My attachment to human can be so high that one of the most constant prayer I would ask Him after every prayers is to lessen my attachment towards human, be it my desires, whatever temptation I had, to whatever stories I badly wish to share to someone.
|to one of the good days I had|
I never knew what other cure I can use to wash away this clingy side of me.
Because I know I cling a lot on people and I dislike that side of me. I dislike that side of me who clings and get too attached to human. Ultimately it become one of my weakest point when the person turns me down. I become so vulnerable , and fragile.
Hence I always tell people if someday they don't wish to talk to me anymore, let me know properly so I will have an ample time for myself to detach properly - let me face the harsh truth rather than putting me in a state where I hope ( still clinging ). And of course not many will tell me directly , they left me hanging, while they are enjoy continuing their life.
no matter how high the walls I built, once I let my guard down, I am just one helpless creature.
Be bluntly honest with me, please. It hurts of course, but it will feel much better that way.
I SERIOUSLY DISLIKE THIS PHASE OF MY LIFE :(