A piece of Al Fatihah for him.

April 24, 2012


Out of sudden, my eyes rolled at the calendar, eh 24th April, *like seriously its like, eh dah 24 April *clearly the past days passed just like that *just like that *highlighted. Same things merry go round.

And its been almost 2 months something my acik passed away. And yesterday , before I slept, I kept thinking about the memories we had together. Ya Allah, time passes . It has been 2 month. 60 days plus plus. Al fatihah. Back to previous month before, as planned, my another uncle is going to get into a new life : marriegment somewhere in early May. And probably, at this time, I am spending my time there in Banting Selangor. And the wedding called off.To an unknown date. Sigh. Kita merancang Allah menentukan. Significantly, I understand why. And yes, let my acik go first, each  7 days, 40 days and 100 days means something.

I was remembering him badly last night as I asked my mom regarding a Zakat Selangor educational aid. And I was like questioning her : how my brother asked for the aid before? She happened to answered : Dulu Acik Dayat yang... Then she stops, repeating the statement with different expression : Dulu Arwah Acik Dayat yang tolong hantarkan ke Pusat Zakat Kuala Langat. And I was like. Acik. Trying to be cool. Cheering up my mom with lots of questions. Ibu, I know how bad you feel.

Calling back the memories when he was around. He was the one who sets a jubilant of feeling in me to do my best in PMR and SPM. Yes, I am a normal human being. Eyes blinked to offered stuff like handphones and etc etc. So he promised me. He was the second I called when PMR result was announced. There was once, I get a phone from him. But he said that the phone was not functioning well. And yes, I returned it to him.

He was the one who furnished all the house furniture. He changed the house physically look. He paint the house, he get a fan for each room. And, he didn't managed to get one for my nanny's room but the wiring is ready. Each time, I was trying to sleep : Each time, my eyes rolled at the wires set, Ya Allah. Acik :'(

Right two weeks before he passed away : I was spending my weekends in Banting. Preparing for the wedding. He was sitting in front of the television , I was trying to pass him, dia lunjurkan kaki, haha thank Allah, I didnt bumped into my mom. It was a last joke I guess. From him for me. On that weekend, my sister craving for Roti Nan Cheese, he was the one who bought it for her. There is one time, my sister and I craving for Mc Donald. *haha again my sister is a food-craver. He was the one who bought it for us, we lift up the McD from the balcony as we know, if my acik send it manually : by mean, masuk rumah, lalu depan my brothers, konfemmm tak merasalah kami makan Double Prosperity Burger. Before I'm going back to Melaka , " Nanti acik carikkan, " and I smiled. Haha, phone letuww. *mock voices by the family.

I pretty remember, one week before he passed away, again we're back to Banting, wedding preparations again. His last word, very last word is, Tolong bukakkan gate. He was going out for somewhere. I can see his ignorant to my mother, he was outside the house, and when we arrived, seems like, he didnt see us there. Something went wrong. Huh?

To see him, to be so closed to him masa pengebumian. I was like, speechless. I can't cry. Ya Allah, he was taken on your barakah day. Ease the path for him. Ease it. :') I get to see, how heartbroken his girlfriend was. I hugged her. Allah, again I know, things happen for reasons.

Spending most a month after my acik passed away, every night I was by my nanny's side : She used to tell me stories. Through the days, I can see her. How strong she was pretending she's okay. How lonely she feels. As my acik was the one who always accompanied her. I can see, there were times, she was crying *its after 2 or 3 weeks after my acik passed away.

21st of March, SPM results was annouced. Satisfied with what I 've achieved. And I know, surely, he will be one of the happiest person with the result. Even my aunt touched my nerve with a text : Kalau acik dayat ada lagi mesti dia happy dengan result Anis. Yes I know he will. I know he will.

Ya Allah, I love him. Like no one others could replace him. I know that You know he is a nice guys, very warm, hardworking yet very humble . The one who always make his mother happy. The one who makes people surrounds him happy. So, ease it for him. Take care of him there : a separated world. And  Allah, shows someone for his girlfriend. A very good guy that deserves her. I know how deep she feels inside. How hard to accept because if ever it was me , I know, things gonna be so hard. Really hard.

Acik, no worries, one day, I know where the justices should stand. If ever one day, I am written to be a lawyer, one of the reason is you. You aspired me.

Al Fatihah. 

me sitting beside him. :')

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