So this is what I've been wanting to write about for the past few weeks,
I guess I had a really busy August, I am only home for weekend last week ( I had another trip to Kelantan tomorrow and next I'm grounded till CLP classes starts haha ) but spent my Saturday morning attending career orientation which I initially thought that it was an interview invitation but it turns out to be an orientation .
Its overview about the position we're applying for, I am a bit sceptic I would say but that three hours session did really in some sense pisses me off ( it was about insurance selling and also they mocked you about how you can make a lot of money ) .
No offence because I guess I am the minority one who perhaps for now, not really driven by the wealth part. Maybe I was hoping for a wealthy well off husband ahaks.
And went through couples of interview, and there's two upcoming interview, one for the second stage, one for something I think, I aimed for.
As I went to different career exposures, I did have that pause moment where I asked myself ,
Is this what you want to do in your life?
Honestly speaking I did a lot of jobstreet application, and applied for whatever position that sounds fit ( both qualifications and skills maybe plus no car needed since I don't own one ) , because we are in the phase of we can't be choosy over our start up careers because the economy aren't doing so well
( or this is a presumption? I mean economy as a whole can be doing well but from the perspective of the middle-income family earners, the current *what is the right word deyyyy* situation is not good )
But really, can't we be choosy at all?
I may not focus on the salary part, but its more on the happiness and personal development part.
You'll spend like almost half of your day at your workplace and to the very least lasted for weeks or months or even years, will you be okay to spend your time doing something you don't enjoy?
I got those feelings when attending a Sales and Marketing interview which I initially applied for the 'Event Fundraiser' for NGO's but apparently the job-scope is bigger than that, which to do brand marketing.
As I was answering the questions, my brain cells actively attacking my head with a simple question ' Do you really want to do this?' and keeping a fake smile showing you're partially enthusiastic with the position is just hard.
But I am good with smiling so yeah haha
And of course even till now, I may not be very clear about my career pathway, I did mentioned in all interviews I attended that I wanted to be in the legal field in the future, but still feeling so vague whether I can handle the CLP while juggling studies and working, but I need to earn the money or else life in Kuala Lumpur might be hard on me and my parent's pocket obviously.
But regardless of the shady blurry vision of the future ( which I hope its okay at this phase ) ,
I realized that I had a very clear vision on what I love to do.
Through preparations for interviews ( talking to myself basically ) , I realized most of my answers even what I'm pitching at in jobs application, I would definitely said
'I love empowering people. I really do'
and its more like empowering through education and educating.
I like engaging with people, but more on inviting people to feel educated ( miahaha ) hence I guess one of the reason why I write.
I figured that all these while the reason I do debating is not just to lash people's idea as the third speaker, but to make the audience understand what is this whole thing we're debating.
The reason why I presented for the International Symposium back in 2011, is not about winning at all but to educate people that there is varieties of cultures in Malaysia to be embraced. So I didn't really prepare much, but I did my very best to make what I am telling to the audience really come from my heart.
Even as moderator for the Women Seminar back in Birmingham, the reason I said yes for the position is more than just obediently follow my mom's request to accept it. Its a position that enables me to educate people.
And it brings me back to the days before we had our Rohingya awareness talk February this year, a week before that I seek for different articles online, there are six or seven of them I guess, ranging from history to economy and reasons why the conflict in Rohingya is happening, seeing the issue more than just a religion break issues.
I print them in two sets and had a serious ten minutes reading among the committees in charged for the charity sale on the day.
We then shared what we got from the article.
Why two sets of each article? Because two people might get different thing from the same article, so its basically a good thing to be able to celebrate two kinds of stories from an article.
The aim of that is I wanted the people involved do really know what they are doing, and I wanted to give a meaning to what they are doing, not a mere fund raising for the unfortunates.
I wanted them to feel that their very small help by cooking and selling cakes/desserts contributes a lot to the people, and at the same time they are empowered educationally on the current issues. through this very small event.
We are doing this in the UK where locals do attend our talk, so I wanted them to feel that what we're doing is not just a day off program of awareness, we're actually making people from different sides of the world to be aware off that there's different humanitarian issues going on in many parts of the world.
It empowered me as well, all these while I had the jist of the stories of Rohingyans through the news but never really seek in detail why this conflict started and whatnot.
And its very much related to Al Hujurat , chapter 49 of the Holy Quran. Verse 6 ,
O you who have believed, if there comes to you a disobedient one with information, investigate, lest you harm a people out of ignorance and become, over what you have done, regretful.
Media can be biased and its important for us to seek for the truth from different sources.
Small Changes, Big Differences
And this morning I watched a 16 minutes video of the Small Changes committees being interviewed on the causes Small Changes are doing , and I guess this is just something I love to do.
I consciously said yes to the revisit camp in Kelantan when I badly want to spend my time longer in the UK to enjoy UK for the very last time, but I arranged my flight back , apart from its weekend, its to attend the revisit camp.
Because I did want to apply to be the committees this year, but its being unfair for myself in terms of time wise.
I had a commitment on the ground with IKRAM UKE as secretary in my region plus as vice director and project manager for different events , at the same time I need to prioritize my study as I'm a final year student , so taking more than what I can have on my plate wouldn't be fair to both myself, and also the organizations I'm giving my commitment to.
So I guess to the very least, I can contribute as facilitators, and that's what I love to do the most, to engage with the people - managing is fun but again I need to be fair, to be someone who put the right thing at the right place.
Of course volunteering starts to be a part of my life to fancy my resume, brutally honest , or not brutal enough.
But I attended this TN50 talk last February and there's this one specific person talked about a one-off volunteering, I was kinda slapped in my face, but for whatever reason you start , lets see it from a brighter side. There's always a first time for something, or perhaps its a journey for you to really figure out yourself and to unleash your passion or potentials you never know you possessed.
|Kalsom last year :)|
Its a learning process anyway.
as these writing coming towards the end,
I love empowering people with the thing I am really passionate about. And I do believe when I'm doing it out of love and it comes from every inch of my heart ( instead of just bottom of my heart >.< ) people can feel it too.