Many thoughts had been running actively through my mind for the past few days , celebrating my Monthasary lols this is even a word ( Month + anniversary ) last 19th of October but it happened that the thoughts appear when I am walking to the school for classes , which its always early in the morning and I would only get my laptop-blogging time in the evening and by the time I reach home , I'm tired , hitting the bed... and thoughts left as thoughts.
infront of Cardiff University's Main Building.
Mengaku je malas. Tidak perlu lagi berdolak dalih aicewah.
So much things I've been seeing these days , reflections on how my life had been so far here. Well literally far from home ( ayat takde connectors langsung namun sila abaikan , I'm writing this down at 1.48 am in the morning , so expect the worst writing , hahahahahhahha pernah ke writing bagus sister? Ketuk kepala dengan jari telunjuk secara sopan haha ) ( my gums are bleeding and its kinda distracting me well kumuh air garam je dari semalam ni ) ( motifnya bagitahu ) haha
As seen in social medias , I've been 'enjoy'ing myself with studies er , escapism from my comfort zone ( I don't know if this is the right choice of word , but yeah I guess so ) by signing up for some charity works which its a Yay for me since I've been shutting myself off from social interactions with humans in a bigger scale for this first month ( excluding my friends and law mates etc etc which also outside my law world ) . Haha seeing how interesting Malaysia society ; Deepavali's pot luck + some dikir barat in the instagram video and I am here trying to figure out my criminal law tutorials questions.
well , I guess I am in a right track , you can freely shout at me " Najwa , have A LIFE "
So lets be serious ! ( life should be taken seriously as life is precious , randomly quoted from unnamed philosophers haha )
Locals and their hardworking level.
Yes , during my first tutorial , I am a type of person who only enjoy scribbling my questions papers with arrows and tiny answers ( extracting ideas , like general ideas usually , not deepen answers because I usually want my brain to only capture certain keywords / ideas and by the time I am facing exams / presentation / or anything related , I am able to generate the words through the keywords only , this is how years had been working for me ) but certainly not for my first month here haha. I was shocked / amaze / realize how lazy I was , how ignorant I could be , to see the locals / other internationals having a full set of notes written down in an orderly manner ( I only make a very simple mind map without the detail answers ) , I was lucky that was our very first day of tutorials ( because I only have tutorials on Monday and Tuesday , a bit of unpleasant feeling because you're struggling during weekends ) so that I am able to get the first idea how a tutorial would work.
You somehow faced that inferiority complex moment when it comes to discussing ( as I mention I am able to generate keywords and ideas into proper words all these years ) its not working well here as I might concern about how my Malaysian English slang sounds like , and sometimes because you always use a mixture of Manglish words in presentations , seeking for a good choice of words ( as its a no choice but to speak English all the time ) to make the people around you to understand what you actually saying ; and at the end the tutor would help to rephrase back yours words in an understandable wordings ; I cry. haha.
This might sounds pehal minah ni nak brag but I passed my English language test during the orientation week and it happened that people who pass don't get a place for English language support classes ( for you to cope with the classes ) , and you know I've been wanting a spot ( while I am writing down the essay in the test because this support class sounds helping and I know it would ) . Because deep down , I feel like , I need a language support. To get my tongue back in the verbal track bahahahhaha.
I swear that 2 hours could be one of the most suffocating moments for me because obviously I came unprepared , well I thought my preparations considered prepared enough , not till I saw how hardworking the locals were , I guess I need to refine my preparation scale. haha.
I went to a Malaysian Law Society meet in the past weeks , where someone do ask about how many hours shall we allocate for tutorials , and the senior answered " 7 hours , at least " kira macam 7 jam tu paling cikai like paling cikai and I was like " Oh uh 7 hours " well I am obviously doubting that ehe and by the time I am in that tutorial-prep-session 7 hours is not enough I tell you ! Straight seven hours is a madness , I tried five hours and its madness , even its stated inside the contract tutorial handbook , you're advised to spend 10 - 12 hours on tutorial which it includes reading + questions and answers .
Now I got it why its only two classes per day ( one class : one hour ) , law school one hour class is prior to five hours of reading ( my friend's father said so ) still I haven't dedicate 5 hours out of 24 hours I had to do serious pre reading. My bad. haha. Well I do try reading + walking to the class but its so cold that I need to place my hand in my coat and yeah ( phone placed in the pockets ) . Maybe I shall try to record my own voice and get irritated ahaks.
well , now that Law School is a no joke for me. HAHAHA DO YOU EVER SEE IT AS A JOKE GIRL ( emoticon mata tajam kepala berapi )
lesson learnt ' come prepared to any tutorials / classes. Prepared means , prepared skala locals. Well at least come with an organized head and brain on whats going to happen in the class later.
Wet Cardiff with warm people.
