Investing in your potential...

Considering how frequent I blogged for the past two months, it kinda slows a bit now since I am so occupied with class and the workloads in the office is no joke as well. 

Sometimes when there's just massive of things running inside my head where I've been constantly drafting my thoughts into words,  it will always happen when I'm commuting or walking - having no access to whatever thing that links me to the blog . 

By the time I reached home I am just so tired and all I wanted to do is sleep. But knowing that I wanted to sleep , it stresses me out because I know I had to do at least something but I am just so tired, so I guess sleeping would definitely be the best option on the list. 

I am not trying to justify how tiring classes and works are, but I guess it drains so much of my energy and I'm feeling lethargic. Moreover when the classes are back to back, five days in a row and say forever bye bye to my weekend. 

Earlier yesterday a junior of mine messaged me to ask for opinions concerning her future and her being her, is always flattering me with so many good prayers and compliments like on how I am able to work and study at the same time lol ( seriously after a trial of six going seven month, hats off to those who pass this phase beautifully ) .

Because I was once in her shoes, seeing my friends applying for position in big firms, with definitely a very good pay, somehow it tickles my heart. 

Because knowing my current earning - with the thoughts that I could have earn more, it somehow hurts me. Its not really about demanding but looking at the current market wage rate , while comparing myself with others who owns the same qualification, it definitely hurts. 

The thoughts that I settled for too low keep running inside my head. 

My dad raised the same concern, he said he knew how hard it must be for me, how I am living my life with all the savings I put aside. 

All the ugly truth behind the laughters and behind the struggles. 

But little that I know, I am happy. I am happy that I am learning. I am happy that I am doing something I know I love doing. I love the people I am working with. And of course I can be sad with what I am earning, lol its really low to be honest, you never want to know how low is that low ( take into account my qualifications and all ). 

I'll miss us someday :'(

meet my twinsies from another mother haha, Syamil. everytime he smiled I feel like poking his dimples because I don't own one haha psychotic najwa 

Of course there's a pros and cons to it, living life is really like having a partner, you might not be happy for some of the traits, but due to the happiness your partner gave in many other sense you kinda like able to tolerate the part you're not happy with. 

So I told my junior about my plan , that very soon I decided to stop working and to be someone who is fair , moreover towards myself and my studies. 

To give my studies the portion of time it deserves. I've been lacking in my studies, and taking into account I am tired when I got home, I guess its just a good time for me to perhaps give a break to myself.

And of course ( too many of course already la deeyyy Najwa * face palm* )  I am worried about how I am going to live in KL without having an income. I did foresee this event to occur in the past and had started my projection on making more savings, to cover my future rents ( at least ) and I can always save a bit for the food. 

But considering I have discussed the same with my parents before deciding to stop working - whether they're able to offer a helping hand, just for me to sustain living here, and they have no objections to it . I am thankful too that I still have my final year savings in pound. 

I am partially proud of myself though, I can be someone who's splurging money on random things but I know I am good with savings too. I saved my first year savings - spent the second year for the CLP fees, and now with the salary I am saving a bit for my CLP exam, a portion of it goes to my personal saving. 

I love to see how I put the listings in writing, like how much should I set aside next month and after deducting the whole necessities - rent - savings and whatnot, I am left with an amount to spend for foods. 

so far I am very good at following my projection , I guess haha

Well to see this from another perspective, I am so blessed to be able to live a good life. A very good life indeed. A little bit tight but good. And as I passes by the junctions near my school where I saw homeless people lying on the floor and sleep, I am always humbled with how Merciful He is to me for giving me a good shelter to live in. And hopefully a very good life ahead of the homeless people. 

And writing this brings me back to my Civil Procedure tutorial, where the lecturer said to enjoy the current life where you have no liability of the things you do and say ( hahah shall I say exceptional for those who're working ) , and when you later go into pupillage , its a time where people are investing in your potential , hence grow ! 

I really love that part of people investing in your potential , because they see something good in you hence they are investing in it, so later someday you'll be an asset to the company / or even to your family who's been investing in your potential too. 

People are paying you for you to learn as much as you can. Ugh that sounds fancy isn't it for that long-long 9 months of pupillage. 

And I must say regardless on how much money I am earning at the moment, I definitely know I am investing in my own potential, by trying to juggle working and studying, to see how far I can go - to test the capabilities I never know I could possess - and hopefully someday in the future people will be willing to invest in my potential.

Do whatever things you think that might be worth for your potential !

Invest your time, invest your effort in it, invest your love too if its possible !

Be passionate about whatever things you choose to do ! ( empowered tetiba haha ) 

Nevertheless I never thought I can write such long rants over this, because I initially thought I am drawn towards making an appreciation post for my colleague in the office, who happened to be one of the very important part and parcels of my life. 

But it turns out differently, but nevermind, this is one of the things that keeps running inside my head too. Hopefully that my legs are able to run so fast in the real world too hahahhahahahhahah ! ( I've been neglecting my swimming guys help ) 

on a side note its March already ! 

My March started meaningfully as a stranger treated me breakfast - and now that we had an unofficial announcement on the exam date - now that I can plan ahead me. 

I had in mind to pay UK a visit ( lol literally I am paying * money to visit my second home mih mih ) but we shall see , as I had arrangements for some other things too ( which meant to be private and confidential at the moment ) ( nope nope I am not getting married nope its not a part of any of my near future plans )

And March had been so hectic so far ( its only the fifth going sixth day of March ) as I guess I've been replying to different people messages, random messages out of nowhere and people inquiries too. I even had some not-yet-replied, pray that I'll find courage to revisit the unanswered inquiries lol. 

nevertheless life is demanding so yeah you got to live with it. 

p/s I guess I am fully recovered from unnecessary heartbreaks, obviously less checking this days, and I know its not meant to be. Well it took quite some time isn't it? 

haha good for you Anis. 

p/s ii haha my room-mate just offered me a piece of curry puff ( I know like ermmmm no big deal isn't it hahaha what's with the fuss ) which I am just so happy haha - because I saw her frying them in the kitchen and I was like how lovely the taste must be and yeaaaaay she offered me huwaaa cries a river la like this. Lol over a curry puff I am such a drama queen. 

there's p/s iii too ! haha I am currently so in love with my new toothbrush and the toothpaste because its been so good to my gum since I always have gum problem lol this thing also makes me happy lol 

Love, the'ann