Jangan overjudge a post by its title people. Come'n Come'n. See I was actually reminiscing memories and thought of something in past that I can actually be implemented in my current awesome life. Hmm, I apply my soft skill. My stupid sarcastic joke skills. My harassment skills. But not falling in love skill. I eventually forget how the love glow and flow. Aicewaaah perempuan ini terlalu overboard. I mean love toward opposite gender. I am typical human being, being born to love and to be loved. As it we all *girls* come from someone's tulang rusuk. Maybe two is better than one and I am singing so loud. Haha :*
Last time I fall in love so deep was in two thousand nine. Early two thousand ten and the feelings fade. Up until now. I dont know how actually I define the love matter itself. Does it when the other side give response, I considered it as a love. Or we ourselves having crush-feeling on someone. See. Love trembled me. Bravo. Its been two years kan? Cepat masa berlalu.
I never had any strong feelings towards someone include having crush or what. For these days. I mean.
I said random things to random people. Like saying hye or even statement like : "You're just too cute to be true,"
I feel like being killed figuratively by my own statement. Gheesh.
I almost forget or completely forget the feelings of falling in love.
and kenapa tetiba je boleh cakap pasal benda benda lovey dovey thingy ni? hmm. hmm.
sebab aku rasa aku rindu rasa nak jatuh cinta tu. I almost fall pass few days. But I killed the feelings. Just by reading through tweets. Pehh senang gila gaya nak bunuh perasaan. Yes, what for hurting so far if the reality seems not to be with you. Adakah aku terlalu pasrah. Mungkin. Sebab my lecturer words come across my mind : kalau nak carik someone, carik sekarang, nanti dah kat universiti dah susah nak cari," .Aku takut. Yes, how can I attract people in this size kan.
Somehow it test my faith. Kau tak yakin ke najwa, you're written for someone. Someone is written for you. And all the love story had been written dah. Tapi something like : Kalau tak berusaha, takkan Allah nak grant you something. Mash up gila benda benda ni.
I know I realize I shouldn't talk about this. Aku mungkin boleh cakap : Route masih panjang. But no one would actually know. Mana tahu, my route for jodoh tak berapa nak panjang. As it kahwin masa 19 tahun ke. 20 tahun. Who knows? *aku terlalu terjebak dengan adam hawa ni, Oh yaaa Ain Hawani never knew yang dia bakal kahwin dalam usia yang muda dengan cara ditangkap khalwat* weh bukannya aku nak kahwin dengan cara yang sama gila. There are possibilities people. Never jump into conclusion , deal with assumptions.
Benda benda macam ni beyond my expectation. Beyond apa yang aku boleh pegang. Not saying that aku lepas tangan dengan masa depan sendiri, but I leave this to You. Soal jodoh. Soal hidup. Soal mati. Soal pertemuan and perpisahan. I know if I do good, I'll be granted to be with someone good either. Yes sometime I admit yang I am so scared that I'll be an anak dara tua ke nanti, yes sometimes masyarakat punya perception affects me.somehow indirectly*
I never been so choosy how I want my husband look like later. Because me myself don't know how I define handsome itself. Just take a good care of him for me. Idk when you're to meet each other. Idk how the situation was. Idk everything but then I am sparing my heart for him.The unknown him. If one day, saat aku masih ada blog, I'll let him read this. See how I appreciate him even he's not around. :")