Every time nampak perkataan Seeds of Deeds tu , akan teringat ayat Surah Ibrahim ayat 24 :)
Have you not considered how Allah presents an example, [making] a good word like a good tree, whose root is firmly fixed and its branches [high] in the sky?
Its like a booster for me to do , or to give as much as I can , or to speak good words.
I just got back from Kelantan yesterday and even though I'm not the one who drive the bus , it was exhausting , to the point that I'm considering flights in the future. When I woke up in the middle of the night in the bus , I was thinking about whether a flying white object will appear before my eyes HA HA HA too much of IIUM scary confessions you're not going to expect one najwa nevaaaah.
* by the time I'm posting this , I am back for like five days , hahahhahaha.
Appreciation post to Ainaa Mazelin : Thanks for bringing me around , I miss Kelantan a lot :( Can't thanked you enough sebab drive jejauh bawak I jenjalan :')
So just like Kalsom , I applied for the camp dengan tiada harapan diletakkan. If its meant to be , then it will be , like I'll be there and once again Allah gave me the opportunity to give back to the society. Its not that I'm good in English neither facilitating since these are very new to me , but I just wanted to share. Share what is like having an opportunity to explore something , having an opportunity to love what you're doing , and perhaps offering anything that may change my own life / their life.
Teringat booster nak share walaupun sedikit , is forever the story of the first Khulafa' Ar Rasyidin - Abu Bakar As- Siddiq , during the early phase of Islam. Kalau diikutkan waktu tu baru turun dua tiga ayat , but the burning passion he had in him to spread apa yang dia dapat untuk spread wisdom to people , tak tunggu sampai Quran nak complete baru nak sampaikan dakwah. sesuai dengan Prophet Muhammad saw said ' Sampaikanlah dariku walau hanya satu ayat ' ( H.R Bukhari )
I see Kelantan chapter of Seeds of Deeds campaign is a platform for me to do things I missed during Kalsom. Like to bond with the kids more , to offer more than what I could offer earlier , to correct anything I've done wrong earlier. Kalsom was really a good start for me , it had indirectly boost my confidence level to mingle more with the facis and the kids. I've told you earlier how bad I am in terms of socializing with people. The battle between the introverted and extroverted side of me is forever Dota 2 ( its ongoing ) ( its a battle ) ( excuse me I need a hisptur jargon ) ( acahhhh ) haha.
I promised that I'll put more efforts on the gifts for the kids ( because I only managed to get a pocket file , handkerchief and snacks for the kids in Kalsom which I can do better than that T.T ) , hence the reason why I did the button for the kids .
Like other camps , aku banyak kali bagitahu diri sendiri supaya selalu berlapang dada , with anything. Like what type of kids I'll get , so it'll be easier for me to suspend any kind of judgement I'll have. Because I know if I'm expecting something specific , I'll be the one who ended being hurt. It was not easy because at some points , I was expecting things to happen in some ways I wish it to be but it doesn't turn out that wayand I'm allowing myself to learn anything yang Allah nak offer. . I actually took quite some time writing the feelings inside my phone , that's the fastest way I could calm myself at the moment.
( after taking some time off from writing ha ha ha ) ( this post took me four days ) ( just what happened to your writing mood Anis Najwa )
Everyday since SOD ends , one of my kids , without fail , sending his diary every night for me to check. Originally , ianya sekadar satu offer pada diaorang that they can keep sending their diaries. But this boy , aku envied gila dengan usaha dia hari hari buat diary hantar through whatssap. And some of it makes me goes awwwwwwww haha.
During the camp , we asked them to write diaries every day , what they learn , so there's always a session for them to reflect back what they've been doing for the day. Some of the kids are really poor with their English , so indirectly writing diaries ni macam training for formal writing and to increase the usage of English in their life . And we the facis will read their diaries and give comments ( I can say ' uplifting comments' ) . We start simple , just three sentences at the beginning. Sebab the key here is for them to TRY. Towards the end , for some of the kids , aku panggil untuk sama sama betulkan grammar and sentence structure. Daku sebagai faci jugak kenkadang merujuk Google on the sentence structure and grammar ( forevaaaa failure ) , which indirectly it helped me as well with my English. And as I expected , most of the sentences got better and they are writing more than at least five sentences ! Anak anak , you guys grew up a lot yknow that !
To me , that's one of the way for me to see their progress , and to see dalam banyak banyak benda apa yang paling terkesan dekat diaorang. Because the sessions are packed , we might have less time to reflect on their understanding by chatting , and some of the kids were really quiet , but they write like plenty of reflections. And aku sangat menghormati ekspresi berbentuk tulisan , because sometimes it speaks louder than the uttered words do. And I'm forever grateful that I took that initiative because I can know the kids more.
