My Men-Women Relationship.

Sampai satu masa kita akan lalu fasa dah malas nak seek for relationship sebab kita rasa kita dah lepas fasa awak-tengah-buat/makan/minum/buat/makan/minum-apa dan mungkin dah masa untuk prepare diri sendiri untuk benda yang lebih serius. Yang selari dengan tuntutan agama . Dan mungkin juga umur. Mungkin.

I lessen my talk-to-boys sejak masuk INTEC. Sebab dah rasa malas dan mungkin jugak takde siapa nak approach bahahahha well I don't care since I've decided yang dekat INTEC dah mula fasa tersedar dari mimpi dan nak berusaha bukan pada kata kata tapi usaha yang betul betul usaha. Jadi lelaki dikira sebagai benda yang menghalang hahaha sebab diri sendiri mengakui yang opposite gender boleh buat diri ni jadi leka and dragged . No offence , because this fact applies to me. So I did read my past diaries yang I just want to put this one guy ( in the past ) in my heart and that's it ! 

Gradually as time passes by , I never know whether the one whom I put in my heart , is very into my liking or its just acting as merely a shield from me seeing other guys. And I got confused overtimes and sometimes I guess he's the one but the other time he was just a past , a history that lives in me. Its only after years , I decided to leave it behind , believing that he was just a past / a memory , a good memory indeed. And because it's 'good' in every sense , that's why at the first place I let the memory of him stays inside me. 

Though I need to admit , its hard to seek for the reality that beat the 'good' memory. Still , I know that he might not be the one and probably not the one. When I say THE ONE , I guess you'd know that I'm talking about all kind of jodoh related. 

Susah sebenarnya nak cari masa untuk go deep dengan diri sendiri. Sebab rasa macam dah really growing up ( in the sense of love motion ) . And bila nak cakap pun , rasa macam dah tak boleh pergi dengan lovey dovey ni. Durrrhhh ~ ~ ~

Overtimes I would find myself stalking couples . And kejap tu pulak , bila dah macam envy pasangan yang tak halal , rasa macam dosa pastu stalk pulak orang yang dah kahwin. Hahahaha you know what's even burdening to me? Tengok orang get married at the very early age and knowing you have no one now. 

Well many could say " Kau ada family , ada tuhan , ada semua benda kecuali a lover " , can I just pull your hair? Or pick one of your nose hair or something? ( tukar nada membaca dengan laju dan berakhir dengan gelak macam orang gila dan end up dengan tangisan dalam gelak ) Because that one lover could matter most when you're seeing an old couple holding hands in the middle of the shopping complex and you can even blame your eye sight for choosing that kind of sight and I is sad. and because what they say is all true that you can't never deny the truth and you'll end up crying sambil melayan sisa gelak haha ) 

Huh. 

And you find yourself at the end of the endless thoughts / notes / a blog post - believing that one day will come. That the one you've been fantasizing after years ( and they might not even meet your fairy tale criteria ) will turn up because we've been fed with this all happily-ever-after ending. Cerita dia is kena sabar. Kot. Bukan kot. Tapi memang kena sabar. 

I guess I've been dumping jodoh-motion prayers dalam solat. Dah lupa nak mintak dengan Allah nak suami soleh kaya hensem romantik semua. Sebab dah banyak kali go through An-Nur ( surah ke 24 ) yang Perempuan yang baik untuk lelaki yang baik , dan juga sebaliknya. Instead kajang berjela ciri ciri suami , dah masa untuk kita mintak Allah jadikan kita ( diri sendiri ) jadi lebih baik dari segenap segi , dan kita dah tak payah nak risau dengan siapa yang Allah pairkan untuk kita. Aicewah gaya kahwin tahun lepas ( emoticon muka monyet tutup mulut ) 

Mungkin boleh kot campak nota untuk yang bakal menempuh perhubungan complicated dengan diri ini miahahahhahahhahaha ( gelak seperti syaiton majalah Asuh )

Hai. Haha awkward kan nak kata hai? Mehlah saya tukar jadi Assalamualaikum awak ( ayat ayat cinta petala bawah teras bumi ) . Meh la tulis dalam English supaya tak awkward pakai saya awak ana anti antunna semua haha. Hey , I guess since I'm not in the mood of searching you , I guess and I hope you're not seeking for me now. ( tapi kalau nak cari jugak secara aktif , teruskan , takde hal , malah saya lagi suka haha - I like surprises well all girls , or majority of my species fancy surprise hahahahahha )

Mungkin kita dua tengah ada priority yang lebih besar , jaga dulu apa yang dikendong , takut bila dikejar ( jangan risau saya species selalu tak lepas sukantara bab bab 100 400 metre hahahaha lawak la tu? ) tercicir pula apa yang dikendong tu , ye doks? ( tolonglah kata awak gelak sebab saya akan selalu buat lawak lagi hambar dari ni dan sampai satu masa awak boleh confuse nak gelak ke nak marah lawak lawak saya ; tudiaaaaaa gaya macam sweet en? haha ) . ( tapi betul yang saya punya hambar mengundang ketukan senduk di dapur. )

ketahuilah yang awak ada jugak dalam gambar ! Cuma dalam hati. HAHA OKAY AWAK SAYA TIPU ( sambil gelak rabbit )

Okay , serious ni kejap , be good always , people do mistakes , so do I , so dalam fasa kita belum dijumpakan ni , lets make ourselves better for each other - let us repent on our mistakes  , better for the religion , so that later we'll build a family which is even double tripple better in every sense insyaAllah. 

I guess I've grown up and stop putting criteria about how you look , how you supposed to behave semua , because I know if I do good , Allah bagi yang sama level insyaAllah. Saya dah tahap redha bila kita akan jumpa , bila sebenarnya timing tu , jumpa atau tidak kita ni di dunia. Lets keep the left notes dalam kepala saya bila kita nanti jumpa. Jaga diri awak. Serious jaga diri. Lets always be in each other dua's , though our dua only talk about the anonymous , to be always in dua's , I certainly know , its love.

( mood baru lepas tengok My Love From the Star )