something to savour from

so its been a while ( same boring introduction haha ) since I last write something inside here, but to be honest it wasn't really a while because I posted something on the 25th of October, but then I decided to revert it back into the draft because I thought it reveals some emotions , unnecessary emotions which I vow to keep it to myself.  

For the past few weeks, my thoughts have always been the same, its either I am too drown in the law and current issues, or one reading leads me to another - which I have just cleared 67 tabs from my Safari website. 

Madness, that's after I contemplate on which one to clear or which one to keep. Haha partly because I couldn't figure how to bookmark the pages ( Yeah go ahead and lol at me people ) . I mean someone has time to read all other sorts of things in life, all kind of treaties and conventions but not on how to bookmark the pages. 

Last first November, I had a pretty hectic day. I promised a friend to help her out, basically to share with her about CLP - and I am just so glad that I decided to juggle everything in one day, as I had an interview in a law firm at 4 o'clock. 

I did massive of readings particularly concerning the law and I can't even say I am under prepared because I am not sure on how much should I prepare lol . I went from one legal publication to another and its' endless. Though I may answer all the questions put forward, I can pretty much say that I doomed it because I stuttered a lot. Moreover when they counter attack my answer, suddenly I am shaky hahah #szoexpectedhuh . So here I am waiting for their answer, parts of me felt that they would've rejected me , but since they haven't come out with the verdict, little part of me hoping for a miracle. 

Needless, I felt the honour of being invited over the interviews. The fact that I am being considered for an interview is really a privilege because I got to experience the process. 

Maybe its true that I have confidence issue going on, because I somehow felt I am not doing good as compared to others. Now lets just hope Allah will keep me in this 'sangka baik' loops , to be able to see rejections as Allah channelling my pathway - or maybe to see offers as the best place for me to grow. Like after all, it may be weird if you had this dream like wahyu turun or something to tell you on the directions you should take in the future. I might not be able to handle that I guess haha. 

The same day, I was given the opportunity to help two anonymous. And yeah I got something in return as well, apart from self satisfaction, I saw myself redeeming free Starbuck drink ! #shallIsayIamStarbuckVirgin haha 

I can't really remember if I ever order fancy drinks from Starbucks in the UK, but I am certain that its not a store that I'll step my foot at in Malaysia , due to the ridiculous price for a ridiculously cheapskate person ( read ; me haha ) . Maybe my love for coffee does not go up that eternal extend, hence coffee places is not a place for me. I went to coffee places to find myself ordering Hot Chocolate each time #dang . 

Fun fact ; I don't do caffeine for staying up wise because I don't think it ever works. Tried once or maybe twice, I slept soundly and peaceful. My body decaffeinated ? 

This morning, I was doing few readings to prepare myself for an upcoming interview this 19th and I saw myself craved for sweet things particularly chocolate #rareoccasion and I saw this one chocolate, well there's three still inside the fridge - I got it back in January , when a friend of mine came and brought it all the way from the UK. Well , if I am talking about this three/four months back, I may still be so bitter about it. Like how harmful it was for me to deal with my toxicated feelings in the midst of revision for CLP , but now it feels , almost nothing. 

I can say I have healed completely and I learned a lot from the person and the phase as well. Everything will to come to an end isn't it, just like how the chocolate went expired ( AND I ATE IT BECAUSE I NEED THE SUGAR TO THINK ! ) but still savour the sweetness of the chocolate and the crunchiness of the hazelnut. 

something to savour from the memory ey ? 

lol you used to be a contemplation in my decision dear chocolate LOLS

me fancying my Starbucks moment haha 

I am just so boring as a human now , I need to travel around T.T see places and people. but what to do, I have to be more caution with my savings now. Considering I am not earning at the moment. Don't they provide job seeking allowance or something HAHA maybe I need a sugar daddy, or more like, I need sugar, daddy ahahah #thatsmorelikeit

Love, the'ann