Life is a transaction.

Daku sedang mengelak untuk tidur lepas subuh so I better jot this thing down. 

I'm currently drafting on my module for my upcoming volunteering project , well I've been like ( slightly ) active this year , been developing interest towards volunteering project , because I hate it whenever I'm thinking about I need to do some changes but things end up dengan frasa seperti ' I'm no one and apa lah sangat kesan a very small unheard voice unseen action ' . 

I remember how a short powerful phrase kept bugging inside my head uttered by a brother 

' We may not change their life overnight , in fact very little that we do to make their life change , but to the very least , we changed our hearts '

Cukup deep , sebab hati sangat memerlukan latihan demi latihan for it to be able to be the sensitive heart that care. Sebab at the very end we may still choose to not do anything sebab benda macam ni takde pun kesan buruk kalau kita tak buat , and we know sometimes giving is not about changing others , its changing you to a better you. 

So the module I took seems like the 'avoided' one ( sebab dia antara module yang kosong lols orang tak ambik mengapa kalian tinggalkan daku dengan pilihan ini hahahah )  sebab I was quite late in choosing sebab I was like pausing for a little while , ingat nak ambik module yang sama as the other project but I was too late and the fact that aku rasa nak ubah angin and nak challenge kepala supaya berfikir lebih sikit , I decided to take a module berkisarkan the need of making sacrifices in order to achieve something. It also revolves around steps / suggestion to make wise decision. Disebabkan the target audience will be students , and we might as well need to expect yang some students might not get kalau kita letak idea besar gila depan diaorang dan rungkaikan. Its seems wrong to start with sebab aku rasa aku nak keep it simple , but at the same time you get all the logic. Sebab at the end of the day meskipun kau kata nak mengubah hati kau sendiri instead of hati orang lain , nak taknak kau mesti macam nak gak people get something from what you're trying to tell them. Kalaulah semua berfikiran seperti melepaskan batok di tangga , mengajar sekadar untuk melepaskan tapi bukan untuk memahamkan , that sounds pretty frustrating ey? 

I made a simple analogy of 

You want to buy an ice cream that cost you RM 2.00 

sumber google dengan *  key search  berbagai ais krim * hahaah 

( Hampir saja aku menyebut pound setiap kali berfikir hahahha we're back to ringgit Najwa ) 

In order to get the ice cream ( Its your current goal / cravings ) , you need to loose RM 2.00 . 

That sounds pretty straight forward analogy , whats with the fuss , its only RM 2.00 kot , sometimes you got even more pocket money boleh siap beli Magnum berperisa Vanilla , since last time dekat Selandar , siapa beli Magnum dia kaya. hahahhaha sebab orang boleh siap beli nasi lemak dengan ayam plus air sirap for RM 3+ I bet , tapi kau telah menggunakan RM 4.00 untuk sebatang kemanisan yang berpenghujung hahahha. Setakat ice cream cikai dua ringgit apa lah sangat. 

But sadly , life isn't that straight forward , not that technical either. 

What if , you're placed in a situation where you only have 20 cents in your pockets , so that's where you need to choose and sacrifice one of those choices , either you work to get that RM 2.00  or you gave up one your cravings. 

For some people , they might just opt to gave up on their cravings dengan momokan ice cream punca obesiti kerana kemanisan melampaui batas , jugak mempunyai sekarung gula yang memerlukan sembilan pusingan padang untuk dihilangkan , what if the one who badly want the ice cream is not you , but your dearest mother / father / sisters / your loved one. That's when it gets tougher sebab the decision you're going to make in your life , over times concerns others more than it concerns you , and sebab manusia ni complex gila , dia blend in all the emotions that may hold you back from giving up , but to push you forward , to work things out , by hook or by crook kena jugak beli that RM 2.00 ice cream because someone will be happy if you get them the ice cream. 

ada masa kau akan stuck in a position yang kau taknak pun benda tu tapi surrounding kau seems lively when you make such decision , you might found yourselves struggling with what steps shall you take in order to have RM 2.00 tu tadi. Some people are lucky enough , they have a simple way out , perhaps by asking someone else , sebab it looks like a very small amount pun. 

Tapi for some people out there , even a ten cent matters in their life , so angka kecil yang aku letak dekat sini is to encourage people not to underestimate little problems yang perhaps orang lain hadap dalam hidup diaorang. I want people to learn to appreciate yang every single person on the earth ada struggle masing masing and even struggle to picisan gila dekat mata kau , somebody boleh tak tidur malam fikir macam mana nak deal with your-so-called-small-problems. 

This is where I'm trying to invite the audience to find ways on how to get that ice cream , its can be either you work to earn , or even you yourself make an ice cream yourselves sebab its much easier plus lebih nilai diletak pada ais krim yang dibuat sendiri . 

( shall consider circumstances points macam - what if that RM 2.00 ice cream is a special edition of ice cream tebu bersalut keju eiu hahha ) ( atau mungkin semua orang memang berkejaran nak beli ice cream yang sama , takkan hengko tak teringin en? takkan nak hipster * stands out * sensorang tak beli ice cream yang sama , kita harus ikut trend miahahhaa )

sebab at some points , you might consider sebenarnya worth it ke tidak aku berusaha sesungguh untuk ice cream Malaysia dalam plastik jernih yang berharga RM 2.00 hanya kerana rasa ice cream milo nya rasa seperti air milo di van milo hahahahhaha sedap weh air van milo dia letak apa . Atau sebenarnya boleh diusahakan sendiri ice cream sebegitu rupa instead of kerja sapu lantai kedai kopi Pak Leman dan mendapat upah 20 sen sehari dan kerja selama sepuluh hari. Tapi jika ada species seperti Pak Leman yang hanya memberi upah menyapu kedai kopi sebesar satu gelanggang sepak takraw dengan upah hanya sebanyak 20 sen , mohon ditangkap pihak berkuasa miahahhahaa. 

At the end of the day , I might summarise yang life can be in a form of transaction. Transaction in real life tak berbunyi semudah mengeja - nya . Kadang nak beli susu anak berharga RM 24.50 ( ini tarikh birthday aku , hakikatnya aku tidak punya anak juga tidak mengetahui harga susu pasaran ) tampak mudah pada keluarga yang ada satu tanggungan dengan gaji melebihi RM 5000.00 , tapi dia tak mudah pada keluarga yang ada dua puluh atau lebih tanggungan dengan gaji yang sama. 

On surface dia nampak cam alahai , but beneath a transaction , there might be a blend of emotions in your decision to spend  , the logic , kadang kalau fikir kau dah tua kenapa nak minum susu - kira bukan keperluan kau pun susu tu , tapi dia keperluan dan kebahagian anak anak kau , takkanlah kau sampai hati tak belikan susu anak pulak kan?  

And I hope I might present the idea well so that there's something to be pondered upon by the students by the time they stop at kedai runcit nak beli ais krim kah kah kah. Ponderlah kau kat situ lama lama dik dek kerana idea akak ahahhaha. Hidup harus berfikir. hahaha. Marilah jadi golongan pemikir ( acah hahahhahahhaha )