In this land, Cardiff

July 12, 2017

Its 12th of July already and less than a week from now I'll be leaving Cardiff for good. And its not an easy thing to deal with overwhelming feelings of leaving your alma mater - knowing this the land that signify you to change to a better you. 

You figured your future and carefully crafting it according to your liking fitting to what the Creator wants , I can say that these three years had shaped me to be a better version of Anis Najwa. 

In this land I found love. 

People whom I met for a very short amount of time loves me unconditionally and subtly changing me.  I initially thought that I was firm enough with a stubborn personality that I wouldn't budge no matter how high the water comes. But I was wrong. Because  He is the turner of the heart , He who holds the heart and I forever wish that he keeps my heart firms to stay in this journey. 

Its not about just receiving but giving love as well. I found people whom I love dearly that I wanted the same best thing for them , the exact same love I've been receiving all these while. And I expect nothing more but for them to be better each day, and perhaps someday we'll have a big reunion in the paradise. 

My ayyash 

with my energetic Khawlah 

With my adik adik usrah Afiah and Piqa Nod 

My taman syurga missing Kak Naurah 

Taman Syurga missing Kak Aisyah and Insyirah 

Thesiger with Mama Nor 

In this land, I continued to figure my passion. 

Though in the middle , or at many points I am doubting my choice, like why it must be here, when the journey seems tougher and longer. But I choose to believe in Him that there are so many reasons why I am here. 

I can never say that I have a very deep profound love in law, though people will go like mehhh Najwa mehhhh you're very serious with law. 

Trust me, my confidence level on the surface looks convincing but me on the inside is like lalang that dance to the left to the left and to the right ( I am singing now haha ) 

now its very clean with no books sobs 

some days we found ourselves ( technology noobies ) making A4 cards for Dave the receptionist on his birthday. I swear that he's so lovely like atuk atuk macam tu. 

ground floor law school. 

In this land, I continue to make new friends, growing my network , approaching random people. 

At this point I am grateful that I have my random side of me, some day in the past I said Hi to someone who I followed her on instagram ( like a pro stalker liddat ) and she followed me back instantly ehey hahahah that was really random ikr ! But in UK specifically I felt the warmness Malaysians are offering. You will instantly feel safer and feel belonged? and definitely feels okay to have a chit chat. 

In this land, I found so many things to be grateful for. 

Of course not everything is as good as we imagined. Some days there's random passer-by that will boo you for wearing scarf with all these growing fear of Islamophobia - days where you get so worried thinking all kind of possibilities that will happen to your family across thousand miles - days where you craved so bad for scrumptious meals people posted on their instagram stories. Those days your tears streaming down behind the phone screens seeing everyone gathered around. 

and for those things that I missed in life, I find it to be the reasons to be grateful. And of course in a way your dependency towards Him grow stronger because only to Him you can spur everything, asking Him to take a good care of your family back home. 

Cathays - in front of the law school 

Its really, like living in the clouds of rainbows. 

Cardiff, you've been so good to me, I love you despite the rainy days in winter , despite the blazing hot days , I am grateful that you're the answer to my prayers during my A-level years when I asked for the best place for me, and indeed you're the best place Allah make for me. 

Hoping someday I will be here again. For whatever reasons I never know. Till then , stay warm and lovely as you always do.  

Love, the'ann

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