I am given a chance to wish on something regardless how it gonna work or how the wish would come true. Through sprinkles of magics. I wish that I am thin. I wish that I am not an XXXXXXXXXXL size.
Well to say this, it took couple of days. Months or even years. Regarding the fact that everyone can access through my blog and maybe some people might had different prospects of interpretation regarding it... Finally have guts to spill it out ...
I don't know why the determination to become thin were not really constant inside my head. I've been wishing for it. I am working on it but still , but I literally failed. And because of being physically like this, I stressed out so many people outside there. They put the blame on me. They put the blame on my mum for not raising me well. Just. Stop. To hurt me its okay.But not my mother. I know your intention is good - People who care on someone who don't really care about herself.
Some people claimed that they're helping...
But they don't really realized that they're driving someone's life insane.
lesson learnt - understand then talk.
And it stressed me out too.
Couples of months before , that day wouldn't fade from my memory. I finally see how cruel the world , they judge. They discriminate just because they thought they're perfect enough. I can see many eyes judging on me , it do pierced me inside like a razor blade. All those perfections they had. Because we're living in a rigid society with their one sole definition of beauty.
They claimed that its the beauty of freedom of speech.
Because what they said , they speak out the truth.
Yes. I know you're pointing out things that we can really see from our eyes. You can tell by just looking. And your intentions - your deeds left scars.
lesson learnt - speak with courtesy.
When there were too much pressure. I tend to have a lifeless life. I couldn't talk. I couldn't share it with anybody and all these days , the tears streamed down easily. Because it hurts . To share with someone on things that they never felt. And I create my own world. I pretend that the blog knows me more than the human does. Because the blog never said something harsh on me. It never hurts me tho.
* sprinkles of magic *
Thousand times I told myself. Not to give up. This is for your own good. Not to give up najwa. Not to. Ini fasa berusaha. Bukan fasa tawakkal. Masa hadapan adalah untuk manusia yang percaya. Manusia yang percaya dengan kuasa Allah , kuasa doa yang menjadi penghubungnya dan kuasa usaha bagi mereka yang ingin mengubah nasibnya. Fullstop.