Beautifully written fate of the SCUK'17 and Mukhtar'17 :)

Indeed a refreshing week retreat.

O you who have believed, shall I guide you to a transaction that will save you from a painful punishment?

[It is that] you believe in Allah and His Messenger and strive in the cause of Allah with your wealth and your lives. That is best for you, if you should know.

He will forgive for you your sins and admit you to gardens beneath which rivers flow and pleasant dwellings in gardens of perpetual residence. That is the great attainment.

As Saff (61:10-12)

InsyaAllah , may what we did , will be traded with something rewarding ameeen.

The SCUK theme 'The Golden Trade'

I believe that everyone had their take home messages with them and I believe what's mine for now is the urge of leaving jahiliyyah ( things that you enjoyed yet you know its not beneficial for you T.T ) behind and to replace them with something beneficial . I took so much time sitting in a comfort zone mixing both jahiliyah and what's haq ( the truth ) with excuses that ' Allah sees my efforts ' when actually its a mere excuses for myself , because I show no effort and felt that doing jahiliyyah in moderation wouldn't matter. 

when it does. 

When there's this one slot , talking about jahiliyyah and Al-Quran.

The participants standing in front each other and they need to recite Al-Quran , supplied by the light from the candle. Just like how other muhasabah are done but this time around, there's a significant difference , there's Al-Quran that need to be recited. Each time a jahiliyyah was mentioned , and if the mentioned jahiliyyah is a part of them, they need to take a step behind and if and only I am the participant , I am perhaps, one of the people that will take many steps behind and be in denial because I am ashamed with the others. 

and the more steps they took , its harder for them to recite the Quran. 

Its a simulation that is much clearer than the real life practice. Because in real life , we hardly see how actually jahiliyyah is making us very far from the truth. We created all the blurry lines , invented a grey line between what is right and what is wrong and felt totally okay living in that grey area. 

I know I need to put a halt to this , time is running out , I never know when death is coming.

I don't want to be among those who regret upon their life time , 

But I know it myself that it is very hard , really. Its like detaching something so close to your heart, its like changing your habits. But the longer I delay when knowing its not okay to delay is so disturbing. 

And doing this alone is really hard. I am in need of a support. 

And Mukhayyam ( Mukhtar 17 ) is just a perfect fit to fill in the spaces inside the weak heart of mine. 

'Ukhwah' 

Each time I am looking at them, especially those who're really close to me ever since preparation years, that struggles A LOT , and I signify the changes , I know they struggles too but they are vividly trying to make themselves better. 

The lowest level of friendship that if you satisfy this , things will start to fall into places ,which 

 ' is to have good thoughts ( bersangka baik ) about your friend ' .

It may sounds easy but never easy to be done , but there's a need to train yourself to have good thoughts about your friends. 

it starts with 'bersangka baik' , and the highest level of it is you are putting them first , first before you. 

And its very comforting to know the reason why we were there , is because we shared the same aim , and its very sad to face the reality that it ended already. 

I initially thought that Mukhayyam would be a torturing experience, because the meaning of Mukhayyam alone is 'perkhemahan' and it sounds so activity-based which I am clearly not so into it. But all the thoughts being washed away by a very heart-warming theme of 'friendship' 

I enjoyed every bits of it, and can't never thank Allah enough for the opportunity to be there. 

I see myself 'growing up' in this journey. 

Someone who is really petty when it comes to spending money but don't mind spending almost £100 to be there - and indirectly omitting Spring holiday ( I need to focus on my exams too anyway ) , travelled at least 5 hours from Cardiff to reach Sheffield . Someone who finds it very hard to share spaces with people but through out these 3 years, felt at ease to do so. 

I met people with chains of good traits. 

I remembered the day we had an ad hock meeting to revise back the tentative for SCUK, and there's a need to omit some parts of it in order to deliver the objectives set. And I was worried and concerned  that the people in charge of the activity will feel bad if we had to change the tentative, but it brings me to tears when my mas'ullah ( the director ) told me that they voluntarily scrap off their activity from the list to make way for the relevant change to take place, when I know they put so much effort in preparing for the activity. 

knowing that it's not easy to do so. I am touched. 

At that time , I looked up to the sky , 

'Allah, sungguh orang orang ini sedang sangat memudahkan urusan orang lain'

dan mudahkanlah untuk mereka setiap urusan mereka.

Jazakunallah hu khayran katheera to each and everyone of you, from the participants for SCUK, for all the JK's , my SCUK families , the kakak kakak behind Mukhayyam , my soul sisters till jannah. 

Appreciation post 

To Kak Syawal and Kak Aishah , in case you're reading this through

Jzkk khayr to both of you. I learnt a lot, though I am very slow at it, because I was too overwhelmed by my own 'awkwardness phase' dealing with both of you. Knowing I don't do much , you both tolerated me so well and I am so grateful to be in this team and for trusting me to be in this position, may Allah reward both of you immensely 

Meet my roomates for Mukhayyam - Bilik 1 , fun fact - Dari kiri - Kak Farihah ( Mas'ullah SCUK 2016 ), Anis Najwa mihihi ( Vice Mas'ullah SCUK 17 ) and Kak Syawal ( Mas'ullah SCUK  17 )

To My SCUK families , the JK's and facilitators 

I am humbled by everyone's effort for making SCUK a great success for me and I believe for many. Success is not measured just by ticking off the planned things , but to leave a deep mark inside the heart and insyaAllah will be a spark for everyone else to be a better person. I signify your efforts and struggles and may we be the witnesses to each other's effort in akhirah later 

Not all of the JKs but almost all of them :) 

To the participants of SCUK 2017 , 

Spring Camp used to be the place that makes me see a different dimension to Al-Quran , I got the same input when I was in my first year, Muqaddimah Fi Zillal by Syed Quttub , and hearing to the same thing for the second time reminds me of that good feeling I missed. And as it sparks something inside me , I hope you will feel the same. We all struggles insyaAllah , despite at what stage we are at. And its never too late to start now. 

I am touched when one of the participant who initially gave up a precious item which I was told that it was costly ( and it was a part of her jahiliyyah ) for the purpose of the 'golden trade' , at the end of the program when we wanted to give them back the item , she said 'I don't want this anymore' 

May Allah give all of us the strength to keep going and remain steadfast in the journey of acquiring redha Allah. 

Always note to yourself that there must be a reason why Allah puts you there and always believe that there is something Allah wants you to learn from it insyaAllah :) 

And may Allah see all of our efforts as the 'golden trade' and insyaAllah yakinlah dengan Allah yang pulangannya jauh lebih baik dari sekotak M&M :) 

To My Soul Sisters to Jannah ( Kakak Kakak yang berusaha untuk Mukhayyam & fellow sisters )

My WSW families :) 

My groupmates :) The Shadows 

I remembered those days I attended daurah and met so many unfamiliar faces, that later I realized these people are the people I wanted to be with the paradise. You never knew how each and everyone of you had taught and changed me , on the outside and most importantly in the inside. I adore every conversations established with my fellow akhawats -because they speaks good words, and heart warming , even if they are trying to correct you , they do it with love and hikmah , and you felt totally okay ( tak terasa or anything ) , because you know they are doing that not to bring you down but to make you a better you. 

Jzkk khayr semua :') 

Moga nanti kita gather dekat syurga, sorang satu bawak KFC original , and spicy plus the cheesy wedges, the coleslaw and mashed potatoes and kenalkan dekat Umar Al Khattab ( dengan harapan orang lain kenalkan benda lain pulak )