Selandar :)

I miss Selandar. A LOT. Full stop. 

Yesterday while my house-mate and I were having our dinner, we talked about our school. I don't know how it started but I think I ask about the layout of her school specifically Sains Selangor. 

It was a bit easier for me to tell things as the school plan is simple , its a big L and everything is SQUARE in shape . Then we started to draw the school plan in my mi pad and of course after three years your head filled with all law and facts, drawing become worse and its not doing any justice for school so we started to search things online (as it may sound easier ha ha)

whoever owned the picture, I am in LOVE with this , thank you , see the SQUARE selandar :') 

So I had this preference when it comes to batch or school, I have specific persons' album to look through, its always the same since school ended , there's whole accessible Facebook albums to see, the revolution of technology makes thing much easier nowadays, make reminiscing memories much better as you have the evidence captured rather than staying inside someone's mind and vanished in thin air when they get older / increasing priorities and such.

Its been indeed so long since I last talked about Selandar, of course its always inside my mind , in fact did figuratively carved a home deep down inside my chest , with a mighty arch named 'Selandar' ( I was imagining the Arch of Triumph ( Paris ) inside my head, how you fit those inside your chest haha ) 😝

So as I was flipping through the pictures in the Var Farvel album ( its our last dinner after SPM  (owned by a batch mate ) ( I am rooting for this particular person / couple as we're schoolmates haha ) ( school couple haha ) ) , I showed the pictures to my housemate and asked, which among them are married? Which she had to guess four of them ( Ohmaaaai FOUR already aaaa you girls so advanced , two are mothers , one expecting another baby to come ) ( here I am taking care of my Yunny the yellow flowers and get tired to be bothered already 😓 )

and perhaps none of them , in the pictures, back in 2011 would have thought they would get married early, having babies on top of that , I mean of course we had all these marrying at early age topic for that five da*n years in fact that is perhaps the most popular topic above others ( you have to know how regretful I was to be swayed away in such melodramatic never ending topic ) ( we should discussed more about politics, economics, or maybe ditch all this kind of teenage-drama topics blergh )

And yes, not everything was fun back then , some things are better now , but those days are worth remembering. 

Days where we had to rely on two or three bottles of water when there's a shortage supply of water, you need to wait in line with your pail and bring them upstairs , worst case scenario when you're located at the fourth floor ( wuhuuuu that's one good time in Dorm 20 ha ha ha ) , and now in the UK they charged you a flat rate of £46 a month, sometimes lump sum payment for 6 months, for all-you-can-use-including-drinking-from-the-tap-water without giving any thought of any limits of how long could you spend in one shower session. 

Not only that, having forever mushy feelings , admiring the same person for almost four years and changed the focus after that person left the school , its all so funny now ( used to be so serious back then , and I wish I could delete that part haha ) ( but it is the hormones, they should take the blame haha )  , the debate and all the fun-stress-enjoy-hectic attached to it, place where you complicate simple matters , I mean there's so many things I experienced being there. I am perhaps not good in telling the details, and I do omit many parts of the stories, but I hope it stays inside me, as long as Allah permits it to stay. 

Nevertheless, its a place where part and parcels of my life stays. Still proud to have this school kind of conversation , and proudly says 'Selandar' when they asked which school I am from. 

I remembered the day where I did 100 x ketuk ketampi in front of the junior prefects when I was furious with them ( but not wanting to have any grudge on them I decided to do it too , so its all fair and square(selandar) haha ) ( its part of my fault anyway so that's fine ) , and THAT SHOULD BE THE LAST TIME I EVER DID SUCH THING IN MY LIFE haha , its painful guys, why did Ain ever came with that punishment at the first place ( curse Ain , insert sweet words here ) 

I don't specifically remember with whom I spent my time with , not even with the ge'ef I guess *because we basically becoming like a group when school ended* , and I don't specifically remembered how it was formed , but it was me who set the group back then in 2012 kah kah kah ) , days I spent my time , like a partial psychopath sitting inside the bushes near the field , inside I repeat because I'm feeling so distant with my friends, because they don't invite me to be a part of the  study group , and with all the sadness going on , I tell myself but I need to prove that I can do this ( without getting involved with the study group ) ( I bet they don't even realized they ditched me hahaha ) ( 

you so funny Anis Najwa , small matter also sentap haha.

but I was not sensitive as well in the past , remembered this one quote from this Tenggelamnya Kapal Van Der Wijck ,

Demikianlah Perempuan. Dia hanya ingat kekejaman orang pada dirinya walaupun kecil, dan dia lupa kekejamannya sendiri pada orang lain 

