Kerana kekuatan itu satu pinjaman.

Am I able to go this through? 

Do you loose your trust in the moon when the sun rises?
Do you stop believing in the sun when the clouds shadowing it? 
The answer is , NO.
Same goes to life , like day changing to night , our life is cycling everyday. No matter how much you whine saying that you can't afford more wrinkles on your faces - you're still growing up everyday. When you have a good life, out of sudden , He test you , like the clouds shadowing the bright sun , still you do believe one time clouds would move, maybe to other region and perhaps to other people's life. Still , with all that , you know you'll able to go things through. 

I always questioned myself , melalui setiap fasa , dari PMR ke SPM , ke interview Mara/JPA dulu. Melewati satu demi satu semester in intec - tons of steps towards university applications ( the exams and test , from the personal statement and everything ) - trials A-levels. Each time , feeling so anxious and messed my head with : Will I be able to go this through? Not just able untuk tempuh , tapi menempuh dengan cemerlang. 

Overtimes I cried - not realizing the capability of going through. And the peak is probably now - Alevels finals. 

Tapi kadang tu kita tak sedar , when the time comes , with prayers and hope. Allah do ease us through. Meski susah , meski payah. And He really did. Kadang tu dia mudahkan dengan pintasan idea dalam kepala time tengah ketuk ketuk pen sambil mata cuba membaca apa yang ada dalam kepala ( its like looking up infront sambil mulut terkumat kamit dan tetiba tersenyum kerana sel otak sudah berhubung ) . Thanks to Him. Kadang tu dia mudahkan motor skill tangan menulis dengan kelajuan 8.9 milimeter per saat semasa menjawab paper ekonomi . Kadang tu dia mudahkan dengan rasa redha tahap pasghah dan menyerah sebab paper susah . I usually don't lie ; bila paper tu susah , aku takkan pernah cakap okaylah. Aku akan cakap susah. And at the end , biasa kalau susah tu selalu jugak la dia akan meet the expectation ( read lower expectation - jarang ada kes paper susah tetiba going beyond what I expected ) 

And segala macam kemudahan yang diberi ni is a kind of strength that He gave / lend me at those peak moment. 

Tu belum kira saat nak debate dulu , saat memimpin Villa Puteri , saat hadap kehilangan orang , dan mungkin juga saat berperang dengan perasaan sendiri. Finally standing here , believing that all courses I've been going through all these years , He's always there helping me to sort the things out. 

And with tons of hopes , I hope once again , He lend me a little of His strength. To help me and my fellow team mates to go through this phase of life. Sometimes I just thought that me talking about Alevels sounds like going to a big big war. 

Tapi ada masa, sebab kekuatan itu satu pinjaman , dia tarik pinjaman dia untuk kita repent on things , tazkirah diri sendiri , tentang apa yang kita lalukan selama ni , dan juga untuk dia pinjamkan lagi kekuatan yang berganda apabila bila kita encounter masalah yang sama , kita akan jadi lagi bersedia. Its always said and believed , experience is the best teacher of all? Kan? 

Overtimes, its okay to break , figuratively into pieces , to fall down to the deepest sorrow . Because after all, we're all human. 

Untuk manusia lain saentaro dunia , mungkin kekuatan yang kita perlukan ialah dari pelbagai cabang. Ada yang perlu kekuatan untuk terus hidup , menyara keluarga , membesarkan anak anak dengan sempurna. Ada yang perlu kekuatan untuk berubah ke arah kebaikan. In any path you're standing , moga dimudahkan setiap urusan. Have faith. 

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