . This is not like trying to two-timing two different guy , take your own time at trying to know both of them.

It goes without saying that someone who wants you will genuinely make effort to have you in their life. And what's genuine could not be interpreted as the same from people to people. Genuine effort could be the amount of time spent , the communications that happened between those two , the ability to try to understand on how complicated you can be as a human . 

If genuine effort is to be reiterated as making money alone, then if your partner is currently studying - you can't be expecting him to earn money at that very moment , hence for him not earning is considered not genuine, then how cruel we are at judging someone's effort. 

Hence why I said genuine is something you personally felt or experience. You can tell those from the words he spoke or his responds to your questions. Or how he act upon it. You don't want me to be explaining this for the whole night isn't it

I think at this point you may tell that at which pole I am leaning on.

For now I think I am very much on the Guy 1 side , maybe because I am always very honest with my thoughts , that I really need someone who already halfway there in trying to know me , my emotions , understand me, or should I say someone whom I believe,  can handle me.

That if somebody is not responding genuinely or more like just conforming to my thoughts without saying his stand , it can be a bit of turn off for me. Its always better to fight with two differing opinions rather than accepting on how one person think and that's it. And I talk a lot as a person, hence I need someone whom I can talk with for the rest of my life . I am not saying Guy 2 will not possess all these qualities because you haven't try , but you need to be going from the Square 1 again , talking and trying to know the person.

But I never know, this is the 24ish me who's speaking , maybe as I grow older, the situation might differ that time is in question , that I think I am ready to settle down ( meaning to get married and breed and getting all the loves haha ) but Guy 1 is not ready for it still , I might stand on the different side.

It attracts me that one of the responds says, if Guy 1 is out of context , the person will not opt for Guy 2 just for the sake of settling down. That she's better off alone.

Thats quite interesting isn't it? 

I love how different schools of thoughts are being expressed through this impromptu research HA-HA I could've been killed by the professional researchers to even say this is a research HA-HA

Anyway congratulations for those who don't need to go through these sets of dilemma like I hope it will not be my situation either. Marriage is a life-time commitment hopefully , hence don't rush for it. Take your own time.

And don't forget that while balancing the different thoughts, always do your Istikharah for muslims which I bet most of my readers are. Ask Him to narrow down the choices and make you heart prone to only one , that you don't have to make choices on your own. 

After all whatever concerns you heart, back to the one who holds the heart, who turns the heart and the one who gave you the feelings to love and to be loved.

Here's to the beautiful roses my mom plant in our backyard :) 

 Love, ex-Dr Love (HA-HA) the'ann