I felt so pity with the blog. Something went wrong inside. So I tried and I need to cheered up myself. I need to. Okay, again assalamualaikum brothers sisters, May Allah stays beside u always and ever. Currently I am repeating Number One For Me Maher Zain, a just released song from him and, totally I am in love with it. Done with introduction.
for Ummi. Mom, Ibu, Mama, Mak. its for you :)
Allah, please take care of my sisters. My muslim sisters, Show us the right path, the Siratul Mustaqim. With all your blessings, I love my muslim sisters Ya Allah.
I read through articles in Tumblr and, sadly I found this, I guess the short note written by non-muslims, Ya ALLAH, - Shocked by Muslims.
Besides, me myself facing an emotional downturn. Being touched with simple things and it hurts. I knew I should not act that way, I shouldn't. I knew. But just let me spare some spaces, for me to talk. I become even more complicated nowadays. And I have no idea why. Yes, what was playing in mind is just, death. Questions like : When I die, would people realize this, would people realized that and I , no longer hurt anybody. I will no longer be a burden for anyone. Would people appreciate the time they had me arround . No, I am not loosing hope, no I didn't . But just, I just feel like, I need to talk.
If it happen , one day when you woke up, me no longer breathing, or even you get any phone calls or messages, saying that I've gone forever. Sorry for all my wrongdoings, thanks for cheering up my life, through out the years you know me as a friend, I have tried my very best to cheered you up, to make you feel appreciated through the friendship, and only that I could do as a friend.I love you because of Allah , and if ever we meet or far apart,its for Allah. For the families, I have tried to be the best kakak,I am sorry for all my wrongdoings and all the actions that beyond my conscious , I don't want to be the burden, being so fat is not I want. If ever I could ask, I would like to ask Allah that, I hate to be this way. I never asked to be like this. After all, I faced an extreme downturn when people keep giving negative voices, Ya Allah, I wanted to feel redha with what the path you've fated for me. But just , I am so helpless.
Everyday, I tried to make smiles on your faces.
I want to feel like, I'm appreciated. I really want to. I kept thinking that, didn't I appreciate the people surrounds me ? Didn't I? Because I really feel neglected.Maybe it's just a feeling and not more.
I am sorry for being emotional. I lost my words between the days. My emotion went wrong somewhere. I guess.
Allah, I am grateful to be an Islam since I was born. I read an article, out of 1000 people who crossing Titian Sirat, only one passed and another 999 fell to Neraka. Ya Allah, I really want to be one of the thousands. And help me to be even good. Allah, secure my muslims sister, I can't do anything beside keep creating doa. Help me to change myself ya Allah, and if ever it happen, one day, you'll take back the life that You have lend it to me all these 17 years, I really want to be someone who died with iman .
I knew, with all the Ujian you gave to me, I knew, lots of people out there faced more tremendous Ujian. For each test, I knew, You love me, and I am having great faith that, You wont test someone, beyond him or her limit. May all the feelings I had inside, the tears I sacrificed for, worth all the while.