Going to camps like this , what I always want for the beneficiaries is for them to have that one mindset yang ' Success belongs to anyone , tak tertakluk pada bilangan A ' semata-mata. Its not to undermine their burning passion to dream high , or fly over the sea to be successful. Because for me myself , aku pernah hidup dalam satu situasi where I say things like ' Hahh dia bolehlah , pandai dari kecik so everything is possible ' or things like ' Dia bolehlah , hidup luxury , surrounding membantu ' , aku nak semua orang rasa yang lets just say impian dia nak jadi pembuat karipap , dia akan jadi pembuat karipap yang perhaps import the currypuff sampai ke Toronto , cehhhh kenapa kau Toronto tetiba ni haha . Kalau kata nak jadi mechanic , mechanic yang have a good grasp on biology for example. Its not about settling for less , but settling your life dengan bergaya. Cehhhhhh >.< . Because for me , flying across the sea , akan forever jadi satu rezeki > usaha yang aku bagi. And it was the chance given to me , to them , their chances might differ and whatever the chances are , they can be successful if they use that chance wisely. Which I know they will.
The kids I met for that five days are people who really believe in themselves. That they can do it. The last day we're there , there's this kid named Hannan. She was very quiet during the camp , even if we asked her to speak up , suara dia seperti ditenggelamkan angin sepoi sepoi bahasa . And most of the time , we will call her name because that's the only way to ask her to participate. But the last day , while I was chilling with the kids , she came to me , saying sorry that she don't do much for the past few days. I always remember that her ambition was to be a lecturer , precisely in Arabic language. And it happened that she's been revising Arabic for the past few days because there's an upcoming exam. ( ni bukan alasan dia btw , I'm just stating it here , because I know how suffocating revising Arabic can be , BECAUSE I'VE BEEN THERE AND I survived with a B+ in SPM hahahha ) . She told me that disebabkan dia sekolah agama dan Arabic is the focus , no one like no one pernah nak highlight kepentingan English like what is this alien language gurl so she literally takde confidence to use English at all . So before anything , I asked her to introduce herself in Arabic which she speaks FLUENTLY I TELL YOU I'M AMUSED !
I remembered that ustaz in Selandar once told me , that if you can understand and have a good grasp in Arabic , you can easily understand English and vice verse. Because both languages have a very complex tenses , even verbs. And I told her that , and she was literally surprised like akak ni gurau apa pagi ni. I might not help you that much after the camp , but I hope apa yang ustaz akak cakap tu sedikit sebanyak boost keyakinan awak untuk maju kehadapan bersama Bahasa Inggeris cewahs haha. Btw , syukran ya Ustaz sampai sekarang ayat ustaz melekat dalam kepala saya hahahah , sebab dulu saya sejenis mahkluk vice verse , understand English but having troubles with Arabic , but scoring B+ is like a forever dream for me haha , I got C k for PMR .
In Kelantan , I figured out yang most of the students are used to hardships that they don't even perceive it as hardship anymore. Like apalah sangat. For example , Tanah Merah and Kuala Kerai were one of the places yang badly affected jika bah ( I remembered that joke of Bah-rain , what country yang banjir dulu baru hujan lels =.=' ) melanda. And one of the kids in my dorm cerita yang dia pernah duduk lebih dua minggu dekat pusat pemindahan and she uttered those words with ease like lek aaaa banjir je pun. Bagi dia benda tu takde apa pun , when on the other hand you might think about having some personal space , your home , and mungkin boleh kelemasan dalam lautan manusia yang ramai. But to the kids yang affected with it , its nothing kak , banjir je lols . Mungkin aku je yang selalu sangat senang , kesusahan itu dirasakan susah yang amat. Its not just that , masa Jo-heart-Ry Kalsom ( where the kids and us will share our problems ) , they just don't share much . I know one of my kids struggling so hard financially , but she acted like nothing happen , and to her , its just a part and parcel of her life. I don't even hear to stories like they're having any problems with their teachers , they're indeed students with great manner. And aku sendiri ada difficulty nak share problem aku sebab aku rasa yang my problem is like practically NO-ING GURLLL to their eyes T.T
I can say my mingling skill got better here in Kelantan. Maybe its because I already knew some of them , and for some reasons , dia rasa lagi selesa for me to fit in. But perhaps most of the time , aku menerima yang aku memang seorang yang pendiam luls dan lebih senang memerhati.
Thank you , for making the camp , one of the best part and parcel of my life. I certainly can't repay your kindness , your warmness dikala hujan hampir setiap hari di camp. Standing in front of me are people who're really passionate about giving whatever you can . I'm forever inspired and energised by your positive vibes , your energetic moves , the passions you guys had in each and everyone of you. Little that I know , I'm exposed to many beautiful souls , which I'm looking forward to meet again in the future insyaAllah. Till then , take care :)
Special mention to my module partner , Wan Syazuli , thanks for helping to ease the module for me :)
To Amirul Farid and Aiman Syakir , my group partners , thanks for everything I can never mention here. You guys rawwwks ! maaf tak tengok all the Tyra so I can't really respond to your play haha .
Thank you , without knowing you guys inspired me more than I do. For believing in yourself that you can make the changes , willingly absorbing knowledge and advises , you guys grew up a lot for the past few days . I hope that shall continue in the future. I'm glad that our path crossed. Haikal , Farhan , Fahmi , Amirul , Fakrul , Hakim , Wani , Elienda , Aina , Faten , Hannan , Syafiqa , Ida , and Yuni , thank you :)