of life lessons over the weekend

I just got back from a very packed and meaningful weekend. I went for a pre-departure program, and finally visited SBPI Selandar , after leaving the school for almost seven years. I went there quite a few times before but I don't get the chance to meet the teachers ( except for a Hari Guru visit in 2012 ) 

Journey of a Muslim 2018 #JOM2018 

My Incredible(s) ft Alia Hazwa. Bright people indeed. Always early in whatever occasion. Very energetic and positive ( at ALL TIMES haha you guys will definitely be among the successful people out there ameeen. From the left, Hazierah Housna, Sabrina, blue me , Wawa, Masyitah , Syuhada :)

credit to photographer for this one :) 

I have no regret signing up for this ! Definitely one of the best in weekend in 2018

Spot me :D #JOM2018 #dreamexplorediscover - credit to the photographer 

I wrote my reflection on the camp on Instagram ( this is me indirectly saying , read there HA-HA , I've changed my username anyway, its anisnnazari now :) ) . I was really content for the whole three days and its been really a while since I felt that way. Everytime we sang the theme song, Pemula Langkah , I asked myself whether I utilised my time well there, while others anticipate what lies ahead of them , I reflected upon my past being overseas. 

The past few months had tested me hard, I mean it may not be as hard as other out there, but my emotions was draining terribly. Due to how demanding CLP was, I think I loss control over my emotions where some random days I found myself crying out of the blue. I loss myself , more like loosing the Anis Najwa back in my undergraduate days. 

From a laid back kind of life, to a very hectic one. I hardly found myself giving back to the society , like there's no longer much ample time to do so. My weekdays and weekends are fully occupied , by the time everything for the week ended, I am (forced) to prepare and ready for the next week. 

When the opportunity came before me, it didn't take long before I said yes. Yea, I've been filling my post exam days as early as during revision days. I wanted to see myself back in the track. Hence I see JOM as one of the best platform to heal myself. 

Because I hold dearly to the principle I believed in, for a good place/camp , the people who's coming to the camp is also the people who seek for good. Hence for all these good vibes, I take the position as a facilitator. 

And JOM also, personally a place that gave me the insights on what to expect being overseas. But for it, I wouldn't see myself mingling with people ( Malaysians particularly ) , or getting involved in these voluntarism , meeting great people from different backgrounds and above all, I found my purpose of living as a proud Muslim . 

As it benefited me in many ways I never expect, I wanted others to experience the same. I wanted to share the good feeling I experienced back then , at the very least I know it will help to ease other people's journey. You can read up my reflection on my JOM experience here :)) 

I surely learned a lot for that three days despite being alone ( I mean I am not with my batch mates ) . I was anxious , nevertheless I am there already. I don't want to against my word as I am the one who volunteered myself and I don't have anything that hold me from going. 

Seeing new faces means there are people who continued the legacy of spreading kindness and welfare to people. Wasn't it nice to think it that way? I saw many selfless people , who spent their weekend away from home despite summer is ending , and it was really an uplifting surrounding to be in after a long academic year. 

Before the camp, I did something I've been contemplating about for many months, I was emotionally unstable when I did the act but I know the more I contemplate, the more indecisive I be and the more delay to that one (must do) decision. 

Nevertheless, I don't regret it , sooner or later I will do the same exact thing. And coming to the camp after I had figuratively jumped off the cliff , I knew it was the right timing. I had less time with the social medias, and my heart was content with the surrounding. All praises to Him for the blessed journey of mine. 

I made my way back to Melaka with my groupmate , she's driving back to Johor. She saved me from taking that very long route to reach the bus station. Through the whole journey , we shared a lot of things. We had a chat about our families, her father is a revert ( which is so admirable ) and how she got the Bank Negara scholarship . The conversation did gave me ideas on what to share with the junior back in Selandar. 

SBPI Selandar visit 

Its been my forever wish list ! I've been wanting to go to school since forever but the time was never on my side, adding to the fact that I loathe driving and Selandar is in that deepest forest (miahahaha). I've been wanting to visit the teachers and to offer some treats. 

Initially I decided to order quite a number of Nasi Lemak and karipap for the teachers, but my aunt was unable to do the nasi lemak. Hence I thought its good to cakes and curry puff. But somehow something doesn't feels complete, so my mother suggested to fry some noodles. 

Once I got back home from the camp, I went out with my sister and best friend who came all the way from Bandar Metropolitan Yong Peng (miahahhaha) to buy the cake and the ingredients. I was really drained out from a very long day, but I saw myself doing the laundry and preparing the ingredients. 

It took half an hour to reach Selandar from my place and there's just rush of memories flooding in when we make our way to the canteen to park the car. 

