Phrases that affect me

July 06, 2017

I'm just so affected with Kehadiranmu by Lah Ahmad now 

We all do have tons of different phrases that kinda stuck in your head and giving some sort of impacts on the neurons ( uuuuuu someone is talking about neurons ) , a positive kind of affect anyway , as it make me ponder a lot ( and to take actions too ) 

And so I had mine as well. But recently, there's two significant phrases affect me in a good way I may say

Earlier when we had an iftar Perdana at the community centre , one phrase that the ustaz said that kinda hit me very hard 

'Celakalah manusia yang apabila Ramadhan pergi meninggalkannya , dia tak mengambil pengajaran / tidak berubah ' . 

I don't fancy those tarbiyah sentap because I believe that one heart can't tolerate this harshness of the reality , but this time around , it kinda hit me right inside my heart, thinking whether I've made a full use of my Ramadhan.

I encountered a phase which I forever hate, and I named it as a vivid futur phase. How to describe futur eh , its like you're ditching all the Quran recitation , too lazy to pray on time , and basically I was just too lazy. And I made my Ramadhan wasteful , all I got is the fasting from food and drinks part not other things. I felt so bad that I regretted those days :( 

Like I never know if I can make it to the next Ramadhan ( when so many good people were taken by Allah in the Holy Month , but here I am slothing around 😔 what if you're not chosen to be in next Ramadhan. 

And that was when I wrote somewhere about the list of mutabaah amal I practice in my life, from that moment I know that I shouldn't write about it anymore ( its like you're tested with the things you wrote , aigooooo so hard T.T Allah have mercy on me 😖 ) 

And next is when I read on twitter

 ' Sia sia satu amal bila ada detik riak dalam hati seorang hamba' .

These harmful one feeling, comes when you feel you're holier than the others because you're doing something good. And its for the sake of showing someone that you're doing something , but not to please Him. Its not about what others think , its what you have inside your heart. 

Hence from that moment I try to refrain myself from posting things like 'Waiting for iftar today' while doing puasa sunat. Because you never know that suddenly those riak comes beneath the lines, showing that you're fasting , its better to take precaution steps.

Because after all the reason why we're doing all these ibadah is to please Him , because He deserves it . And its our investment for our next life. 

So I am trying my really best to purify my very own intention to submit the best prayers and ibadah to Him , giving the purest form of ibadah to Him. Because after all He will be the one who receive the prayers , like why should we give Him the torn apart kind of ibadah isn't it?

and these two phrases affected me so bad, and I believe that when something vividly hitting you hard, there must be something that Allah wants me to think or do - it won't be there stuck in your head for no reason. 

I miss these people a lot. Take care Ayyash. Live well. - Jaulah Ayyash 2016 

I did some job applications just now, pray for my road after graduation life , jzkk khayr 

Love, the'ann

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