Cardiff is practically wet these days , I got myself pairs of shoes ( ignore this line haha ) which are waterproof since its raining / drizzling all day ( well some days you could be lucky if the sun shines and it actually radiating heat haha ) . Its funny how I really wish its cold back then in Shah Alam during Alevels days , and somehow agreeing to twitter jokes that Shah Alam is situated between the earth and the sun , like where the moon is situated haha . And how I see myself fancying the heat that the sun in Cardiff radiated.
I met my landlord last week while we're eating Nasi Lemak ( woke up to see Nasi Lemak on the table served ) hahaha my bad I slept late during weekends. because the weekEND. All these while we had been contacting them through phone calls and emails to settle down about the house , well I don't really do that part that much , but still I did at some points . They're like super warm I tell you. They even tasted our Nasi Lemak though the sambal is quite spicy , well its spicy , exclude the quite , me self proclaiming orang Melaka can't stand the spiciness and my housemate were actually asking
our landlord, our super super super baik landlord , Mr and Mrs Robert , the wife's name is Dorothy :)
" Najwa betul ke orang Melaka ? " Half breed , Melaka Selangor. Hahaha apa kau ingat kau python ke najwa?
I've been reminded by people back in Malaysia about how locals could make you feel uncomfortable by seeing us as aliens from Asia. Well it happened that Cardiff had quashed my stigma. The people here , from the very young age to the elder seems pleasing , at least I feel accepted here as an internationals , plus I'm wearing hijab. So far , alhamdulillah. No one yet mocked anyone of us , why we're wearing such clothes ( exclude there's this one day we're waiting for the taxi and there's suddenly a guy who're driving shows us a middle finger sign ) well its once and never happened again at least till now. Maybe I am in a law - student - area , that people are much more open and they actually understand / they don't even bother asking but through stories I heard from my friends staying at halls and their flat mates actually concern about our halal preferences , do and don'ts - I guess its just wonderful here .
Religions and belief.
Alhamdulillah , here in Cardiff I haven't encountered moments where I need to perform my solat in the changing room in the malls ( maybe because I have a friend staying at the city and her house is practically our ' City Surau ' ) or seeking for an empty seminars room to do our obligations. There's plenty Quiet Rooms around the schools ( accessible almost all the time )
Last time when I was walking down at the city street , there's a man giving some speech in public regarding " Why We Need God ?" and it can be considered as da'wah in their religion. I am amazed as I am seeing it done it the public , some people do actually stop and hear to what the guy was saying , he's not even a father ( the one who lead in the church ) and I don't see any sisters around there as well .
Maybe back in Malaysia , there must be people doing street da'wah but I haven't got the chance to see any , well if there's any , it'd be pretty tiny scale. Because what I always see , the da'wah is being spread in Malaysia to those who seems ' interested ' and 'approachable' as how they dress ( I mean like usrah meant ( at least in the context I am seeing it ) for those with who're wearing hijab and etc related ) , like how Tabligh work , it somehow reached by people who already have at least basic understanding regarding the religion and having that awareness to get involved.
But how about the one the others? Maybe because we're majority practicing Islam as a religion ( sadly for large groups of people is not making it as a way of life - diri sendiri pun tertampar laju ) , we ASSUME everyone knows. we ASSUME the ignorant people choose to be ignorant when some of them actually don't , they simply don't know .
It was one of the scene in a Malay Movie , can't recall oh wait wait , the Nur Kasih ( yeah thanks google ) when Remy Ishak is organizing a religion class well not exactly but some sort like that and there's this one ustaz who came ( played by Beto handsome ) and he refused to give the talk to the teenagers there as they're not in proper dress ( guideline aurat ) . And at that points you kinda question , which one shall came first , the force or the awareness? Yang haram tetap haram is betul , I do agree with that , no matter how much we debate about that , still , matlamat tak menghalalkan cara , like in the movie , matlamat dia is to educate these kids with the religion basis and let the spark of changing come from their inner self , but somehow in other perspective , some things in life shall be taught by force then came the awareness.
Gone far , I am.
but , the point I was trying to say here , seeing how a normal approachable people speaking out loud about why we need god in our life , promoting Christianity in the middle of the city - sadly how in Malaysia we somehow perceive that Masjid , Surau , Sekolah is merely more than enough for this perkembangan agama . We're protected under law if we are going to spread Islam and its beautiful contents in random flyers and random talk in the middle of the city but most of us just choose of not doing it , because practically me myself assume its not needed and everyone knows and aware.
Lesson learn , don't assume and yeah I do feel I trying to invest some efforts and make changes in the country regarding this matter :)
well these were some big not that big reflections in life , at least for the first month here , di bumi yang Islam itu asing.
Ajlaa ( my destined partner hahaha I can tell so ) shared with me earlier , when I was asking for her Hard Disk but instead she hear HADIS , well there goes my random reminder ;
" Sesungguhnya Islam itu datang dalam keadaan asing dan akan kembali asing sebagaimana datangnya , maka beruntunglah orang orang yang asing itu "
Mari jadi orang yang asing. Tapi jangan asing sorang sorang. Ajak ramai ramai :) Biarlah kita pulang sebagai orang orang yang asing :)