 I guess this applies to human generally not only women hihi

But I survived high school with good memories left with me, ( I may say that) , I met countless of good, heart warming people , pakcik pejabat , pakcik makcik jaga, pakcik tukang kebun, makcik kantin , all the teachers , the school as a whole ( of course this is not some sort of fairy tales , they're some evils among them but that doesn't affect me that much ) ( they do in the past ) ( now not anymore ) ( not THAT much ) 

I remembered last year I went to Mydin during summer and I met one of the makcik kantin, and due to the easily-recognized Anis Najwa , she remembered me too ! You people are so good

May Allah reward you guys accordingly ameeen , lets have this one big land in the paradise with all the Selandar square buildings , perhaps more advanced things , like you can just blink your eyes in Aspuri and a second after that you completed five rounds in the field , or arrived Dewan Makan. Or perhaps entering ko-op and take lots of roti sardin , roti chocolate ( they are sooooo good , the roti sosej too )  without the worry of how much left in your purse to survive another day and get a nasi goreng with telur mata from the kantin. 

Its all about the foods you're talking now . 

And above all , I actually hope if one day I have this one superpower of turning back time, 

I wish I am all wiser back then. 

Not taking advantages on the blessings I had. Maybe studied harder and study for the sake of loving to study. And perhaps embracing the beauty of being a Muslim more even you're not a part of Badar people. I had this mind set of , let the prefects do all the technical things and the Badar should  take care of the religion and faith part ( lol for thousand times ) .

I am just having a thought of the word 'Badar' itself, years ago , to me its just Badan Penggerak Dakwah dan Rohani , is that what it stands for? 

Not until I came across the battle of Badar, the first war in Islamic civilisation. And the revelation of Quran that speaks about how Allah is very pleased with the Badar people, whom we called the first forerunners, the creme of crop and the qaedah sulbah ( the backbone of the growth of Islam ).

I remembered the story of Rasulullah asking Allah to give the victory to the Badar warriors , that says

 'if they are defeated, no one in this world is going to worship the Al-Mighty anymore' , 

"Ya Allah, penuhilah untukku apa yang Kau janjikan kepadaku. Ya Allah, berikan apa yang telah Kau janjikan kepadaku. Ya Allah, jika Engkau biarkan pasukan Islam ini binasa, tidak ada lagi yang menyembah-Mu di muka bumi ini." (HR. Muslim dan Ahmad)

if you think carefully, at the time Badar battle occurred , there are plenty of Madinah people who already embraced Islam, in fact more people are embracing Islam. But why Rasulullah said there will be no one left to worship Him, which to show how strong , or how powerful are the faith inside every member of Badar itself , to be the core of the team at the early stage of spreading Islam, the blessings to the land. 

Everyone should have possess the quality or the spirit of being the BADAR itself , I wish I do. I wished I did.  

Because everything will then be so different , things will be much meaningful , 

Dhuha will be more than just about norms the form fivers do for exam wise , at least for me , Quran recitation ( even reading tafsir ) will be much more enjoyable rather than just to fill your time after dinner and before Maghrib. Even usrah on Friday afternoon won't be something so heavy for everyone or something everyone looked forward to , it should be fun, supposedly rekindling the spirit after a week of workloads. 

But things happens for reasons I believe. and whatever time line you're currently living in, and maybe our time used to cross each other in the past , and may your life be blessed in whatever things you're doing. 

And without Selandar, I perhaps never came across what Mathurat it , or never being able to memorize Al-Mulk easily ( not that easiLY , but surely easier because you're used to ) ( we had a task last year which to memorize Al-Mulk in our usrah , and tasmik ( checked by kakak naqibah every week ) ( part paling nervous dalam usrah haha ) 

Because you're used to this one fix schedule every single day in Selandar , the practice, the customs and the norms are making you much flexible and prepared to start a life in a no-rule-abiding-you-any more world.

Like how weird could it gets when you're on the phone with your mum at the public phone ( I miss the long queues when we had only ONE/TWO PUBLIC PHONE in the Aspuri, 2007 and the battle of the coins ) and there's random kakak came from nowhere said 'Kirim salam Mak' 

and you were like err okay k err 

when you don't even know my mom yow sister awkward , but that used to be so awkward moment are repetitively done NOW as a matter of courtesy ( or to pro-long / stop the conversation with manner ) 

Awww Selandar , see what you have done to me 😂

p/s I looked horrible in most pictures I had in school , very hard to find a decent one because eventually I never care, and should have really care , I am keeping all school photos in seventh forest deep inside the jungle, got eaten by the tigers ( you even have vegan tigers eating photo now heh Najwa ) hence abolishing the evidences ha ha ha