I had a long chat with my English teacher, she took law and she was among the people who inspired me to be in this legal profession route. I never knew that my SPM essay touched her , yeah it was a very emotional kind of essay haha that she said 'You make me cry with your essay and no one after that ever writes it the way you do' . 

She suggested few things that I can do before the result, which includes seeing myself in the Sessions court to observe the proceeding. All the jargon of discussion revolved around law and law alone haha. I met other teachers, and had the opportunity to speak to the juniors about some tips to survive life HA-HA , but I guess the most meaningful one should be , enjoy the school life, and the people you see now are worth keeping, worth being stuck with for your whole life. 

Little that I know people were a bit fascinated to see me at the school that many asked why. 

I am there solely because I wanted to meet people who's involved directly in making and shaping who I am now. 

I spent five years away from my parents , to meet many many supporting kind souls in bringing me up as a person. Many of the values I possessed in life , are being highly influenced by the teachers, the school staff from the makcik kantin to pakcik makcik guard. Hence my short visit and the little treats are not comparable with what they have done. And for all the good things I've been blessed with in life, Allah is the only one that can repay their good deeds. 

Tempat jatuh lagi dikenang, inikan pula tempat bermain, tempat serius dengan kehidupan eh eh HA-HA 

I dont really remember during my time whether there's already all these tiles , but I don't think so. I forgot to take pictures with the teachers because I'm busy talking haha 

Be a child, when you're still a child

A friend of mine, Aqmal just lost his father last two days, , who fought against cancer  and I would to share with you how good he is as a son, and how blessed his father to have him as a son. 

He is someone I can call my best friend, I don't really have many good guy friend but he's an exception to the category, its not like we're always talking after highschool ended , not that we always stand on the same page because we often disagree on matters, he is someone I bickered a lot with , but he's someone whom I always spent my highschool with whenever I am out for debate. And the amount of the time spent over the debate competitions throughout that five years are very significant hence I did spend a portion of my time with him in Selandar. 

I remembered this one day in 2011, I brought food from home as the class is organising a pot luck. I guess there's abundance of food that the food that I brought was barely touched. Feeling disappointed , knowing my mom cooked it for the class , I brought the food to bring it to the hostel hoping someone will help to finish it, and I saw him at the staircase and without even thinking,  I offered him the food. He stopped and eat it straight ahead, you know how satisfying it feels like to see someone finish your food , mind that I was feeling really low at the moment. 

Despite the amount of disagreement we had between us, its debate though, so its kinda expected isn't it - back in 2013 when I was in my traumatised state, he and his father was among the people who visited me at home to see how I am doing , I was terribly traumatised and by him and his father visiting , it somehow soothe the heart. 

It was actually very recent that I knew his father fall sick, that one of the things that I wanted to do when I stopped working is to pay his father a visit.  And I am forever grateful that I did. I spent a good hour talking to his father, his father was indeed a very strong person. Though bedridden , he sounded really healthy . That if you listen to his voice instead of looking at his condition , you would have thought that his father is doing well. 

My friend was in the Australia to complete his studies, yet he deferred his study to attend to his fathers' and family's need. He told us that it was really hard for him to focus on his studies knowing the circumstances in Malaysia is not good. I know exactly how uneasy the heart felt being away from home being , but I am not really tested with it. 

But he's different, he's really in the tested shoes. 

It was 5.00 am in the morning when he informed me that his father passed away in his sleep. I left my phone in the room at the campsite for subuh and morning tazkirah. I was really taken aback I read his message, wishing I read it earlier and I'm in Melaka at the moment to pay the family a visit. 

We visited his family yesterday , and his mom told us about how good is him to his father, I know he's the one who's been driving his father around, always at home to attend to his father's need and even without his mother telling us, you really know that he's a very good son. The amount of sacrifices, though many would say its expected from the first son , he's just admirable. 

I was really thinking whether I should be writing this down, but I wanted people to learn and reflect from him. To be a son, while you're still a son . And he had, for certain gave his best shots as a son to his father. 

For all the good he has done to his family , to his father especially , I hope that anyone who's reading this through, would offer him prayers and Allah will reward him immensely. He may not show it on the outside on how he felt , but I hope Allah will ease and elevate his hardships. For every decision he's taking , may Allah give barakah to his steps in life. 

For his father, whom I see as my own , for the good he has done to me and certainly to many , may Allah place him at the highest level of paradise. For his mother and his brothers, please send prayers for them too , for them to be at ease. 

from Him we come, to Him we return. Al Fatihah. 

This is indeed one of the long post, hopefully you'll learn something from this. Till we meet again the next time, I am going to be in Intec this Thursday as a facilitator for a Road to UK program yayers ! 

Love, the'ann