CHANGE OF HEART

I was scheming through Youtube yesterday and I came across a vlog,which I have been following for few years now. 

I thought I saw it wrongly but the couple I have been admiring for years went through a separation. To be honest I was quite surprised and sad considering they have kids together, and all these while they looked okay. But after going through few vlogs concerning the issues, I know change of hearts happened and separation doesn't necessarily means bad.

I saw both the couple agreed on the separation as they both knew its whats good for the relationship.

Some people do ask about whether there's potential they will get back together in the future - I loved how they accepted uncertainties of the future, and choose to make themselves a better person now. Like no one would know what they future hold and that is so true. 

They choose to focus on things they can control which is really the right thing to do which to do their best as the parents to their children and focus on developing themselves while the separation happens.

I know many people hold on to the relationship because they see it as the best decision to do for the sake of their responsibilities ( mainly when it comes to child care ) ,

I work as a paralegal and most of the cases I handled concerned the non-living properties with perhaps some civil suits , but my co-worker is working directly on the cases concerning feelings and human being.

Hence working in the law office, I often hear to cases concerning divorces and the tangible problems to it ( fighting over the child care - the dark stories behind the separation ( the cheating and whatnot ) and to some extend leaving bad bloods between the ex-spouses. 

So I often question myself these days, what makes a man stays loyal to a same woman and vice versa. I mean you can really see there's just so many everlasting love stories, but not being in their shoes. I badly want to interview someone on the reasons that make them stay.

Was there any change of heart in the middle of the relationship and just how you fix it.

Change of heart in relationship is not the only thing I am concerned about. Because obviously there's just so many issues going on inside your heart : relationship could be one of it, but obviously there's other ongoing issues. Things like your interest towards something.

Few days ago, I was talking to a friend of mine about our old days working for the organization. I know for certain now that I miss those free times I am able to give my everything towards the charity works we've been working on in the past and whatever things that requires my energy and time.

Which I come to question myself, so is dakwah and tarbiyah is something you are very committed to only during your free time?

It hit me hard seriously. I don't know whether the answers I came up with are excuses, or is there any changes of priority, or I am just a busy creature.

It saddens me each time reading my old post, the ability to reflect on things I did with what He wants me to do in life. I hardly find myself being reflective these days, I indulged myself too deep into very petty things and I loose control of myself at many points.

This brings me back to the constant prayers I always recite at the very end of every prayers.

O the turner of the hearts, make the heart stays steadfast in this straight pathway.

Your bae at Cardiff Bay hahahahahah lol December 2014

Change of hearts happen ! and its real too - one day you find yourself falls so deep for someone and some other day you hated them for real.

There's this one ongoing divorce case at the moment where the ex husband framed the wife into a criminal act. He got on the wife's nerve and the wife slapped him ( and everything is recorded ) . The husband is then using it as an evidence that the wife is not competent as a carer to the child because she's a criminal .

Funny how causing hurt with provocation ( for such person ) is really coded as a criminal act ( I lol'ed myself ) ( because provocation is often a defense to a criminal act  but in this case what defense shall we plead for the wife ) - we can only came up with bad characters from the husband's side . But just for your trivia of how interesting law is ; when you exposed someone's bad character , its a gateway to the opposing party to expose the same about you.

( guys do law please, its really interesting miahahhaha ) 

Because I know change of heart happened, I wish that He with His Mercies will keep me

One, either stay with whatever things, or with person that will keep me closer to Him

Two, to make myself feel at ease with whatever change of feelings He gave me, even to the tiniest spark of doubt

Three, to make my heart prone to good things and the same time, aligned my characters and deeds in the pathway

Of course I am like any other human, I strayed away from the deen line for so many times, I went overboard following my desires , I sinned a lot !

And along the route, I am so blessed when He gave all the little clues ( sometimes I am just so slow at catching up things ) - I was rather slow but little that I know, I am trying.

Knowing change of hearts sometimes may changed your personality and characters, I always hope I will be someone who react to things positively , able to treat people nicely no matter how mad I was , because I have once or many times stuck in the situation where I was treated badly and it made me so sour.

And I consciously know my ego was successfully altered and tamed by my mom , because never once she turned those bad people as bad to me, she will always have the ways to ask me to learn something from the people.

You people must be so lucky eyyy later in the judgement day we don't even need to meet each other lol because I guess I am good at forgiving miahahha.

So I guess I am just not born to hold grudges, well at the very least for now.

Just like how Google changed its heart for me haha by approving my Adsense account after being rejected for few times that I loose my hope - they said the best come unexpectedly ey , so in case you want to be a help to me life virtually, help me to click the ads miahahha your help is very much appreciated :) 

Love, the'ann