Embracing the moment - bits of it

I know I know, I've been writing a lot nowadays, perhaps I am just sad ( hence why I write more, because I dislike those uneasy feelings bottled inside me , because it could be tiring ) but to be honest, I am happy too. 

Been doing all sorts of most random things with Diy. We did a live video yesterday but end up showing boring stuff hahahahha I don't know that those places we walk through every day are just so boring - hence I am taking the chance to annoy Diy while I can. 

Perhaps you have been seeing many of Diy in my social media. Don't worry we're mutually annoying to each other - hewhew. 

And randomly spent my night at her place - because Kak Ngah cooks yeay ! ( its a nayyy to be honest because I am eating heavy dinner T.T but Diy is just good at soliciting - its a cheat month Najwa ugh that girl ) I should have leave a set of toiletries there isn't it . 

And this morning she dragged me to the gym ( and I am wearing a skirt ) but nevertheless had a good five-ten minutes playing with the stuff there.

I am in the phase of teaching myself from detaching. I don't want to appear clingy - even though I know I am, telling myself that you should not go beyond your limit , its just so hard for me but lets take control over yourself Najwa. You know how much amount of refrain I put - sometimes it gets so painful and just numbed my feelings. 

You need to learn on how to let go things Najwa. All these while you're so good at handling multiple heartbreaks isn't it? You're always ready to build back the walls, you're used to these kind of situation , slowly but surely. 

Never mind, acknowledge that its hard, because its indeed hard but you can do this 👊

Someday I am glad that this phase happened but someday I wish I am never into these things, because I know myself, I am not good at handling things like this , all this heart-love motions. Its been quite sometime since I talk about this and now I am just annoyed with myself, just like what I am thinking now and I hate seeing myself being stuck in this phase. 

Which reminds me of my mom, she once asked whether I am dating anyone ( back in last summer? ) so I said to her, if finding a man is as easy as studying, I am perhaps dating five now hahahahahahah * studying is not that easy too k * * but that is perhaps one of the thing I am good at * * apart from cooking haha *

Sometimes I had myself thinking, why this seems so hard and difficult for you when its just so easy for the others. I know I know I know ( screaming inside ). 

But lets not be so hard on yourself baby. 

Enjoy this feelings , enjoy every bits of it - because its a learning process. Savour the feelings being in love , with all sort of butterflies you had in you - after all its a feeling Allah gave to you to feel , to learn, to embrace. Things take time and its definitely okay :) Its just me. 

Here I am trying to read more books, haven't properly finish Happiness Project but I need to return the book soon to Nanaz , and I'll soon start with The Other Side of The Coin by Aiman Azlan and in a meantime I shall get myself a new book, I'm still eyeing for good books around. Or I'll be repeating the same books on the shelves ( ehems you got plenty of CLP books Najwa )

I am not into movies these days, because its just so tiring for the senses ( eye and ears hahahahah my illogical logic )

I guess somebody need to really stop hearing to this Helplessly by Tatiana Manaois - this song is not helping me at all nowwwww but it matches my condition now but lets get into different music tracks. 

On the other hand, I am being so playful and mischiveous these days with my co-workers, someday I'll find myself meow'ing in the office while going through the files, the other day I had fun teasing the boys with the baby powders, perhaps I am so comfortable with them around me - so I am behaving like that and they were accepting those weird sides of me. 

Bless them Ya Allah for being able to tolerate me, hahahha I would say bless everyone who's able to keep up with my weirdness. 

22nd birthday - May 2016

Okay this post is really out-of-the-blue. I just wanted to jot things down so I'll become less sad, less emotional , and I guess I am just good at expressing in writing , and if that is not being celebrated by human being ,its okay I definitely understand that , writing on this blog seems suffice insyaAllah. Hahaha later I'll find myself writing on my private tumblr too. Leuls. 

Love, the'ann