January 18, 2014

Sometimes its hard to make people understand. It neither we told them directly to their faces or conveying the message through words. I know that words can always be ambiguous as different people may interpret it into different meaning. 

Like :

Aku okay.

A short line that surely give different interpretation and acceptation. For girls when they said they were okay , usually it means , I am not. Who in this world nak buat orang lain rasa susah? Because uttering it into a longer lines would definitely be hard. Saying I'm okay obviously they're not okay. I don't know whether its a common sense that you can read and feel someone's emotion through their words and expressions. But surely its not common since I met some people who simply take " Aku okay " as O K A Y and leave without even trying. Not that you necessarily try to make those people be O K A Y emotionally and literally - but for me the act of leaving without saying condolence or anything that may sooth pierced. Aku rasa banyak je kategori manusia yang fake it because being frank regarding it , surely only least people will understand. 

Sebab tulah each time when I feel people don't really understand me , I wish my future someone - means anyone that will stay by my side , its either friends or encik husband,  can understand me without the need to say " Saya okay " but they know exactly the time for good words , hugs and soothing sessions. But it seems hard , sebab diri ini sedia maklum dengan manusia lain , juga hidup dalam masalah masing masing , maybe expecting one human would really care and understand , susah nak cari. Ada tapi susah nak cari. 

Tapi overtimes , I can't deny some people live to only understand literally what the words are all about. 

Somehow , its me that says world revolve around 360' and three hundred and sixty people might have different opinions on something so to expect someone that thinks and act alike , it'll be the 361th person. This is not one kind of counselling session classes on how to understand women. Entah , somehow aku rasa aku complicated. 

I can cry the whole night to the Merciful because without expecting and hoping. I know Dia faham in and out , what I like , what I don't , what I want , what I don't want , what I hope and things would be just the same for every night. 

Somehow jugak , I can't never says that I understand everyone in this whole world. Sebab we're in the range of the 360' . Our wants , our desire and our understanding towards something might differ to each other. Menjadi orang yang memahami , bukan bermaksud kita blend through someone's life in each points , tapi cukup untuk tahu certain limit do or don'ts in their life. Tak semua tapi , at least sikit. I know that idea's may clash but couldn't you take something that I want into account? 

Sometimes all I want is just to express. 

Kau tak faham ke.
Kau rasa kau faham tak aku?
Ke kau faham tapi kau pretend yang kau tak
Atau sebenarnya kau tak faham langsung?

Like after all these while. 


Najwa , aku tak pernah faham kau. full-stop. - someone says this before. 

Again, to say it all over again might just tiring. It bothers me to say and to show. Because at one time, I just want wonders. True friend. True soul mate. That understand . No matter how complicated I would be , I just want someone that understand. I do have some. But some in the big range of friends I had. Its bothersome to yourself when I came to think about that . Then I tend question myself. Apa eh tu kawan. 

Endless answers. The definition differs with different people.

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